ineke.co.uk

Some writers these days think it is cool to diss Shakespeare. It isn't. It's silly. Every feeling you've ever had Shakespeare has covered.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) August 28, 2016

The question mark is dying. Keep seeing questions on Twitter that don't have question marks. Have you noticed this

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) August 29, 2016

How to make the most of Bank Holiday Monday:
1. Find comfiest furniture
2. Lie on it
3. Wait until Tuesday.

— innocent drinks (@innocent) August 29, 2016

#recap How to tell if something is past its sell-by-datehttps://t.co/cqsIcCvCQF pic.twitter.com/4ydAFnc81B

— The Poke (@ThePoke) August 28, 2016

"I'm not hung up on the term 'workwomanship' because I know it refers to the work of women & men," Jon, 46, male workwoman.

— manwhohasitall (@manwhohasitall) August 27, 2016

"DON'T assume that someone with the title 'Doctor' is a woman. Men can be doctors too," says angry Ben, age 58, with a point to prove.

— manwhohasitall (@manwhohasitall) August 26, 2016

"We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it." Rest in peace Gene Wilder. ❤️ pic.twitter.com/zBUQutKpqR

— Everyman Cinema (@Everymancinema) August 29, 2016

This seems only fair. https://t.co/Ojfh1r5wWT

— Dara Ó Briain (@daraobriain) August 30, 2016

I do fear a future where no-one talks to anyone at all in real life out of sheer fear. Anxiety levels will spike.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) August 30, 2016

Four-word horror stories:
Team building away day
Rail Replacement Bus Service
Tell us about yourself
We're out of milk
Someone's at the door

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) August 30, 2016

Always tricky after a Bank Holiday – you put the bins out on the wrong day AND you're not sure when you're meeting Craig David for a drink.

— Channel 4 (@Channel4) August 30, 2016

It's impossible to hum if you hold your nose.

— The QI Elves (@qikipedia) September 1, 2016

Mexican president prepares to meet Donald Trump. pic.twitter.com/pDOPll1R1e

— HaveIGotNewsForYou (@haveigotnews) August 31, 2016

Teenage girls who took part in a baby simulator programme designed to prevent teenage pregnancy, were more likely to become pregnant.

— The QI Elves (@qikipedia) August 31, 2016

In a world filled with Kardashians, be a Diana. #PrincessDiana👑 pic.twitter.com/Qjrc4yeFTW

— MaryAna (@MaryAnaMcGee) August 31, 2016

In 2006, volunteers removing litter from Ben Nevis found a piano near the summit. Nobody knows how it got there.

— The QI Elves (@qikipedia) August 31, 2016

There is such kindness on the internet. The kindness outweighs the nasty stuff, I think. The warm sun is worth the mosquitoes.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) September 2, 2016

McDonald's Big Mac billboard at the border between Sweden and Norway pic.twitter.com/8azgrWP8X6

— Brilliant Ads (@Brilliant_Ads) September 1, 2016

Of the 40 miracles that are detailed in the Book of Acts, 39 of them occurred outside of the #church buildings. Get out there. #mission

— Rev. Jeremy Smith (@umjeremy) September 1, 2016

Who needs to pass an offering plate? This fundraiser will fill out a budget in any church. @UnvirtuousAbbey pic.twitter.com/ffbSmb59TQ

— Rev. Jeremy Smith (@umjeremy) August 30, 2016

Hello Twitter! What are we outraged about today?

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) September 3, 2016

Rain, rain go away? Whether you love it or hate it, there’s lots of fascinating facts pic.twitter.com/FtvKUXubBL

— Met Office (@metoffice) September 3, 2016