ineke.co.uk

I'd like to apologise to the lady I just called by mistake saying 'Hello, is this planet Earth?' – not a prank call…just a wrong number!

— Tim Peake (@astro_timpeake) December 24, 2015

🎄 He's making a database He's sorting it twice SELECT * from contacts WHERE behavior = 'nice' SQL Clause is coming to town 🎄

— Karen (@KarenMN) December 16, 2015

0-0. This is why BT shouldn't show lower-table games #MUNCHE

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) December 28, 2015

Relaxing is exhausting isn't it?

— Jenny Eclair (@jennyeclair) December 28, 2015

pic.twitter.com/JRp6RjvNOb

— Jared Keller (@jaredbkeller) December 29, 2015

Millennials are so spoilt with their smartphones & tablets. All we had at their age was the ability to buy property in Central London.

— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) October 18, 2015

In case you don't know when the next school holidays are @CenterParcsUK have this handy tool. pic.twitter.com/Jh6qUBMSrR

— Hodd.I.Am (@andyhodder) December 28, 2015

If your New Years Resolution is to eat fewer Pringles, I have bad news… pic.twitter.com/GoA7fDlMrh

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) December 30, 2015

I just realized "discovered" is the negative form of "covered" https://t.co/ZF0WVXK7xx

— Shower Thoughts (@shwr_thoughts) December 30, 2015

Another year over and we’re still together, it’s not always easy but McFly’s here for…most of the time except 2014/15 when we were McBusted😜

— Tom Fletcher (@tommcfly) January 1, 2016

Pro Tip pic.twitter.com/iyruOIShMr

— Dave (@Join_Dave) December 29, 2015

I just realized it's called the Mediterranean sea because it's in the middle of all that land. https://t.co/k9VybGraUE

— Shower Thoughts (@shwr_thoughts) December 29, 2015

Anyone who says they understood tonight is either: a) A liar b) Seriously seriously stoned #sherlock

— Skint London (@SkintLondon) January 1, 2016