ineke.co.uk

Alphabetti Spaghetti Bolognese is for people who like to mince their words.

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) August 19, 2018

There is a bookshop in Ohio that specializes in finding books you've forgotten the title of. They have about a 50% success rate finding the correct book given only a vague plot description or a description of the cover art.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 19, 2018

Looks like we need to brace ourselves for Farage to appear everywhere all the time on all channels now that he’s ended his break from politics during which he appeared everywhere all the time on all channels. pic.twitter.com/nZMRSyZlvE

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) August 18, 2018

The Welsh place name of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch is actually a Victorian PR stunt: it was invented in the 1860s to attract tourists to Llanfairpwllgwyngyll.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 19, 2018

The rule is 'i' before 'e' except after 'c' when the word makes the "ee" sound:
believe, relief, chief
receive, receipt, deceit

It doesn't apply to other sounds.

'eigh' makes the "ay" sound:
neigh, neighbour, eight, weight.

They're not exceptions. It's a different rule.

— Nick (@Nick_SE6) August 19, 2018

This year's winner of the Dave Joke of the Fringe is @adamrowecomedy! #JokeOfTheFringe pic.twitter.com/byAnuWQHsZ

— Dave (@davechannel) August 20, 2018

Here's a playlist put together by NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, made up entirely of songs that you can perform CPR to. https://t.co/fozK7YxM0L

— No Such Thing As A Fish (@nosuchthing) August 20, 2018

When you're dead set on booking the Red Arrows for your first Breakfast Show… but you can't afford the planes 🙃✈️ pic.twitter.com/GKeYWV7pmg

— BBC Radio 1 (@BBCR1) August 20, 2018

In 1994, a Tel Aviv advertising agency designed a campaign aimed at improving the city's notoriously bad drivers. The slogan? "Research proves aggressive drivers have small penises."

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 20, 2018

Bodger and Badger's latest adventure sees them running the Lowestoft branch of Argos. pic.twitter.com/ADCAP5ZBNR

— Aaron (@AaronBoardley) August 20, 2018

On Sesame Street born and raised… Check out the story of how your favorite dynamic duo became Bert & Ernie! #FreshPrinceOfBelAir pic.twitter.com/d5JaQKHFf6

— Sesame Street (@sesamestreet) August 20, 2018

A farmer has 38 sheep which he tells his collie dog to collect into a pen. When they are all inside the farmer counts them. 'There's 40 sheep here,' he says to the collie who replies, 'I know, I rounded them up.'

— Hilary McKay (@hilary_mckay) August 10, 2018

On Sunday, you’ll remember we moved this huge beast, measuring 71 mts long, 6.4 mts wide and weighing 350 tonnes.

We were stationary outside a house – woman leant out the window to see what was going on – couldn’t resist asking her if she’d ordered a transformer from EBay! 😂 pic.twitter.com/GquYOoiWBa

— Roads Policing – Surrey Police – UK (@SurreyRoadCops) August 20, 2018

Say hello to the #Strictly class of 2018! 👋✨
Meet our fabulous 15: https://t.co/SUvuhlm6fE pic.twitter.com/xgQnshXomS

— BBC Strictly ✨ (@bbcstrictly) August 21, 2018

All right, look. I'm a library director. I'm also a millennial.

Vendors, PLEASE stop sending me pitches where you offer to explain millennials to managers.

WE. ARE. NOT. TWELVE.

WE. ARE. THE. MANAGERS.

— Marcela (@marcelaphane) August 20, 2018

the gilmore girls revival but it's just a cookery show presented by luke and he gets progressively more angry at his kitchen appliances throughout

— Gilmore Girls revival but… (@ggrevivalbut) August 21, 2018

i just woke up. from my early afternoon snoozle. which means we’re not far away. from the midafternoon snoozle. but i may have to reschedule. the pre-evening snoozle. i’m just too busy

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 22, 2018

Government releases advice for no-deal Brexit: pic.twitter.com/VIl7mygsxc

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) August 23, 2018

At the risk of this becoming extremely heated… is anyone else feeling politically homeless with absolutely no party representing them?

I can’t be alone in this, surely.

You don’t have to give reasons or comments but… maybe RT this if you feel the same way.

— Dr. Jessica Taylor (@DrJessTaylor) August 22, 2018

Here are some people who never got any GCSEs:
Charles Darwin
Albert Einstein
Elizabeth I
Ada Lovelace
Leonardo Da Vinci
Florence Nightingale
Beyonce
Santa Claus
Batman #GCSEResultsDay2018

— innocent drinks (@innocent) August 23, 2018

Good luck to everyone getting their GCSE results today.

Remember, no grown ups understand the new numerical grades so just say "they're basically C's" and you'll be fine. #GCSEResultsDay2018

— innocent drinks (@innocent) August 23, 2018

This is just what it sounds like… pic.twitter.com/01r3b5fSo8

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) August 23, 2018

It's funny because I had to check if this was a parody account or the real one. Still not sure really 😉

— Oli (@olitheblog) August 22, 2018

Things Brexiters say will cause social unrest:

* a democratic vote for Remain.

Things Brexiters say won't cause social unrest:

* food shortages
* job losses
* medicine shortages
* declining real incomes
* forced cuts to public services
* greater risk of terror attacks

— Jo Maugham (@JolyonMaugham) August 22, 2018