ineke.co.uk

Dog left alone in car with sign urging passers-by not to smash window to help https://t.co/Z10SaSh8eK

— Metro (@MetroUK) May 28, 2016

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

— Matt Cornish (@mattcornish86) May 28, 2016

Let's just take a moment to remember the worst phishing attempt I have ever encountered. pic.twitter.com/bZ4ZiH4xAu

— Simon from Harlow (@simonfromharlow) May 31, 2016

Nick Clegg says Boris Johnson is like “Trump with a thesaurus”. Trump responds saying he doesn’t even like dinosaurs anyway.

— HaveIGotNewsForYou (@haveigotnews) June 3, 2016

Why do we have physical checkups every year but not mental checkups? https://t.co/zIsVs70mkR

— Shower Thoughts (@shwr_thoughts) June 2, 2016

The thing about Twitter is that it matters massively while you stare at the screen and then you step away and life dissolves it.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) May 31, 2016

“It covers your bits”
The simple hallmark of great lingerie. #SewingBee

— British Sewing Bee (@sewingbee) May 30, 2016

"The old me" is younger. https://t.co/bdZvVN1CS8

— Shower Thoughts (@shwr_thoughts) May 30, 2016

"Let it be!"

– a pirate tennis umpire

— James Martin (@Pundamentalism) May 30, 2016

Imagine if – of all the atrocities in the world – the one thing that got you really angry was Chris Evans not being Jeremy Clarkson.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) May 30, 2016

Pupil sums up this year’s Sats controversy with technically correct , brilliant exam answer https://t.co/mEDayx8n6X

— The Independent (@Independent) May 29, 2016

Still think this London cycling figure is incredible. The city is changing rapidly pic.twitter.com/ZfAuk5czRM

— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) May 29, 2016

We all speak Shakespeare. #ShakespeareSunday pic.twitter.com/xFHQFY72cd

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) May 29, 2016

Cold water V Hot water pic.twitter.com/lR7Xg5Fno6

— Globe Pics (@Globe_Pics) May 28, 2016