ineke.co.uk

Wouldn’t it be AWESOME for 2020 if @RebekahVardy & @ColeenRoo – both strong, determined women – denied the lawyers/press/social media masses (me included) the court case & instead said “thanks but we’re gonna sort it over a nice sauv blanc” & donate the £££££ saved to a food bank

— sara cox💙 (@sarajcox) November 21, 2020

A little treat for fans of #TheCrown!

Bad TV Impressions: The Crown Season 4#TheCrownSeason4 #impressions #comedy pic.twitter.com/ZLd0rWWTob

— Kieran Hodgson (@KieranCHodgson) November 20, 2020

Bloke I went to school with, on Facebook, is saying he’ll never take a vaccine because he “doesn’t know what’s in it”, which is a bit weird because I distinctly remember him putting a tab of LSD under his eyelid in R.E. once.

— Scott Balcony (@scottbalcony) November 21, 2020

I don’t know why Boris Johnson is going to make rules regarding Christmas. No matter what he says, decent people will do the right thing and not see their families, even though they want to, and the not decent people will do as they’ve done all along, whatever the fuck they want.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) November 22, 2020

You can use the Fibonacci sequence to convert (roughly) from miles to km.

If one number in the sequence is the number of miles, the next number is approximately the number of km.

For instance, 3 miles is about 5 km. 5 miles is about 8 km, and 8 miles is about 15 km.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) November 22, 2020

Better empty chairs for this Xmas than empty chairs for all Xmases.

— Reephambird 🌪 (@reephambird) November 22, 2020

I’m imagining all four journalists sat at the same typewriter typing up this story about bin day pic.twitter.com/bexw2JDkJx

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 22, 2020

I don’t know how your Sunday‘s gone, but I’ve spent mine making football shirts for every UK supermarket (a thread):

— Joe Parton (@joekparton) November 22, 2020

Huh I’m starting to think those weren’t IT lessons pic.twitter.com/dFu9gXHt3T

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 23, 2020

'Squeeze the disease'

'Tis the season to be jolly…but also the season to be jolly careful'

I think he's auditioning a new scriptwriter#Dailybriefing pic.twitter.com/9PG4cQoazT

— Adrian Gosling (@digitalsunshine) November 23, 2020

Current conversation in Knox household. Fantasy prayer triplet.

Dani: Catherine Zeta Jones & Her Majesty The Queen.

Me: Barack Obama & Michael McIntyre.

Anyone else?

— Phil Knox (@philknox) November 22, 2020

Shouldn’t that be ‘toads in the hole’? 🤔 pic.twitter.com/8EDw7Cqwjq

— Bryan Roberts (@BryanRoberts72) November 23, 2020

The fact that the main plan to distribute the vaccine isn't just giving Santa a blowgun with vaccine darts and getting it all done in one night is ridiculous.

— Dave (@davechannel) November 23, 2020

The thing that thrills me most about the #OxfordVaccine is that its transportability and low cost (thanks to the UK Gov’s funding and AstraZeneca’s agreement with Oxford University) means this will be a vaccine for the developing world, not just rich countries.

— Sheridan Voysey (@sheridanvoysey) November 23, 2020

'What did I tell you to do?'
'Maintain a statesmanlike tone so people understand the gravity of the situation.'
'And what did you do?'
'I said "'Tis the Season to be jolly careful."' pic.twitter.com/izS0tGWuib

— The Poke (@ThePoke) November 24, 2020

I'm guessing the Oxford vaccine is only 70% effective because no-one knows how to use it correctly

— Chris PG/𝙋𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙂𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙘𝙝 (@_Papaglitch_) November 23, 2020

Pfizer vaccine: effective, protective and safe
Modena vaccine: effective, protective and safe
Oxford vaccine: effective, protective, and safe

— Ivo Graham (@IvoGraham) November 23, 2020

Cringing a bit every time you write a jaunty little “socially distanced, of course!” disclaimer in an email.

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) November 22, 2020

Trump pardons turkey.
“He was really strange looking and made a lot of unnecessary noise,” said the turkey. pic.twitter.com/uEqQ3o1Yoj

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) November 24, 2020

petition to get @jordannorth1 to perform All That Jazz in the Live Lounge on his return starts now #ImACeleb

— nick grimshaw (@grimmers) November 24, 2020

We aren't supposed to tweet about shows from other channels but for reasons we are rooting for Dave #GBBO

— Dave (@davechannel) November 24, 2020

Pythagorean Theorem Day is a holiday that is celebrated when the sum of the squares of the first two parts of the date equals the square of the last part. The last Pythagorean Theorem Day was August 15, 2017 (15² + 8² = 17²), the next will be December 16, 2020 (16² + 12² = 20²).

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) November 25, 2020

Congratulations to everyone who voted for a government that spends billions on failed apps, the military and plucky upstart rat poisoning companies who fancy giving PPE a crack but thinks spending 0.7 percent of GDP on foreign aid is a massive insurmountable problem

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 25, 2020

Bake Off could have easily skipped this year…

..but they didn't. Instead the production team, catering, hotel staff and the cast self-isolated for a week and then bubbled *for weeks* so that the show could air.

A huge commitment, for a show we really needed #GBBO pic.twitter.com/W3KF2HABOP

— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) November 24, 2020

But isn't the *whole point* of tying aid to a % of GDP that you don't *need* to cut it when GDP drops, on account of the way it so very obviously cuts itself?

— Hugo Rifkind (@hugorifkind) November 25, 2020

Delighted to be a Dad in an age where turning-the-lights-off-in-rooms-nobody's-in counts as being environmentally friendly and not just tight like it used to be.

— Dave Gorman (@DaveGorman) November 25, 2020

Today is Thanksgiving in the USA. Sadly, rather than importing this festival about thankfulness, we've chosen to only import Black Friday – where everyone goes consumerism crazy.

— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) November 26, 2020

"Would I encourage someone to hug and kiss their elderly relative? No, I would not"

Prof Chris Whitty says "people just have to have sense" over the festive period, before adding that he will be spending Christmas "on the wards"

Latest: https://t.co/QOe5zzzO4N pic.twitter.com/Dk6wQau8ul

— BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) November 26, 2020

WEATHER UPDATE: pic.twitter.com/mIXxA8Mmqq

— innocent drinks (@innocent) November 27, 2020

Save huge amounts of money on #BlackFriday simply by not bloody buying anything.

— The Poke (@ThePoke) November 27, 2020

pic.twitter.com/xtjZCALd9u

— Mark Preston (@markup3210) November 26, 2020

A reminder that @CMO_England Professor Chris Whitty is a practising doctor who – unlike the online army of self-appointed epidemiologists, virologists & public health ‘experts’ – actually sees and treats patients on his infectious diseases ward. https://t.co/CBhAMCdNGo

— Dr Rachel Clarke (@doctor_oxford) November 27, 2020

The Christmas lights switch-on we all need in 2020 🤣 🤣

Timing is everything for @TownBridgwater, @Townmayor and @thetoptory 🎄 ✨ pic.twitter.com/CrvUzZmZXm

— BBC Somerset (@bbcsomerset) November 27, 2020

The average person farts 15-25 times per day.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) November 28, 2020

Longest possible road-walk pic.twitter.com/6AZegIhTkL

— Mat Osman (@matosman) November 27, 2020

I Marie Kondo’d so much of my wardrobe last year. And I’m here to tell you… I miss every piece of clothing. I think about them all the time. Don’t believe her. She is a chaos agent.

— Chris Schleicher (@cschleichsrun) November 27, 2020

The first rule of Cliff Richard Club is we don’t talk anymore

— Sam (@sam_bambs) November 27, 2020

Spotted in south London this afternoon… pic.twitter.com/0C50fOGuof

— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) November 28, 2020

If we get a full set of 52 Sunday services done, can we just reupload them next year and have 2021 off? Asking for a friend.

— Robb Sutherland (@changingworship) November 27, 2020