A COLLECTION OF CLOCK-BASED CONTENT
— innocent drinks (@innocent) March 25, 2023
Please enjoy some of our favourite renditions of one of our classic posts.
Which means, yes, the clocks are going forward tonight. pic.twitter.com/vpPf7otUUZ
“My director of communications has informed me that no rules have been broken” https://t.co/mbI3upzwsr—
Stig Abell (@StigAbell) March 22, 2023
The Louvre in Paris shipped over and made into an ASDA in Dundee pic.twitter.com/bjJJDDSllq
— From The Dung Heap (@DungHeap1903) March 19, 2023
Need more with integrated lighthouses…. – Morrisons, Preston Riversway pic.twitter.com/vATZTm5r5c
— Kev S (@kevjs1982) March 19, 2023
“The cat told me it would be OK” pic.twitter.com/jPfn1CDSRf
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) March 20, 2023
When folk constantly tell fibs, it’s really difficult to know when they’re telling the truth. I imagine it’s even a challenge for themselves.
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) March 21, 2023
In fairness to BoJo, saying no one told him the rules – well the person telling us the rules each night was him. And you can’t tell yourself rules. Them’s the rules.
— Paul Kerensa (@paulkerensa) March 21, 2023
To highlight what a surreal year 2022 was, both the party at the palace jubilee and the queen’s funeral have been nominated for the same category at the TV BAFTAs this year.
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) March 22, 2023
TFW Dick Van Dyke is trending! It's ok people, he's still with us.
— Sarah #FBPE 💙 (@WokeLefty16) March 22, 2023
Whichever tweet you see first, though, will likely affect your secondary reaction! pic.twitter.com/qTeaDdqgfu
All Mary wanted was a different crossword. Now she's on a do-not-hire list. https://t.co/Bp5Zo3JdGp
— Jason Elkin (@jasonelkin86) March 22, 2023
The series was set in 2006, which it turns out were the good old days – the NHS is unrecognisably tougher today. Morale and retention of staff have never been lower than it is today. And nor has real-terms pay. (2/3)
— Adam Kay (@amateuradam) March 22, 2023
Still confused as to how this is a defence – surely the onus isn’t on his officials to tell him he’s doing something wrong but on him to ensure it’s right? https://t.co/MyG6Vul2gl
— Christoph Auckland (@ChrisAuckland) March 22, 2023
A Consultant Paediatric Anaesthetist has been suspended for 6 months for using his wife’s travel pass on the Tube. When caught, he admitted it immediately and took the fine on the chin. Not even a hint of a patient safety issue here.
— Dave Jones (@WelshGasDoc) March 21, 2023
Absolutely pathetic. https://t.co/aHmTKRtYMg
What's your address, @alo_oficial? pic.twitter.com/RmYzlhoBK8
— George Russell (@GeorgeRussell63) March 22, 2023
Whatever you say about Road Dahl, the man had work-life balance absolutely nailed. Ooh, tough 90 minutes work this morning, was it? Better have some gin and prawns, followed by a three-hour snooze. pic.twitter.com/DHT08oF9Q7
— Rob Davies (@ByRobDavies) March 22, 2023
Just remembered he wrote a letter to a 7-year-old telling her she was right not to have a birthday party https://t.co/VpuHeRdNa4
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 22, 2023
How was I supposed to know I was naked in a hotel room with her when no one told me I was
— Tom Jamieson (@jamiesont) March 23, 2023
"I did not lie" lied the liar.
— Moose Allain (2024 edition) Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) March 22, 2023
If the Queen had labelled this as a leaving event, she could have had the whole palace around her and copious drinks afterwards, and still have complied with @BorisJohnson’s version of the rules and guidance. pic.twitter.com/mLb7MVCpbB
— Dr Phil Hammond 💙 (@drphilhammond) March 22, 2023
Ferrari have registered the fastest pit stops at the first two races of the season.
— ESPN F1 (@ESPNF1) March 24, 2023
This mechanic must still be in the garage 👀⚡️ pic.twitter.com/vrC99qsyqc
Introducing… the Penguin Book Vending Machine!
— Penguin Books UK (@PenguinUKBooks) March 24, 2023
In 1935, Sir Allen Lane was inspired to create Penguin Books when he couldn't find a good book to read at Exeter St. David's train station.
We've gone back to our roots to ensure modern day commuters won't face the same problem. pic.twitter.com/5rEf4IfL3f
Sitting at a 13 person group dinner and saying "one of you will betray me" and then refusing to specify which one is the HEIGHT of DRAMA. https://t.co/0azsYYxrOq
— Jerrick White (@BostonJerry) April 15, 2022
Anyone on Twitter keep track of stories that aren't stories? This would be a top contender… Macron whacks his watch on the table, so sensibly removes it mid-interview. Not a story. https://t.co/bsPGoYHLKv
— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) March 24, 2023
My thoughts on the London Overground splitting into different names and colours…..
— Jay Foreman (@jayforeman) March 25, 2023
Rees Mogg just said he wanted to be “The Woolworths of Nigel Farages”#prickandmix… pic.twitter.com/H26E7PmxSD
— christhebarker (@christhebarker) March 22, 2023
So, my sis took the GP job in Canada’s publicly funded, universal access health service.
— Dr Dan Goyal (@danielgoyal) March 25, 2023
This is the deal:
▪️9 to 4, with an hour for lunch
▪️1 hour for patients she’s never met before
▪️20min for returns
▪️6 months accommodation
▪️relocation fees
All for double the salary!
Astonishing … astonishing that Ambika Mod was not nominated for #ThisIsGoingToHurt at the TV #BAFTAs
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) March 22, 2023
One of the standout performances of the year.
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?