ineke.co.uk

we ALREADY PAY for GP and A&E appointments. and operations and treatments and everything else. WE PAY TAX FOR THE NHS

— Heather Parry (@HeatherParryUK) January 21, 2023

I'm sorry, but you can't *always* be experiencing a higher volume of calls than average.

That's not how averages work.

— Kit Yates (@Kit_Yates_Maths) January 21, 2023

2 days ago I randomly bumped into the doctor who in 2017 told me “the good news is the problem you have in your hip can be fixed but you won’t be able to play professional sport again.” I think we dispelled that myth the last 5 days.😉Goodnight ❤️

— Andy Murray (@andy_murray) January 21, 2023

I think @Specsavers need to get to Specsavers. This is a train. pic.twitter.com/PLDRhvPkOg

— Kev (@londonkro) January 22, 2023

Alone and lost in the wilderness, this intrepid character had the wherewithal to construct a sturdy survival shelter. pic.twitter.com/jjCpKkCi62

— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) January 22, 2023

Me: Can I add points to this Tesco Clubcard app?
TESCO: Not without Face ID.

Also Me: Can you make me several copies of this loose key that I can’t prove belongs to me?
TIMPSONS: Absolutely, and how about a trophy to celebrate?

— Andy Kind (@andykindcomedy) January 24, 2023

Thoroughly enjoying myself in GP waiting room. A very smartly dressed woman with shopping bags bulging with warm new clothes from m&s walks in.
Receptionist: 'do you have an appointment?'
Woman: 'no. I am just dropping by to see someone'
Receptionist: 'a doctor?'
Woman: 'yes.'

— Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی (@ShappiKhorsandi) January 24, 2023

Logging into teams and it working perfectly fine pic.twitter.com/gusH1QvZ6F

— E4 (@E4Tweets) January 25, 2023

I have to admit that this was nice though… pic.twitter.com/LZnKboyW8w

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) January 25, 2023

This isn't my subject area, but at a glance this seems the most extraordinary decision. We've a shortage of doctors, a problem with retention.

So a genuine question, what is the logic for capping numbers allowed to go to medical school at the momen? https://t.co/WbRgnE5wvy

— Martin Lewis (@MartinSLewis) January 25, 2023

Of course, the only person who could afford these. It makes so much sense https://t.co/CA5BWw48KL pic.twitter.com/P6kbviiXlV

— Hannah Thompson (@HLThompson93) January 24, 2023

Any one else hope that whilst Raquel is protecting the streets of West Yorkshire in Happy Valley, Curly's preparing one of Betty's hotpots for when she gets home?

— Rosie Jones (@josierones) January 25, 2023

Fair play to the Post Office van in a car park near us which has been blaring out 'Help, this vehicle is under attack. Please call the police!' for six straight hours now. Rest assured everyone within a half-mile radius has done that.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) January 25, 2023

The average cat's reaction time is approximately 20-70 milliseconds, which is faster than the average snake's one (44-70 ms). The average human one is not less than 250 ms

[source: https://t.co/hZYUZFlkt8]
[📹 qinhan111: https://t.co/bNrc8tpeJW]pic.twitter.com/NImsjfqogR

— Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) January 25, 2023

Had 2 cocktails and have just bid on this on EBay pic.twitter.com/BcDpa470Lj

— Keegan (@keeganontour) January 25, 2023

“Hi, I’d like some travel insurance please”
“Sure, where are you going?”
“St Marie”
“£230,000 for two weeks.”#DeathInParadise

— Erasmo 🇮🇹🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@Erasmo2058) January 27, 2023

This sparks much joy pic.twitter.com/cuJipeDpEX

— Laura Gastón, Beloved ❤️ (@Broken_Devotion) January 27, 2023

I suspect when I’m in heaven I’ll realise I got a huge amount wrong in my theology and completely missed the point hundreds of times. What I do know I’ll have got right, is that Jesus loves me and loves you. So I’ll bang on about that more than anything else… #jesus

— Carl Beech (@newnazarite) January 27, 2023

We are heartbroken. St Mark’s has been a beacon of hope & light in a dark world for 175 years. As a church, we have worshipped together and loved our community – seeking to serve the parish. This will not stop. We don’t yet know the full extent of the damage, but we will rebuild.

— St Mark's NW8 (@StMark_HT) January 27, 2023