Disney journals that look like VHS tapes.
I'm amazed there are ACTUAL BUSINESSES only getting their GDPR emails out now. Even I've done it, and I'm just a bloke who looks like a heron.
— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) May 25, 2018
Stop kidding yourself and throw away your Gü ramekins.
— Jay Foreman (@jayforeman) May 25, 2018
*looks up at the night sky*
⭐️ WE’VE ⭐️ ⭐️
⭐️ ⭐️ UPDATED ⭐️
⭐️ ⭐️ OUR ⭐️
⭐️
⭐️ ⭐️ PRIVACY ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️ ⭐️ POLICY ⭐️ ⭐️
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) May 25, 2018
Enjoyed an after work GDPR cocktail today (GinDanielsPimmsRum) courtesy of our COO. https://t.co/PNIrD72xi0
— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) May 25, 2018
The word ‘donkey’ used to rhyme with ‘monkey’.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) May 27, 2018
Calming blue lights installed at the end of Japanese railway platforms have been shown to reduce the suicide rate at stations by 84%.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) May 27, 2018
It literally has boundaries. pic.twitter.com/SpTgRYmz85
— David Mooney (@DavidMooney) May 26, 2018
Wow, GDPR really worked https://t.co/cCHsLFwJh8
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) May 27, 2018
On Strictly, I promised the audience I’d get a specific tattoo if me and @keviclifton got to Blackpool.
1. I always keep my promises
2. I added a sun for Bring Me Sunshine
3. It’s full of joy and a reminder of what I can achieve if I dance outside my comfort zone. I love it! pic.twitter.com/dHw4Tz174k— Susan Calman (@SusanCalman) May 28, 2018
Picking a destination for your summer holidays? How about flying into FUN (Funafuti International Airport, Tuvalu)? Other notable destinations to consider: BOO (Bodø, Norway), BUM (Butler Memorial Airport, Missouri), BRR (Barra, Scotland) – or even SEX (Sembach Kaserne, Germany).
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) May 28, 2018
100 Years is a movie starring John Malkovich, made in 2015 and due to be released in 2115. The film is locked away in a safe with a timed release mechanism and invitations to the screening have been carved in stone, to be handed down to descendants of the invitees.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) May 28, 2018
Saying #Brexit will make us poorer:
97% of academics
ALL of big business (CBI)
Every former PM alive
IMF
World Bank
Every major bank
HM TreasurySaying Brexit is great:
Boris Johnson (proven liar)
Nigel Farage (proven liar)
J Mogg (proven liar)
Steve Baker (proven liar)— Rhena E. (@tempora_magda) May 27, 2018
In Roseanne’s defense, it’s hard to know the difference between racism that gets you fired versus racism that gets you elected President of the United States.
— Brian Christopher (@bcsproul) May 29, 2018
— Heather Floyd (@hscf) May 29, 2018
The whole country could be swarming with chameleons and you'd never know.
— innocent drinks (@innocent) May 30, 2018
The discrepancy between your biological clock and your school or work schedule is called ‘social jet lag’.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) May 30, 2018
A pretty etymology for the day: the word ‘daisy’ is a shortening of ‘day’s eye’, because the flower opens its petals at dawn to reveal its yellow disc, and then closes them again at night.
— Susie Dent (@susie_dent) May 30, 2018
Overheard a woman in Tesco speaking to her husband.
“Put it back, Terry. You know we only have Finest if it’s got a yellow sticker on it”
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) May 30, 2018
So M&S now sell a 2kg Colin and
1: lol that they think it'll serve 40, I will eat the whole thing
2: lol that they've ignored the importance of a comma…BUT
2a: if they're suggesting using a 2kg cake to tell your mate to break up with their other half then TEN POINTS, M&S 🐛 pic.twitter.com/RG2ySauhmo— Flen (@flendog_) May 29, 2018
After meeting Kim Kardashian to discuss prison reform, Donald Trump reveals schedule for the rest of the week: pic.twitter.com/TYIcihnYKO
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) May 31, 2018
When self-described US evangelicals support Trump, seek donations for private jets, oppose gun control and ignore racism they discredit themselves and sadly the whole church.
— Kevin Bennett (@kevinleebennett) May 30, 2018
dear @Twitter … along with an edit tool, would love a “3 second” rule on likes… scrolling can produce unintended likes (w/o ambien). and if they didn’t stick right away, would have a chance to unlike.
♥️ me— Monica Lewinsky (@MonicaLewinsky) May 31, 2018
Don’t worry, this just sounds like the beginning of a Madagascar movie, @BBCBreaking 🦁 🐯 #Madagascar #TheyreJustFilming #PenguinsOfMadagascar https://t.co/thb0duyxF2
— Simon Lodge (@silodge) June 1, 2018
Don’t make my do the ‘World Cup Of Who’s Going To Win The World Cup’.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) June 1, 2018
When libraries troll their patrons. pic.twitter.com/Hn8a96f8je
— Dark Tyrant, the Horror of the Living (@Metafrantic) February 4, 2018
“We should really start thinking about making a move” – Translation: We’ve been trying to leave for many hours
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) June 1, 2018
I won't see myself as truly middle class until I have a fridge w/ a fully functioning ice dispenser.
— Drew Dyck (@drewdyck) June 1, 2018
Dude. Thats the wrong Kim.
— Tobi Wedermann (@t_wedernoch) May 31, 2018
We did not EGGS-PECT that. #Taskmaster pic.twitter.com/QVaqVVph6f
— Dave (@davechannel) May 30, 2018
#OTD 1977: John Noakes scaled Nelson's Column, on a wobbly ladder… with no safety harness…and no helmet…wearing flares… to clean some pigeon poo. Don't try this. Anywhere. Ever. pic.twitter.com/J5NfUvZQPA
— BBC Archive (@BBCArchive) May 30, 2018
if he's not trying to lose his eyesight for you then what's even the point smh
A post shared by BuzzFeed (@buzzfeed) on
A post shared by Miranda Hart (@realmirandahart) on
Anything to add...?