ineke.co.uk

Two year 11s just rock up at church this morning- just to see what it’s all about. Why is it that when the stuff we pray for actually happens, we’re slightly incredulous?! I’m so glad God’s power isn’t dependent on my faith…

— Martin Saunders (@martinsaunders) October 14, 2018

HER LITTLE FACE WHEN SHE REALISES THE TARDIS HAS A CUSTARD CREAM DISPENSER AND SHE CAN EAT THEM WHENEVER SHE WANTS. I LOVE HER SO MUCH. S O M U C H. #doctorwho pic.twitter.com/ivJN1QH2qQ

— em (@jareauswho) October 14, 2018

Since I see the Republican painting in my timeline. Here is the Democrat and the Republican paintings together. Both were painted by the talented Andy Thomas

CC: @Asher_Wolf pic.twitter.com/dr3RA6Rx6k

— Steve Ragan ⚠️ (@SteveD3) October 15, 2018

Just came out of a @Youthscape board meeting to see the football score and now I can’t work out if the whole Internet is playing a trick on me…

— Martin Saunders (@martinsaunders) October 15, 2018

If you're asked to "put your hands up" and have trouble identifying the situation … pic.twitter.com/YyFugtpcM6

— Terrible Maps (@TerribleMaps) October 15, 2018

For the last 24 hours I’ve had a half-formed idea in my head that won’t come out into the open and reveal how it fits into the Fantastic Beasts story, even though it’s clearly important. I need a Pensieve. Or Google, but for my subconscious.

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) October 16, 2018

oh my god @BBCSimonMcCoy just announced that Pippa Middleton had given birth and it was PEAK SIMON MCCOY pic.twitter.com/1LSotCJpQV

— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) October 16, 2018

Just heard about a guy who died in my village + left 3 houses to the council, with the stipulation that they’re for young families to rent for a fixed period of 3yrs with rent of £300 pcm (in an area where rent is £1000+). Because we all need to talk more about the good humans.

— Holly Dawson (@hollyjdawson) October 15, 2018

In just over 2 years Harry and Meghan have met, fallen in love, moved her entire life to London, had a royal wedding, and got pregnant.

I still haven't rehung the towel rail that fell off the wall in 2014.

— Laura (@fairycakes) October 15, 2018

ABSOLUTE CARNAGE. SHEILD YOUR EYES! pic.twitter.com/0dZus7PBFt

— Robert Maguire (@RobertMaguire_) October 15, 2018

In a show of solidarity for their fallen comrade, the bakers are wearing Jon shirts. Think we’ve got something in our eye… 😢#GBBO pic.twitter.com/btM3qzNmG0

— Channel 4 (@Channel4) October 16, 2018

It’s been an emotional night. #DanishWeek #GBBO pic.twitter.com/j9MZ2DINZJ

— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 16, 2018

Did anyone else feel the ground shake as the whole of the UK shrieked MANON?!? at the television #GBBO

— Vicky Chandler (@VickyChandler) October 16, 2018

To be honest, Twitter, I’m fairly certain that people in Britain are talking about a different Rahul and Manon. #GBBO⁠ ⁠ pic.twitter.com/LdO5qMIrYz

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) October 16, 2018

#GBBO wrong baker sent home, rahul was last in EVERY challenge yet somehow manon goes home?? @PaulHollywood @PrueLeith EXPLAIN

— imms ✨ (@immimundayy) October 16, 2018

Hey everyone. I don’t want to plunge us into a constitutional crisis, but I’ve just discovered that the Chinese have exactly the same word for ‘Leave’ and ‘Remain’. pic.twitter.com/2r8oa5sZjb

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) October 17, 2018

Man who bangs on about respecting democracy and the will of the people frightened of democratic vote because he knows the will of the people has changed. https://t.co/3QRegZzNua

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) October 18, 2018

Two Benylin cold & flu packs, in the chemist just now. One for mucus coughs, one chesty. Yet look just above the barcode and both say PL (product licence) 12063/0112 meaning they're IDENTICAL tablets (not just same active ingredient).

PS and, yes, I always buy generic anyway pic.twitter.com/ebHHQfnalV

— Martin Lewis (@MartinSLewis) October 18, 2018

If the books of the Bible were gifs….

(Part 1: Genesis – Hosea)

— Zack Hunt (@ZaackHunt) October 17, 2018

3157 AD: Theresa May and Dominic Raab arrive in Brussels for latest round of Irish backstop discussions. pic.twitter.com/QJuaWACtZV

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) October 18, 2018

James Bond would never carry his baby in a papoose because James Bond has never spoken to the hundreds of children he has fathered from decades of unprotected sex and has cowardly escaped his responsibility to care for them using MI6 resources and face-altering surgery

— Ken Cheng twitch.tv/kenchengcomedy (@kenchengcomedy) October 17, 2018

Get your vaccinations. 👇🏻 pic.twitter.com/rRYnl6me8o

— Kimberly Ross (@SouthernKeeks) October 18, 2018

Actually Coke Zero and Diet Coke are not same.

Diet Coke is totally separate recipe designed on earlier sweeteners.

As they improved, they launched Coke Zero, which is Coca-cola recipe with sweetener replacing sugar (and is sweeter)

(I'm a cola nerd) https://t.co/TVk9ip8Fgl

— Martin Lewis (@MartinSLewis) October 19, 2018

If you don't smile at the noise the otter makes when chomping down, you're not human. Or otter. https://t.co/u4mco6HFv3

— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) October 19, 2018

My timeline is intriguingly divided between people disappointed with Nick Clegg for going to work for Facebook and people disappointed with Facebook for hiring Nick Clegg.

— Hugo Rifkind (@hugorifkind) October 19, 2018

@robbeckettcomic Google really is impressive pic.twitter.com/FfyLVu95Lq

— Ryan (@RyanAstonn) October 19, 2018

There were no reported shootings in New York last weekend, for the first time since 1993.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) October 20, 2018

Rotary screen printing. pic.twitter.com/p744NG0oKc

— MachinePix (@MachinePix) October 19, 2018

If the vote had gone Remain’s way, we’d already be deep into a wave of campaigning for a second referendum from the Leavers. They would not have accepted a result that close, and with so much misinformation, and nor should we. Amazing to see so many at the #PeopesVoteMarch today.

— Martin Saunders (@martinsaunders) October 20, 2018