ineke.co.uk

I regret to inform you that this is how Joe Wicks pronounces Wensleydale. pic.twitter.com/pcMNVCyHOa

— Grant Tucker (@GrantTucker) August 18, 2019

There is only one context where one is permitted to use the phrase, “doing life together.”

Someone asks, “What are you reading in your book club?”

One may answer, “We are doing Life Together by Bonhoeffer.”

— Scott R. Swain (@scottrswain) August 17, 2019

It took me years to realise that near-empty Marmite jars should be kept on their side so you can the last of it out more easily. That’s why the jar is flat is the sides pic.twitter.com/X4q8iUsFXw

— John (@casioroee) August 18, 2019

The fact that human beings are born with the capacity to laugh tells us something about God.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) August 19, 2019

Newly-revealed Great British Bake Off contestants say they’re absolutely delighted to be on the show, as it means they’ll have access to eggs and milk after Oct 31st.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) August 20, 2019

CHATNAV – new service where your mum gives directions with bits of info you didn’t request

‘Turn right at Marks & Spencers, they’ve got some nice bits in the sale at the moment ‘

‘Straight on South St then left by uncle john’s ex wife’s house…remember her? She had tinnitus’

— Tiffany Stevenson (@tiffstevenson) August 19, 2019

This is the best thing I have ever seen. ⁦@noelfielding11⁩ ⁦@sanditoksvig⁩ ⁦@RadioTimes⁩ pic.twitter.com/zavsDeeIoh

— David Walliams (@davidwalliams) August 20, 2019

Live scenes from Denmark as Donald Trump cancels state visit: pic.twitter.com/TdLPiJFvWK

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) August 21, 2019

Pythagorean Theorem Day is a holiday that is celebrated when the sum of the squares of the first two parts of the date equals the square of the last part. The last Pythagorean Theorem Day was August 15, 2017 (15² + 8² = 17²), the next will be December 16, 2020 (16² + 12² = 20²).

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 21, 2019

Currently chickening out of posting a link to an investigative article which I found interesting because I think even posting it will draw flak from people who won't like it. Does this mean a) I'm a chicken; b) Twitter is now a total bar-room brawl or c) this tweet is too meta?

— Martin Saunders 🤦🏻‍♂️ (@martinsaunders) August 21, 2019

Population distribution of the United States in units of Canadas #Map #Maps #Terriblemaps #Terriblemaps #USA #Canada # pic.twitter.com/AI2Zwuk3Q6

— Terrible Maps (@TerribleMaps) August 21, 2019

Guys, please stop asking me to respond to whatever nonsense Piers Boregan is spewing today. I muted him the last time that thirsty little bitch tried to climb me for attention. I can only suggest you do the same. 💋

— Jameela Jamil 🌈 (@jameelajamil) August 21, 2019

The verb ‘to poop’ was first used in print to mean ‘to defecate’ only in 1903. In the 18th century, it meant ‘to break wind’, and in the 14th century it meant ‘to make a short blast on a horn’.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 21, 2019

I was today years old when I learned how long owl legs are! 🦉 pic.twitter.com/NaNy3dG2wN

— Sarah O'Connell (@SarahO_Connell) August 22, 2019

The London Underground has its own subspecies of mosquito, which is more aggressive towards humans than its surface-dwelling relative.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 22, 2019

Don't worry if you failed your GCSEs. Just remember that you’re still more intelligent and competent than the President of America.#GCSEResults2019

— The Poke (@ThePoke) August 22, 2019