Wishing you so much love and luck for the next chapter! P.S. Tabling that the new guest hosts should be referred to collectively as Osmen.
— Lauren Laverne (@laurenlaverne) April 8, 2022
Apologies to my mum who, despite living through two years of pandemic, saw the photo I sent her of my positive covid test, mistook it for a positive pregnancy test, and got overexcited.
— Robyn Drury (@robyn_drury) February 17, 2022
When you and the gang are out reporting on one of the biggest massacres in modern day Europe, but someone sees a cute cat. pic.twitter.com/ElDaxcVwp8
— Thomas van Linge (@ThomasVLinge) April 6, 2022
Family member is thinking of getting a cat called “Cleocatra”.
— David Smith (@DVDSmith) April 10, 2022
If they then get a dog, under no circumstances will I let them call it anything other than Bark Antony.
So Rishi Sunak thinks that his billionaire wife's income – and where she pays taxes – is off-limits for scrutiny, yet when I applied for Universal Credit I was asked questions about the income of everyone in my household.
— Paul Sweeney (@PaulJSweeney) April 9, 2022
One rule for wealthy Tories, another for the rest of us.
Had a mug printed with a colleague's face on it for his birthday. When's he away from his desk we occasionally use the picture to unlock his shitty phone and ordered toys for his kids from Amazon.
— Fesshole 🧻 (@fesshole) April 10, 2022
Telling the truth has become so rare in this government that when someone does it Rishi Sunak wants an inquiry to find out how it could have happened.
— Ray Monk (@Raymodraco) April 10, 2022
The first time a sitting PM has been fined for breaking the law. That's quite something.
— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) April 12, 2022
Lest we forget: the PM and CX knew they’d broken the law. They just hoped they’d get away with it.
— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) April 12, 2022
Resign, get rid of them, be gone.
The timing of that impromptu visit to Ukraine now makes a lot more sense.
— Jojo Moyes (@jojomoyes) April 12, 2022
Remember Allegra Stratton? PM accepted her resignation because she’d laughed awkwardly about a party she wasn’t at.
— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) April 12, 2022
Kenny Shiels talking foolishness! Talking about emotional women ! Didn’t that man see how many times I was crying on the PITCH! kmt pic.twitter.com/gTKIpd3fV3
— Ian Wright (@IanWright0) April 13, 2022
I don’t do politics. I don’t care if you are Labour, Tory or other. Everyone has a right to vote for who they want. However we also have a right to refuse to be led by liars and criminals. They are mugging all of us off regardless of our politics.
— Rob Beckett (@robbeckettcomic) April 13, 2022
This seems so thoughtless and uncaring that I suspected it might have been photoshopped to make her into a pantomime villain. So I went to have a look at EC's timeline to check. My word, it's real. https://t.co/sfNBC7wkso
— Dave Gorman (@DaveGorman) April 13, 2022
STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND WATCH THIS MOMENT FROM THE ONE SHOW pic.twitter.com/UwRFpQ8YpM
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) April 13, 2022
Just been pulled over by the police for doing 120 mph on the M3. I explained I had only been speeding for 9 mins and didn’t really twig that it was a motorway or that I was actually in my car. Fortunately he let me off as he knew I was doing a good job overall.
— Andy 🇺🇦 (@andyjh1965) April 13, 2022
Ofboris pic.twitter.com/YZsmbdMdbD
— emma jacobs (@emmavj) April 13, 2022
What’s your quadrant order when brushing teeth, or does it vary?
— Tom Hopgood 🇺🇦🇾🇪🇸🇾🇦🇫etc (@tomhopgood) April 13, 2022
I’m always bottom left, bottom right, top right, top left. Can’t do it any other way.
A reminder of one of the most beautiful etymologies out there: the 'pupil' of the eye is named after the Latin 'pupilla', little doll' – because when we look into the eyes of another, we see a tiny, doll-like reflection of ourselves.
— Susie Dent (@susie_dent) April 14, 2022
Putting an extra S on the end of an athletic event can sometimes create a new word.
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) April 15, 2022
Discuss
This is literally how I enter the dance floor https://t.co/Y9HSvIGimN
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) April 15, 2022
Incredible x-axis here. pic.twitter.com/AAxt2uro16
— Ben Stanley (@BDStanley) April 14, 2022
the great thing about Couch To 5 Metres is it takes me straight to the fridge
— Matt Lucas (@RealMattLucas) April 15, 2022
No quote you’ll read on social media today, no priest, prophet or poet, can match what is etched on the sacred page.
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) April 15, 2022
Matthew 27
Mark 15
Luke 23
John 19
Pick 1 of them, 2, 3 or all 4. But take the time. No one can tell you the story like the Holy Spirit whose breath became ink.
It’s really becoming increasingly difficult to be proud to be British, isn’t it?
— Adam Kay (@amateuradam) April 15, 2022
Just caught @eddiemarsan talking his cue from Dan Stevens on This Morning #JohnsonOut81 #Partygate #oneruleforthem #ThisMorning pic.twitter.com/CffLFps4rz
— David Woolf (@theewhitedove) April 15, 2022
Duolingo watching me do the wordle every day pic.twitter.com/GyGpDZcFkl
— Lauren Scharf (@LLcoolscharf) January 20, 2022
If daylight savings time is ended or made permanent it’s going to be weird explaining to young folks how, for our entire lives, we occasionally played musical chairs with time.
— Mortellus (@acrowandthedead) April 7, 2022
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?