This guy’s been killing fascists for over 70 years. Killed this guy so hard he deleted his account. https://t.co/DmHEIh86nl—
TMNTVEVO (@TeflonDonatello) July 15, 2018
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States (HT @RorySmith) pic.twitter.com/us4S9ZWQCI
— Hadley Freeman (@HadleyFreeman) July 15, 2018
Based on past statements about what "people don't know" Trump had no idea those were the same country until this week. Think we could get a pool reporter to ask him to comment on the ongoing conflict between the Dutch, Holland, and the Netherlands?
— DaveLister (@jjs781) July 15, 2018
Stolen off Facebook. Her mum had to rewind the news as she thought she'd seen a giraffe running across the background…… I. Cannot. Breathe ššš pic.twitter.com/hraQu0KOJi
— Lesley (@weswee37) July 17, 2018
The fox I planted last year is coming along nicely. pic.twitter.com/o6PbMREzpp
— Helen Dale (@_HelenDale) July 15, 2018
Whenever I get blue I just remember that life could be worse: I could be dating someone who makes me film them lifting weights at the gym for social media
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) July 16, 2018
*gets up in the morning*
blogger: I HAVE HACKED TIME pic.twitter.com/VkF5P6ok6V— Josh Peter (@drawjosh) July 18, 2018
Shoreditch, youāve gone too far. pic.twitter.com/iu7JibOid3
— Summer Ray (@SummerRay) July 19, 2018
Still think this is the best story of the World Cup pic.twitter.com/0QitLDZRHS
— Amitai Winehouse (@awinehouse1) July 10, 2018
Poster for Snakes On A Plane 2 revealed: pic.twitter.com/6Xu4xBUwGk
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) July 14, 2018
BREAKING: President of the United States arrives for summit with Donald Trump. pic.twitter.com/TfrQn9FMd6
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) July 16, 2018
MONDAY MOTIVATION
The World Cup can't even hold tea, yet it still became the World Cup. Just think what you can achieve.— innocent drinks (@innocent) July 16, 2018
It is okay to dog ear pages. It is okay to draw in books. Doodles. Margin notes. Highlights. Books are to be interacted with, argued with, marked, loved. A book belongs to the reader as much as the writer. The reader should let the book know they exist.
— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) July 16, 2018
BREAKING: Elon Musk labels local firemen ānoncesā for putting out orphanage fire with hoses instead of using his ice-laser rocket ship.
— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) July 16, 2018
10 British points today to anyone who says the sentence "We need a good storm to clear the air.ā
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) July 16, 2018
Stop banging on about Vote Leave and Leave_EU having broken the law in the referendum. Itās not as if it affected the result which it would have done had it been a close result like, say, 52-48.
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) July 17, 2018
Pretty cool that the referendum wasn't legally binding and that the winning campaign cheated so we're going to nosedive the country into the sea just so some guys with flags for avatars don't get stroppy.
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) July 17, 2018
A repeat of me hosting #HIGNFY got more viewers than an interview with the failing low-ratings @realdonaldtrump Sad! https://t.co/HphCLQOwio
— Stephen Mangan (@StephenMangan) July 18, 2018
Fixed it.
How much woodn't could a woodnotchuck not chuck
If a woodnotchuck could not chuck woodn't?
As much woodn't as a woodnotchuck could not chuck,
If a woodnotchuck could not chuck wood. Not.— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) July 18, 2018
A Dave top tip pic.twitter.com/8zq2jDAreF
— Dave (@davechannel) July 19, 2018
It occurred to me today that Magnums did for the choc ice what the meteorite did for the dinosaurs #extinctioneventconfectionary
— Richard Coles (@RevRichardColes) July 19, 2018
Suggested penalty for people who use a train seat for their bag: The bag can remain on the seat but the owner must travel in the luggage rack
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) July 19, 2018
watch Melaniaās face, sheās terrified. Iām starting to feel for her. #Putin pic.twitter.com/VvgkRpze7s
— SUNNY CARTER (@iamsunnycarter) July 16, 2018
A reminder, in the midst of Brooch-gate that the Queen has a track record in winding up rogue foreign leaders. pic.twitter.com/8ZgWVUehHL
— Fergus Butler-Gallie (@_F_B_G_) July 18, 2018
THIS IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS IāVE EVER SEEN HAHA pic.twitter.com/xsi7xOm5ay
— š“ó §ó ¢ó ·ó ¬ó ³ó æ (@YanitedDave) July 18, 2018
Oranges are unknown in the wild (they are a man-made hybrid of the mandarin and the pomelo, or āChinese grapefruitā).
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) July 20, 2018
Hiring someone to knock on the door of Number 10 when I want to come in is the best decision Iāve ever made
(Photos: @justin_ng) pic.twitter.com/hOFMIanSpH— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) July 20, 2018
#would #wouldnt pic.twitter.com/8de42fUJW1
— Specsavers (@Specsavers) July 20, 2018
Word of the evening: petrichor – the unique smell of rain falling on scorched earth, after a long spell of hot weather.
— Susie Dent (@susie_dent) July 20, 2018
Even after controlling for such factors as income, education and wealth, people who read books live longer than those who don't.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) July 20, 2018
OVERMORROW (archaic) – the day after tomorrow.
EREYESTERDAY (archaic) – the day before yesterday.— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) July 21, 2018
True Christianity is like that one amazing movie that you are trying to get people to watch but they don't want to because all the trailers for it suck.
— Jacob (@jacobnolenmusic) July 18, 2018
Iāve named my dog āten milesā
Just so I can tell people I walk ten miles twice a day.
— Dad's Puns (@DadsPuns) July 20, 2018
In the woods with my dogs earlier. Heard a woman shout āPete, Bob, Glenn, Dave!ā and 3 chihuahuas and a German Shepherd came running out from the trees.
So that was my day made.— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) July 20, 2018
Today would be a bad day for Trump to resign.
Sorry, I meant āwouldnāt.ā
— Travis Allen š (@TravisAllen02) July 19, 2018
There's a machine at darlo train station that charges your phone, Ā£2 for 20 mins.
Someone's unplugged it and is charging thier phone in its socket.— Reece (@Hugill) July 20, 2018
Given the Lib Dems' sole excuse for existing right now is to be the 'Stop Brexit party', this is off the charts. https://t.co/9MDeUNQ9Ll
— Owen Jonesš¹ (@OwenJones84) July 16, 2018
When the CEO responds to your out of the office email about taking sick leave for mental health and reaffirms your decision. šÆ pic.twitter.com/6BvJVCJJFq
— madalyn (@madalynrose) June 30, 2017
Happy #Caturday pic.twitter.com/M9ZtDOh825
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) July 21, 2018
Couldn't sleep last night. I kept thinking about how the Green Ranger had a dagger that was a flute that sounded like a synthesizer that's trying to sound like a trumpet. And he blew into it with his helmet on. pic.twitter.com/ji9EzWBB3v
— Chris Shehan_Not at SDCC (@zhourules) July 17, 2018
If Southern Rail ran the Island of Sodor Railway. pic.twitter.com/w0YiwYvdtZ
— Phil Lucas (@PhilLucas) July 12, 2016
Look at how the UK is turning brown after the lack of rainfall (Photo source: @metoffice) #Summer2018 #ukheatwave pic.twitter.com/McubDTZI3c
— Tomasz Schafernaker (@Schafernaker) July 18, 2018
A post shared by Shelley Wallace (@shelleyannewallace) on
Anything to add...?