ineke.co.uk

Lollipop ladies should marry ice cream men and have hundreds and thousands of babies.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) July 19, 2015

You know, we can't help but feel that #InsideOut's Joy looks a bit familiar…http://t.co/mCFU8ZlgkE pic.twitter.com/wL67J11xbR

— Radio Times (@RadioTimes) July 25, 2015

Operator: What's your emergency sir?
Toad of Toad Hall: My friend's been shot several times
O: Holy moly
T: This is no time for jokes pal

— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) July 25, 2015

To duffifie is to lay an almost-empty bottle on its side/upside down to get to the last few drops: good for shampoo and ketchup. Morning.

— Susie Dent (@susie_dent) July 22, 2015