ineke.co.uk

If you get your tongue stuck in a mouse trap you will pronounce it mouth trap for a short period of time. https://t.co/49QGEfElTb

— Shower Thoughts (@shwr_thoughts) October 25, 2015

Sunday to-do list: 1. Sit

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) October 25, 2015

Longest things ever: 3. Labour leadership election 2. Chilcot enquiry 1. This episode of #XFactor

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) October 24, 2015

Be selective in your battles, sometimes peace is better than being right.

— Nicky Gumbel (@nickygumbel) October 24, 2015

I'm as happy when my internet goes out at work as I am angry when my internet goes out at home. https://t.co/YYpftQBMUk

— Shower Thoughts (@shwr_thoughts) October 26, 2015

Since it's payday I might treat myself to a little luxury and buy some sanitary towels 🙄🙄🙄

— Claire Waldorf (@clairwaldorf) October 28, 2015

Q: Doing anything for Halloween? A: Locking the door, drawing the curtains and sitting very quietly

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) October 31, 2015

They're playing very well, but I think it's probably about time that we started just calling them "Zealand". #RWCFinal

— James Martin (@Pundamentalism) October 31, 2015

Call me a sceptic, but I just don't think he looks like a 'real customer' … pic.twitter.com/Xa3HcQ2r9z

— Bethan Gorman (@Mrs_Gorman) October 29, 2015

'The Government needs to stop taxing women for having a uterus' https://t.co/5jmFrhkHCV

— The Independent (@Independent) October 25, 2015