On Sundays Evelyn’s naps tend to be longer.
— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) April 25, 2021
My daughter is only 9 months old, but she’s teaching me things already. #Sabbath
… and the wee donkey 🙌🏻👏🏻#LineofDuty
— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) April 25, 2021
Best line of the series 😎 pic.twitter.com/Vx3l0kfMtE
“No comment” is up there with “next slide please” 😳 #LineofDuty
— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) April 25, 2021
In physics, the rate of change of velocity is acceleration, the rate of change of acceleration is jerk, the rate of change of jerk is snap, the rate of change of snap is crackle, and the rate of change of crackle is pop.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) April 25, 2021
“Younger people urged to get something they haven’t been offered yet” https://t.co/KrlGN6kAwN
— The Poisonous Euros Atmosphere Fan (@DawnHFoster) April 25, 2021
Skills pic.twitter.com/K2tbC9Pv0A
— Gabriele Corno (@Gabriele_Corno) April 26, 2021
For the last six years I’ve kept a spreadsheet listing every parking spot I’ve used at the local supermarket in a bid to park in them all. This week I completed my Magnum Opus! A thread.
— Gareth Wild (@GarethWild) April 27, 2021
I can’t believe I am tweeting this.
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) April 27, 2021
Nigella Lawson calling a microwave a “micro-wav-ay” has today been nominated for BAFTA TV ‘Must-See’ Award. https://t.co/yA34hTIdJ8
Are the men asking this question? And if so, of whom? Women maybe? Or are the men being accused of something? And, again, by whom? And how did Stonehenge get involved? A lot to unpack in this thought-provoking ad. pic.twitter.com/zVBM6uSI6s
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) April 28, 2021
Time for an interiors refresh? 🛋✨We pride our Home Design Service on having something for *almost* everyone 👀 https://t.co/hbWsjU4sm1
— John Lewis & Partners (@JohnLewisRetail) April 28, 2021
Imagine being remembered as the prime minister who was trolled by… @JohnLewisRetail 🤭 https://t.co/HLZsv1IMyq
— Dr Rachel Clarke (@doctor_oxford) April 28, 2021
We all know Carrie has poor taste in men. So why has it come as such a shock that she also has no taste in interior design?#downingstreetflat #CarrieAntoinette https://t.co/0JtWgkbgD7
— Ian MrR (@iandavid_68) April 28, 2021
Spending quite a lot of life looking at people and thinking “please don’t talk to me”.
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) April 28, 2021
Not everyone was happy with today’s rain… pic.twitter.com/1ChHKlIoyY
— Monty Don (@TheMontyDon) April 28, 2021
Working on a tweet revolving around "I suppose you could say it's CURTAINS for Boris!" – should be with you around 3pm.
— Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) April 28, 2021
Is there any greater gift than a cancelled work Zoom meeting in the midst of a ridiculously over busy day?
— God loves women (@God_loves_women) April 28, 2021
Did a wasp write this? pic.twitter.com/Nu31bKmmcf
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 29, 2021
Least surprising news of the week is the report that Gordon Brown spent nothing on refurbishing the Downing Street flat during his tenure.
— Samantha Washington (@skynewsSam) April 28, 2021
Same energy pic.twitter.com/ZO3wpp5avl
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 28, 2021
I bet if I watched 'Game Of Thrones' I could do a good tweet about Jon Snow retiring from Channel 4 News.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) April 29, 2021
“Now say no comment to every question” #LineofDuty pic.twitter.com/0nh7m8SFCj
— Vic (@Victoria_Belk98) April 25, 2021
We only rate dogs. We don’t know why this person submitted pics of their rug, several years apart. Looks like a pretty good rug, though… 13/10 pic.twitter.com/dTWbG5G90I
— WeRateDogs (@dog_rates) April 29, 2021
I was there 3000 years ago, when Isildur took the Ring. I was there the day the strength of men failed pic.twitter.com/awLoWzE8y9
— Hannah Rose Woods (@hannahrosewoods) April 27, 2021
did you ever see him so angry about vulnerable children going hungry pic.twitter.com/9mZRzSwkie
— Toby Earle 🇺🇦 Threads tobyontv (@TobyonTV) April 28, 2021
Haven’t seen anyone this mad about decor since Changing Rooms pic.twitter.com/QzZ0IdqeQZ
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 29, 2021
We’ve made it to Eurovision month.
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) May 1, 2021
Well, ummm, I mean, a lot of stuff has happened since 1993 so you’re gonna need to be more specific. pic.twitter.com/pV2TxLrcdJ
— Lisa Jakub | Blue Mala (@Lisa_Jakub) April 30, 2021
That's a kayak, you only went in for bread? pic.twitter.com/IzAVjVAUW2
— Aldi Stores UK (@AldiUK) April 30, 2021
Respect to the barman for messing up Hancock’s 1st pint pic.twitter.com/qrvi8sQ5Qv
— Leroy Brito (@leroybrito) May 1, 2021
“Having a big clear out” – Translation: Moving a lot of things around until you get tired and cross.#BankHolidayWeekend
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) April 30, 2021
A magnificent triptych pic.twitter.com/cxRdV3XIDx
— Balderdash (@notDcfcBoss) April 30, 2021
I'm not saying I have an unhealthy lifestyle, but I've taken 267 steps today, and at least 150 of them were in the course of getting food.
— Oonagh (@Okeating) April 30, 2021
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?