ineke.co.uk

This, however, is genius. @johnlewisretail has teamed up with @QualityStreetUK. For £12 you can pick and mix your own 1.2kg tin, and chose which sweets. Hate the strawberry cream? You can ditch it. Want loads of purple ones? No prob pic.twitter.com/Wa48rnuFtc

— Harry Wallop (@hwallop) July 12, 2018

I’m sold. pic.twitter.com/5Txs8gfzDj

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) September 15, 2018

May want to redesigning that. pic.twitter.com/xSYflxwOkv

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) September 16, 2018

Are you sure? pic.twitter.com/7NMEAL7MsY

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) September 15, 2018

Amen!#churchsigns pic.twitter.com/Q4dtxnq4xQ

— David Crowder (@crowdermusic) September 16, 2018

*to the tune of Destiny's Child's "Say My Name"*

SPELL MY NAME, SPELL MY NAME
IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE EMAIL
IT'S NOT A HIDDEN DETAIL
THE SPELLING DOESN'T CHANGE

— Crypti-Calli (@Iwillleavenow) September 14, 2018

There are two types of emoji-users in this world. Are you a @MayaJama ❤️ or an @Alicelevine 🙄? #TheCircle pic.twitter.com/pqn9GdjYxB

— The Circle (@C4TheCircle) September 16, 2018

This is a cautionary allegory about machine learning. https://t.co/8jNhSRg5YW

— Kyle Byers (@Kyle_Byers) September 15, 2018

I went down to Salisbury
To listen to the choir,
A pair of Russian tourists
They were staring up the spire,
Staring up the spire, they were,
Silent and aghast,
Against the sky, hurtling by,
A piggy flying past.

— Pam Ayres (@PamAyres) September 15, 2018

I know there are some of the 2,000,000 people who follow me who think “Zach, enough with the politics. Just post Scrubs memes.” But this presidency is just too batshit crazy to not stand-up and say ENOUGH. (Also, I can do both.) pic.twitter.com/0RasC6l12v

— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) September 17, 2018

YOU LITERALLY HAVE SMALL PRINT ON YOUR AD pic.twitter.com/3bcg5MH5Gp

— Alex Bell (@alexbell) September 17, 2018

Poor Katie Hopkins.

Not sympathy, just an assessment of her finances now.

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) September 17, 2018

Oh dear, Katie 'IVA' Hopkins, this tweet hasn't aged well https://t.co/GYKP1nNTVC

— Prof Siob #FBPE (@Sillyshib) September 15, 2018

Passed my favourite road sign yesterday. pic.twitter.com/QJPbVF3Pzo

— Janet Fielding (@jfmouthonlegs) September 16, 2018

Me: Do you have the Harry Potter audiobook?
DJ: no

— Jon (@ArfMeasures) September 17, 2018

NICE THINGS ABOUT TUESDAY
1. Bake Off
2. Monday is six whole days away
3. Craig David is statistically more likely to take you for a drink

— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 18, 2018

I think it's time for all the Catherines, Catharines, Katherines, Katharines, Kathryns and Cathryns to get together and vote on how they want their name spelt, because it's getting very confusing.

— PaulKerensa (@paulkerensa) September 18, 2018

Imagine being so racist that Nigel Farage tells you to tone it down a bit https://t.co/0eS1uyTrHV

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 17, 2018

Jon helping Ruby is the perfect example of why Bake Off is the best show on TV. Excellent humans, the lot of them. #GBBO

— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 18, 2018

First meringue, now blancmange

Welcome to "Things that are horrible to spell week"#GBBO

— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 18, 2018

The fact that Kylie Jenner is trending because she ate cereal with milk for the first time is mind blowing. What in the world??? 👀🤯

— MELLA I$ MONEY (@CarmellaWWE) September 19, 2018

Twitter 2009.

I like apples.
I like pears.
That’s cool.
Yeah.

Twitter 2018.

I like apples.
So you’re anti pears then.
No, I just prefer apples.
So you hate pears.
I never said that.
Fucking pear hater.
I don’t hate pears!
Yes you do. You make me sick. Scum.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) September 13, 2018

Not such a bargain @WHSmith #YouHadOneJob pic.twitter.com/WU2nvvA6Pn

— Gavin Sherriff (@gavws5) September 20, 2018

I just briefly thought that calling people that listen to the show everyday ‘Gregulars’ was a good idea and that means I need to go to bed immediately bye

— Greg James (@gregjames) September 18, 2018

Do you need an Alexa or a Parrot? pic.twitter.com/2z3IA5LJAB

— Dave (@davechannel) September 20, 2018

My first ever meeting with @antanddec pic.twitter.com/6c5uCyYmzi

— David Walliams (@davidwalliams) September 20, 2018

It is a lot easier if you realise most of my preaches are notes to self. My fragility finds its comfort in strong words. https://t.co/VtW0U1D656

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) September 21, 2018

This is cringey on so many levels. 1. “First of all”, who sends out a list of rules for a wedding..? 2. Please learn to spell. 3. You can’t dictate your guests’ hairstyles. 4. Demanding a minimum monetary amount for gifts is classless. https://t.co/KFJbHjxpCq

— 𝓁𝑒𝓍 𝒹𝑒𝓁 𝓇𝑒𝓎 🌹🍒🥑 (@lexintheA) September 21, 2018