ineke.co.uk

I would pay another penny in tax to ensure NHS staff get fairly paid, and to ensure we continue to have a functioning health service, though I'd rather see it paid for by super taxes on the covid super profiteers.

— Patrick Grant (@paddygrant) March 6, 2021

Have managed to go down with some rotten fever that testing today revealed wasn’t COVID and now I feel like those people who got hit by taxis on VE Day.

— Fergus Butler-Gallie (@_F_B_G_) March 6, 2021

If we hadn’t wasted £200bn on Brexit we would be able to nearly TRIPLE the whole NHS budget.

— Sustainable Energy Forum (@Eddystone506) March 6, 2021

I don't think the pastor got the hint. The song before the sermon was "Let My Words Be Few" and his weren't

— Anon Church Guy (@MrChurchGuy) March 7, 2021

I suppose Oprah’s “your truth” is the progressive cousin of “alternative facts”.

— Giles Fraser (@giles_fraser) March 7, 2021

We know we show the odd repeat but at least we are not at the 'Piers Morgan going on about Meghan again' level of repeating ourselves.

— U&Dave (@davechannel) March 8, 2021

I never met an oven chip that didn’t hugely underestimate its own cooking time.

— Will Duggan (@Willduggan) March 7, 2021

Shoe Zone has named Terry Boot as its next finance boss after predecessor Peter Foot walked away from the role https://t.co/uHiR7vc15t

— PA Media (@PA) March 8, 2021

💔 Night Trev. I love you. pic.twitter.com/17sXcpVDhI

— Dawn French 💙🔴🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦🇵🇸 (@Dawn_French) March 9, 2021

This photo from Myanmar of a nun pleading with police to spare the lives of protestors is extraordinary, an image to compare with the Tank Man in Tiananmen Square. pic.twitter.com/UpqM66SC6S

— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) March 10, 2021

We will ban the tooth fairy.
It is not acceptable to teach children that they can make money from selling body parts . #Manicfesto

— 📢 OfFiciAL MoNsTEr RaVinG LoONy PArTy 🎩 (@Official_MRLP) March 11, 2021

It's almost the weekend! Time to stop looking at the internet as a distraction from work and time to start looking at the internet as a distraction from everything else!

— U&Dave (@davechannel) March 12, 2021

I just cracked a maths thing I was working on (video to follow!). @Dr_Lucie put on the song Congratulations by Cliff Richard. I’m not British enough to know if she is being serious or I’m being made fun of.

— Matt Parker (@standupmaths) March 12, 2021

Cat uses sign language to alert her deaf owner that she'd like a treat. pic.twitter.com/eGEAfj0zCb

— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) March 12, 2021

Imagine having the balls of WH Smith. If you can charge £2.99 for a bag of Haribo with a straight face you can do anything.

— Fergus Butler-Gallie (@_F_B_G_) March 12, 2021

Good news @richardosman. Your mum can take her finger off the button pic.twitter.com/ScJAtiEZBt

— Jeremy Vine | Here, on Tiktok, Insta & Facebook (@theJeremyVine) March 13, 2021

me telling myself I’ll exercise during lockdown pic.twitter.com/NUHEu97Hpk

— ✨Elsie Lovelock✨ (@ElsieLovelock) March 1, 2021

"i acknowledge that i have read and agree to the above terms and conditions" pic.twitter.com/Ny0PLvQlZ3

— Maxou (@maxoupial) March 1, 2021

"i wont buy more books until i read the ones i already have" pic.twitter.com/zb0OJuTou8

— anto (@sladesaurens) February 27, 2021

The Duchess of Cambridge has paid her respects to Sarah Everard at Clapham Common bandstand pic.twitter.com/fOCDsV8SuR

— Thomas Newton (@SkyTNewton) March 13, 2021

Nobody did it better. I doubt they ever will… https://t.co/Ld1yl17KWZ

— Jake Humphrey (@mrjakehumphrey) March 13, 2021

UK media tomorrow trying to pretend today’s interview was offensive, when actually it was pretty dignified and protective over those who did the worst. pic.twitter.com/UG02qoDwoH

— ❤️ Jameela Jamil ❤️ She/Her ❤️ (@jameelajamil) March 8, 2021

Harry and Meghan’s escape from the limelight hits a small snag after they accidentally record a two-hour interview that will dominate the global news cycle until April.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) March 8, 2021

Shout out to the 5 people still watching Dave right now.

— U&Dave (@davechannel) March 8, 2021

RESEARCH – and I can’t stress this enough – YOUR HUSBAND.

— Katherine Ryan (@Kathbum) March 8, 2021

They should have done this interview in the Pizza Express in Woking and never referenced it.

— TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) (@TechnicallyRon) March 8, 2021

Humphrey Yogurt
has got to be the best name ever for a first workplace. #MeghanAndHarry

— Dr Krish Kandiah OBE (@krishk) March 8, 2021

stressed about the height of this coffee table. too low to eat off. just tall enough to accidentally kick your drink over whilst crossing your legs. useless for playing hide and seek. just a terrible table. pic.twitter.com/W93Fg0IZl2

— Laura (@fairycakes) March 8, 2021

pic.twitter.com/nUGiS1jR20

— Mind (@MindCharity) March 8, 2021

Piers Morgan’s attempt to single-handedly destroy ITV’s mental health campaign going well this morning.

— boydhilton (@boydhilton) March 9, 2021

Ahhh ok so he agrees it’s ok to remove yourself from a difficult situation…

— Vick Hope (@VickNHope) March 9, 2021

Dan Walker’s persistent patience and grace towards Piers Morgan is a thing of beauty… and it strengthens the power of his point at the end. https://t.co/3KPKIRv4oJ

— Tim Farron (@timfarron) March 9, 2021

Shame the words “good morning” are in that tweet 🤷‍♂️ https://t.co/cNZl7prJq4

— Matt Le Tissier ✝️ (@mattletiss7) March 9, 2021

More like Piers MorGONE am I right haha can’t wait for live comedy to come back xxx

— Maisie Adam (@MaisieAdam) March 9, 2021

If GMB want to go in a very different direction & employ John & I, on tomorrow’s show they could expect us to lead with Swansea’s draw at Blackburn, before ‘have you got a printer in the house?’ (8-8.30am), & then ‘have you ever seen a big celebrity in a small car? (8.30-9am)

— Elis James (@elisjames) March 9, 2021

Dear UK Media,

I hope you’ll make the right decision not to book Piers and his politics for a new show. This isn’t the moment to bag a “divisive figure”. It’s time to allow accountability, which means not rewarding a man who gleefully harasses women with a new platform.

Cheers

— Gina (@ginamartinuk) March 9, 2021

Once told a male mate I don’t listen to music when walking so I can hear anyone approaching and if walking alone at night I hold my keys in my hand to use as a weapon. I’ve just got used to doing this. His surprise made me realise these are probably things more women do than men.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) March 10, 2021

So, it's not all men. We know that. No woman thinks all men are violent. The problem is that we don't know which man will be, and the fear isnt hysteria. It's based on experience that some men will hurt, intimidate and attack us. The dangerous men don't wear signs. #SarahEverard

— Katharine W-R (@kwelbyroberts) March 11, 2021

It’s horribly telling that, so often, as soon as a woman realises you’re gay you can sense a reduction in hyper-vigilance. The threat level has fallen. I often find myself making my gayness very clear ASAP for this reason.
I don’t know if straight men realise the extent of this.

— Patrick Strudwick (@PatrickStrud) March 11, 2021

Since last year on this day, these are the women killed in the UK where a man has been convicted or charged as the primary perpetrator in the case. pic.twitter.com/CTaLOc0F5v

— Jess Phillips (@jessphillips) March 11, 2021

People in the crowd turn on their phone torches in Clapham Common, London, after the Reclaim These Streets vigil for Sarah Everard was officially cancelled.

📷Victoria Jones – see more at https://t.co/jR0m7riAHz#SarahEverard pic.twitter.com/gTwXUnzuRF

— Alamy Editorial (@Alamy_Editorial) March 13, 2021