Several years ago I worked through the box set of Roald Dahl’s children’s books, and had the best time! Last week I was at a book sale where I found a copy of Revolting Rhymes, which I’d never read, and looked a lot of fun – turns out it was!
The book contains Dahl’s takes on Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Little Red Riding Hood, and the Three Little Pigs. But none of them are quite as you remember them, they have twists, generally much darker, that mean the stories all have different endings to normal, be it beheadings, guns, or becoming as rich as they like, it’s all in rhyme as you’d expect from the title, and a lot of fun!
There’d been a few people online saying people shouldn’t do April Fools this year due to the state of the world, but I’d argue that that’s exactly why we need it, something fun and creative to lift our spirits, and I’m pleased to report, there’s some good stuff out there this year, numbers don’t seem to have reduced at all.
The last couple of days have had so many brands having a laugh at the expense of the great KitKat robbery, (both in the comments on that post, and in their own posts, which have been very enjoyable, but not April fools as such! I’ve had to skirt around a lot of them this morning!
It does feel more and more that there are 2 tiers of these posts these days, those that have put in real thought and come up with something clever and innovative, and those who’ve just launched a new flavour of something. I’ve put it all in this year, but I do thing unless it’s something clever about the new range of perfumes/candles/icecreams, next year they might get omitted, cos this list is LONGGG…
Also, it’s worth pointing out these aren’t in any particular order, just how I stumbled across them, so the quality is mixed throughout, some real gems scattered all the way through.
As per usual, I’m sure I’ll discover more stuff after midday as there’s just too much to cover in 3 hours (and they have flown this morning!), so I’ll post updates at the bottom later if that’s the case.
As has become traditional, there’s a short note under each post incase they delete them later… happy reading 😊
RyanAir actually went early and posted last night that their social media communications were going to become more corporate and professional.
Just what the Dr ordered…we present to you our GIANT DARLIC BREAD Tear 'n' Share! 👽🛸
It may look like it's landed from another world, but one bite in and you'll realise it's been engineered for maximum flavour…available in-store & online from 1st April 🏃 pic.twitter.com/Siqk91SwZH
Muller and Kingsmill collaborate on Crusty Corners…
I’m delighted to announce that this morning I have joined Reform UK. Nigel Farage is a principled politician, and his team are ready for government. pic.twitter.com/buCD3wITPl
Scalextric has today confirmed its involvement in the rollout of Guided Motorway Infrastructure across the UK.
Vehicles will follow fixed lanes using underbody guides, with drivers controlling speed through throttle input. The aim is to improve traffic flow, reduce congestion… pic.twitter.com/1ujgXbTRDx
omg the audience's reaction when Conan made this joke during his Oscars opening monologue
"It's the first time since 2012 that there are no British actors nominated for Best Actor or Best Actress. A British spokesperson said, 'Yeah, well, at least we arrest our pedophiles.'" pic.twitter.com/A2rB49JNLy
In 2021, after 6 years of shopping at my local Sainsbury’s and tracking where I parked each time on a spreadsheet, I completed all 211 parking spots the store had to offer. In 2024 I moved to a new town – and guess what I’ve been busy doing since 🙂 A thread 🧵
As part of my Harry Baker binge last year, I went to see one of his Christmas shows in Leeds, at which Erin performed. She shared some of her Worry Doll poems, which were just so so funny, I had to buy her book as it contained nine of them!
As far as the rest of the book went, it was more what I think of when I think of poetry, that is, a bit too clever for me. There were a few I enjoyed, but really I just loved the Worry Doll ones, and it was worth it for them alone.
I enjoyed ‘River’, which pointed out we’ll have a picnic on the side of a river but not a motorway, nor will we get a round trip in a taxi for fun.
The Worry Doll poems cover all sorts of things, from what to wear to the doctors, to how much effort to put into your appearance for the postman, but my favourite was Worry Doll II, on the theme of feminine hygiene and the environment!
I’m never sure if it’s ok to re-type out a whole poem, below I’ve typed out the first half, but very happy to remove if requested.
Worry Doll II I worry about my effects on the environment. I decide to stop using tampons and pads. I Google menstruation cups. That’s a minefield. There are different sizes. And shapes. I don’t know what size or shape my vagina is. I’ve never really seen it that way; no one has ever told me. It appears important to know how high your cervix is. I’m not entirely positive I’m 100% sure which bit the cervix is. I worry I don’t know enough about my vagina. I worry my lack of knowledge about my vagina is impacting negatively on the environment. […]
Elizabeth I never marrying or having kids is the least mysterious things about her yet historians are like “Was she too ugly? Infertile? A control freak? Frigid?” Not a psychiatrist but your dad beheading your mum to marry 4 more women might make you question the institution.
What's so amazing about Jim Henson as a puppeteer is that he could literally be explaining that Kermit is made out of felt and ping pong balls and yet Kermit still feels alive the whole time he's doing it! pic.twitter.com/Lt109Cvr51
Several years ago I worked my way through John Green’s fiction writings, then more recently I was recommended his podcast and youtube channel, both run with his brother, also author, Hank Green. I’ve enjoyed their chatter, and when I heard about this book I thought it’d be an interesting read, very different from his other stuff.
Let’s start with a definition, the Anthropocene is a proposed term for the current era of Earth’s history. This book comes out of a podcast of the same title, and is a set of essays which are all fundamentally reviews of different things, as Green used to write book reviews for a living before he became an author.
Some chapters were more serious than others, I think I’d assumed the whole book would be a bit more tongue in cheek, which is maybe why I didn’t give it as high a rating as I expected to. I learnt about some really interesting things, such as the Lascaux cave paintings, and the Champion’s League final 2005. There were also chapters on Diet Dr Pepper, Scratch’n’Sniff stickers, and the world’s largest ball of paint.
My paperback edition had a couple of extra bonus essays at the back, one of which felt very much like it was repeating an earlier story he shared, but who knows if it was just something I’d recently heard elsewhere as it wasn’t personal to him!
Of course, there were quotes to repeat:
“Never predict the end of the world. You’re almost certain to be wrong, and if you’re right, no one will be around to congratulate you.”
“Humans are already an ecological catastrophe […] for many forms of life, humanity is the apocalypse.”
“It’s no coincidence that the scientific revolution in Britain coincided with the rise of British participation in the Atlantic slave trade and the growing wealth being extracted from colonies and enslaved labour.”
[Discussing how we can’t look directly at the sun] “In the Book of Exodus, God says, ‘You cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.’ No wonder that Christian writers have for centuries been punning on Jesus as being both Son and Sun.”
“Colour is a fiction of light.” – Tacita Dean
“What’s news isn’t primarily what is noteworthy or important, but what is new.”
“It’s been my experience that almost everything easy to mock turns out to be interesting if you pay closer attention.”
“Cholera continues to spread and kill not because we lack the tools to understand or treat the disease as we did two hundred years ago, but because each day, as a human community, we decide not to prioritize the health of people living in poverty. Like tuberculosis, malaria, and many other infectious diseases, cholera is only successful in the twenty-first century because the rich world doesn’t feel threatened by it. As Tina Rosenberg has written, “Probably the worst thing that ever happened to malaria in poor nations was its eradication in rich ones.”
“Even the most extraordinary genius can accomplish very little alone.”
“Almost everything turns out to be interesting if you pay the right kind of attention to it.”
ineke.co.uk 