ineke.co.uk

And he bearing his cross went forth into a place called the place of a skull, which is called in the Hebrew Golgotha pic.twitter.com/0nrouTyhLN

— Phineas (@Phineas) April 14, 2017

Always disappointed that Easter Eggs are hollow.

— Dave (@davechannel) April 16, 2017

Who wore it better? pic.twitter.com/hj5cRtSe4Z

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) April 16, 2017

Poached eggs for breakfast this morning! I've realised that saying 'poached' is so much classier than saying 'shoplifted'.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) April 16, 2017

ENTER PASSWORD.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

RESET PASSWORD.

NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.

sets fire to computer

— Joey Ellis (@joeyellis) August 17, 2015

Just had 'mansplaining' mansplained to me.

— Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی (@ShappiKhorsandi) April 15, 2017

Nothing prepared me for pregnancy – apart from the never-ending hangover of my 20s https://t.co/vmCPbKhzC7

— Guardian news (@guardiannews) April 16, 2017

Pixar Easter eggs have hatched! 🐣 pic.twitter.com/lIJyGNKQO8

— Pixar (@Pixar) April 16, 2017

"Let them tweet cake."

– Marie Internette

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) April 16, 2017

No-one has ever been convinced about anything by a tweet. Except for something they already agreed with.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) April 18, 2017

#recap The box that gets less fun the older you gethttps://t.co/nhA4ARud2v pic.twitter.com/vvhPPr3had

— The Poke (@ThePoke) April 17, 2017

Us – We only create wax figures of Prime Minsters elected in a #GeneralElection
Theresa May – pic.twitter.com/UR1k32sMJg

— Madame Tussauds London (@MadameTussauds) April 18, 2017

#GeneralElection Summary:

APRIL
May: "June"

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) April 18, 2017

Theresa May calls snap election on June 8th. You know what that means #DogsAtPollingStations pic.twitter.com/IDtWDXjVPe

— innocent drinks (@innocent) April 18, 2017

Let's save some money and I'll just run a 'World Cup Of Political Parties' on Twitter.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) April 18, 2017

My sympathies to all the political journalists who are about to discover the deposit on their Summer holidays is non-refundable.

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) April 18, 2017

On balance I'm thinking chaos with Ed Miliband might have been the simpler option pic.twitter.com/YswRZFSB0y

— Alan White (@aljwhite) April 18, 2017

In Slovakia, using the names Britain or Great Britain instead of the United Kingdom can land you with a €6,600 fine.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) April 22, 2017

What do you mean this weekend is only two days long?!

— Dave (@davechannel) April 22, 2017

Proof that the Teletubbies and The Lord of the Rings are the samehttps://t.co/Xng600Fv2A pic.twitter.com/I0eZh27X1j

— The Poke (@ThePoke) April 21, 2017

I am announcing that i WON'T be playing up front for Spurs on Saturday vs Chelsea at Wembley. Despite thinking I'd easily score a hat-trick. https://t.co/Yk1l7uC7GK

— David Lammy (@DavidLammy) April 21, 2017

To raise awareness of mental health, our post boxes along the marathon route will be decorated with headbands for @heads_together #oktosay pic.twitter.com/ceR72xqo9J

— Royal Mail Stamps (@RoyalMailStamps) April 20, 2017

I don't understand. I've done some devastating anti-Tory tweets the last few days. Pollsters must have got it wrong. https://t.co/VdthKORUF6

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) April 22, 2017

Theresa May's choice sounds vaguely familiar. I wish I could remember why… pic.twitter.com/JESPCjfay6

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) April 20, 2017

Congratulations to Serena Williams for winning the singles and doubles at the Australian Open.

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) April 19, 2017

Not the first to say it, but definitely the most succinct. It's our letter of the day! https://t.co/ebUWNJKbli pic.twitter.com/kQE85cGt2D

— The Poke (@ThePoke) April 19, 2017

Feels like Tuesday. But it's actually Wednesday. Together we have defeated time. Next we'll take on space to complete the continuum.

— innocent drinks (@innocent) April 19, 2017

Still, on the bright side, I've barely thought about Trump and the impending nuclear apocalypse at all today. #GeneralElection

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) April 18, 2017

It's the word “left” that makes this caption

(via @miketrow66, @CNBC) pic.twitter.com/rllkuaVZAA

— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) April 18, 2017

Britain right now. #GeneralElection pic.twitter.com/XagLnJt3XF

— Jono Read (@jonoread) April 18, 2017