ineke.co.uk

This, however, is genius. @johnlewisretail has teamed up with @QualityStreetUK. For £12 you can pick and mix your own 1.2kg tin, and chose which sweets. Hate the strawberry cream? You can ditch it. Want loads of purple ones? No prob pic.twitter.com/Wa48rnuFtc

— Harry Wallop (@hwallop) July 12, 2018

Amen!#churchsigns pic.twitter.com/Q4dtxnq4xQ

— David Crowder (@crowdermusic) September 16, 2018

*to the tune of Destiny's Child's "Say My Name"*

SPELL MY NAME, SPELL MY NAME
IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE EMAIL
IT'S NOT A HIDDEN DETAIL
THE SPELLING DOESN'T CHANGE

— Crypti-Calli (@Iwillleavenow) September 14, 2018

There are two types of emoji-users in this world. Are you a @MayaJama ❤️ or an @Alicelevine 🙄? #TheCircle pic.twitter.com/pqn9GdjYxB

— The Circle (@C4TheCircle) September 16, 2018

This is a cautionary allegory about machine learning. https://t.co/8jNhSRg5YW

— Kyle Byers (@Kyle_Byers) September 15, 2018

I went down to Salisbury
To listen to the choir,
A pair of Russian tourists
They were staring up the spire,
Staring up the spire, they were,
Silent and aghast,
Against the sky, hurtling by,
A piggy flying past.

— Pam Ayres MBE (@PamAyres) September 15, 2018

YOU LITERALLY HAVE SMALL PRINT ON YOUR AD pic.twitter.com/3bcg5MH5Gp

— Alex Bell (@alexbell) September 17, 2018

Poor Katie Hopkins.

Not sympathy, just an assessment of her finances now.

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) September 17, 2018

Oh dear, Katie 'IVA' Hopkins, this tweet hasn't aged well https://t.co/GYKP1nNTVC

— Siob, Princess of Yorkshire #FBPE #FBR (@Sillyshib) September 15, 2018

Passed my favourite road sign yesterday. pic.twitter.com/QJPbVF3Pzo

— Janet Fielding (@jfmouthonlegs) September 16, 2018

Me: Do you have the Harry Potter audiobook?
DJ: no

— Jon (@ArfMeasures) September 17, 2018

NICE THINGS ABOUT TUESDAY
1. Bake Off
2. Monday is six whole days away
3. Craig David is statistically more likely to take you for a drink

— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 18, 2018

I think it's time for all the Catherines, Catharines, Katherines, Katharines, Kathryns and Cathryns to get together and vote on how they want their name spelt, because it's getting very confusing.

— Paul Kerensa (@paulkerensa) September 18, 2018

Imagine being so racist that Nigel Farage tells you to tone it down a bit https://t.co/0eS1uyTrHV

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 17, 2018

Jon helping Ruby is the perfect example of why Bake Off is the best show on TV. Excellent humans, the lot of them. #GBBO

— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 18, 2018

First meringue, now blancmange

Welcome to "Things that are horrible to spell week"#GBBO

— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 18, 2018

The fact that Kylie Jenner is trending because she ate cereal with milk for the first time is mind blowing. What in the world??? 👀🤯

— Mella Is Money 🤑 (@CarmellaWWE) September 19, 2018

Twitter 2009.

I like apples.
I like pears.
That’s cool.
Yeah.

Twitter 2018.

I like apples.
So you’re anti pears then.
No, I just prefer apples.
So you hate pears.
I never said that.
Fucking pear hater.
I don’t hate pears!
Yes you do. You make me sick. Scum.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) September 13, 2018

Not such a bargain @WHSmith #YouHadOneJob pic.twitter.com/WU2nvvA6Pn

— Gavin Sherriff (@gavws5) September 20, 2018

Do you need an Alexa or a Parrot? pic.twitter.com/2z3IA5LJAB

— Dave (@davechannel) September 20, 2018

My first ever meeting with @antanddec pic.twitter.com/6c5uCyYmzi

— David Walliams HQ (@davidwalliams) September 20, 2018