Bookshop with free-roaming kittens who need adopting.
People might ask this about pastors as well … pic.twitter.com/oSgAikrg6r
— Andrew Wilson (@AJWTheology) March 6, 2021
the characters in Jaws can't hear the score so it's not actually that tense for them
— more mr. nice guy (@juniorhoncho) March 6, 2021
I would pay another penny in tax to ensure NHS staff get fairly paid, and to ensure we continue to have a functioning health service, though I'd rather see it paid for by super taxes on the covid super profiteers.
— Patrick Grant (@paddygrant) March 6, 2021
Have managed to go down with some rotten fever that testing today revealed wasn’t COVID and now I feel like those people who got hit by taxis on VE Day.
— Fergus Butler-Gallie (@_F_B_G_) March 6, 2021
If we hadn’t wasted £200bn on Brexit we would be able to nearly TRIPLE the whole NHS budget.
— Professor Lord Sir Dominic Cummings PhD (retd.) (@Eddystone506) March 6, 2021
Is it me or does Nigel Farage quitting politics come round earlier each year?
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) March 7, 2021
I don't think the pastor got the hint. The song before the sermon was "Let My Words Be Few" and his weren't
— Church Dad Jokes (@MrChurchGuy) March 7, 2021
I suppose Oprah’s “your truth” is the progressive cousin of “alternative facts”.
— Giles Fraser (@giles_fraser) March 7, 2021
We know we show the odd repeat but at least we are not at the 'Piers Morgan going on about Meghan again' level of repeating ourselves.
— Dave (@davechannel) March 8, 2021
I never met an oven chip that didn’t hugely underestimate its own cooking time.
— Will Duggan (@Willduggan) March 7, 2021
They asked, I told #SaveAndContinue pic.twitter.com/3jCNAjjMDd
— Richard Coles (@RevRichardColes) March 8, 2021
Shoe Zone has named Terry Boot as its next finance boss after predecessor Peter Foot walked away from the role https://t.co/uHiR7vc15t
— PA Media (@PA) March 8, 2021
💔 Night Trev. I love you. pic.twitter.com/17sXcpVDhI
— Dawn French 💙 (@Dawn_French) March 9, 2021
This photo from Myanmar of a nun pleading with police to spare the lives of protestors is extraordinary, an image to compare with the Tank Man in Tiananmen Square. pic.twitter.com/UpqM66SC6S
— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) March 10, 2021
We will ban the tooth fairy.
It is not acceptable to teach children that they can make money from selling body parts . #Manicfesto— 📢 OffiCiaL MoNsTEr RaVIng LooNy PArTy 🎩 (@Official_MRLP) March 11, 2021
Kinetic door pic.twitter.com/iDeujTt1WK
— WOW! That's Engineering (@engineering_wow) March 6, 2021
It's almost the weekend! Time to stop looking at the internet as a distraction from work and time to start looking at the internet as a distraction from everything else!
— Dave (@davechannel) March 12, 2021
One year anniversary of the world's wrongest infographic pic.twitter.com/eKuxtGAMXt
— Marx Gasol (@socialistraptor) March 11, 2021
I just cracked a maths thing I was working on (video to follow!). @Dr_Lucie put on the song Congratulations by Cliff Richard. I’m not British enough to know if she is being serious or I’m being made fun of.
— Matt Parker (@standupmaths) March 12, 2021
Cat uses sign language to alert her deaf owner that she'd like a treat. pic.twitter.com/eGEAfj0zCb
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) March 12, 2021
Imagine having the balls of WH Smith. If you can charge £2.99 for a bag of Haribo with a straight face you can do anything.
— Fergus Butler-Gallie (@_F_B_G_) March 12, 2021
Good news @richardosman. Your mum can take her finger off the button pic.twitter.com/ScJAtiEZBt
— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) March 13, 2021
me telling myself I’ll exercise during lockdown pic.twitter.com/NUHEu97Hpk
— ✨Elsie Lovelock✨ (@ElsieLovelock) March 1, 2021
"i acknowledge that i have read and agree to the above terms and conditions" pic.twitter.com/Ny0PLvQlZ3
— Waxou (@maxoupial) March 1, 2021
"i wont buy more books until i read the ones i already have" pic.twitter.com/zb0OJuTou8
— anto (@caspoppys) February 27, 2021
The Duchess of Cambridge has paid her respects to Sarah Everard at Clapham Common bandstand pic.twitter.com/fOCDsV8SuR
— Thomas Newton (@SkyTNewton) March 13, 2021
this is my favourite piece of literary criticism of all time pic.twitter.com/mgssCzWbci
— chloe ellen (@chloellene) March 13, 2021
Nobody did it better. I doubt they ever will… pic.twitter.com/Ld1yl17KWZ
— Jake Humphrey 💙 (@mrjakehumphrey) March 13, 2021
Murray Walker could make ANYTHING exciting with his eccentric commentary style. This is one of my favourites – snooker! "He's missed it, he's missed it, FANTASTIC!!" pic.twitter.com/KQcg5iqN2A
— Paul McGinnes 🏁 (@PaulMcG92) March 13, 2021
He met her once pic.twitter.com/igBu50WTHN
— Megha Mohan (@meghamohan) March 11, 2021
UK media tomorrow trying to pretend today’s interview was offensive, when actually it was pretty dignified and protective over those who did the worst. pic.twitter.com/UG02qoDwoH
— Jameela Jamil 🌈 (@jameelajamil) March 8, 2021
Harry and Meghan’s escape from the limelight hits a small snag after they accidentally record a two-hour interview that will dominate the global news cycle until April.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) March 8, 2021
Pregnant woman reveals she was suicidal. What does Piers Morgan do?
Attacks her.
Man’s a bin.
— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) March 8, 2021
Shout out to the 5 people still watching Dave right now.
— Dave (@davechannel) March 8, 2021
RESEARCH – and I can’t stress this enough – YOUR HUSBAND.
— Katherine Ryan (@Kathbum) March 8, 2021
They should have done this interview in the Pizza Express in Woking and never referenced it.
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) March 8, 2021
Humphrey Yogurt
has got to be the best name ever for a first workplace. #MeghanAndHarry— krish kandiah (@krishk) March 8, 2021
A pregnant woman talked about how she felt betrayed when her dad talked to a press that left her with suicidal thoughts, so we’re getting him on. Happy international women’s day by the way. pic.twitter.com/WKya1SvGuh
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 8, 2021
stressed about the height of this coffee table. too low to eat off. just tall enough to accidentally kick your drink over whilst crossing your legs. useless for playing hide and seek. just a terrible table. pic.twitter.com/W93Fg0IZl2
— Laura (@fairycakes) March 8, 2021
— Mind (@MindCharity) March 8, 2021
To storm out of a studio live on TV because you don’t like what your mixed raced colleague is saying about your perverse and hateful obsession with a mixed race woman who ceased contact with you, then knowing that your job will absolutely remain in tact….must be nice.
— Clarbie (@claraamfo) March 9, 2021
Hi I’m Piers Morgan. You may remember me from years of publicly abusing Meghan Markle then inviting her dad on my show the day after she said she’d been made to feel suicidal by the media. Today I’ll be pissing my pants and running away because of mild criticism.
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 9, 2021
Piers Morgan’s attempt to single-handedly destroy ITV’s mental health campaign going well this morning.
— boydhilton (@boydhilton) March 9, 2021
Unbelievable that this Prince Andrew interview was 85 years ago. pic.twitter.com/hQWeqPmK4R
— Jérémie Fernandes (@TheJeremieFern) March 8, 2021
I think the lesson of the emerging world is that you can no longer treat people like shit and expect them to stay quiet. Maybe this is alarming for those who got used to so many people having no platform to speak up, but they will simply have to learn that it’s changed. Good.
— Katy Brand (@KatyFBrand) March 9, 2021
Five minutes of criticism and Piers Morgan can’t handle it.
He spent yesterday deriding a pregnant woman, who has endured years of abuse from him, for admitting that abuse made her suicidal.
I hope he’s replaced and I hope he never works on television again.
— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) March 9, 2021
Those of us who know the power structures in the entertainment industry, both visible and invisible, know that @alexberesfordTV did a very brave thing on air today and I hope that @itv throw their full support behind him.
— Katy Brand (@KatyFBrand) March 9, 2021
Ahhh ok so he agrees it’s ok to remove yourself from a difficult situation…
— Vick Hope (@VickNHope) March 9, 2021
Dan Walker’s persistent patience and grace towards Piers Morgan is a thing of beauty… and it strengthens the power of his point at the end. https://t.co/3KPKIRv4oJ
— Tim Farron (@timfarron) March 9, 2021
Shame the words “good morning” are in that tweet 🤷♂️ https://t.co/cNZl7prJq4
— Matt Le Tissier😁 (@mattletiss7) March 9, 2021
More like Piers MorGONE am I right haha can’t wait for live comedy to come back xxx
— Maisie Adam (@MaisieAdam) March 9, 2021
If GMB want to go in a very different direction & employ John & I, on tomorrow’s show they could expect us to lead with Swansea’s draw at Blackburn, before ‘have you got a printer in the house?’ (8-8.30am), & then ‘have you ever seen a big celebrity in a small car? (8.30-9am)
— Elis James (@elisjames) March 9, 2021
i hope piers forgets to cancel his alarm and it wakes him up at 4am
— ︎Dean (@DeanRed123) March 9, 2021
Dear UK Media,
I hope you’ll make the right decision not to book Piers and his politics for a new show. This isn’t the moment to bag a “divisive figure”. It’s time to allow accountability, which means not rewarding a man who gleefully harasses women with a new platform.
Cheers
— Gina Martin is *still* staying indoors (@ginamartinuk) March 9, 2021
Once told a male mate I don’t listen to music when walking so I can hear anyone approaching and if walking alone at night I hold my keys in my hand to use as a weapon. I’ve just got used to doing this. His surprise made me realise these are probably things more women do than men.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) March 10, 2021
As a teenager, one of my mates could call her dad at any time of the night, and he'd come and pick her up – no questions asked. Idiotic me used to laugh at him for spoiling his daughter. I had no idea how privileged I was to be insulated from the reasons why. #SarahEverard
— Richard Burr (@RichardPBurr) March 10, 2021
So, it's not all men. We know that. No woman thinks all men are violent. The problem is that we don't know which man will be, and the fear isnt hysteria. It's based on experience that some men will hurt, intimidate and attack us. The dangerous men don't wear signs. #SarahEverard
— Katharine W-R (@kwelbyroberts) March 11, 2021
It’s horribly telling that, so often, as soon as a woman realises you’re gay you can sense a reduction in hyper-vigilance. The threat level has fallen. I often find myself making my gayness very clear ASAP for this reason.
I don’t know if straight men realise the extent of this.— Patrick Strudwick (@PatrickStrud) March 11, 2021
Since last year on this day, these are the women killed in the UK where a man has been convicted or charged as the primary perpetrator in the case. pic.twitter.com/CTaLOc0F5v
— Jess Phillips MP (@jessphillips) March 11, 2021
People in the crowd turn on their phone torches in Clapham Common, London, after the Reclaim These Streets vigil for Sarah Everard was officially cancelled.
📷Victoria Jones – see more at https://t.co/jR0m7riAHz#SarahEverard pic.twitter.com/gTwXUnzuRF
— PA Images (@PAImages) March 13, 2021
Anything to add...?