ineke.co.uk

My gran about an unpleasant couple. "Ah well, at least they won't spoil two homes."

— Andromeda (@andromedababe) August 13, 2018

My money is on the live wolves. pic.twitter.com/ViSw73tpvD

— Gareth Penrose (@garethpenrose) August 11, 2018

How to read books:
1. Purchase book
2. Put book on shelf with other books that you don't have time to read because you keep buying books

— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) August 12, 2018

In 1898, 14 years before the Titanic sank, Morgan Robertson wrote a novella about an ocean liner called Titan: it was considered unsinkable, didn't carry enough lifeboats, then hit an iceberg and sank.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 12, 2018

I just saw an outrageous tweet. I very nearly retweeted it with me commenting about how outrageous it was. It took a lot of willpower but I didn't. I am now onto level 2 of Twitter.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) August 12, 2018

The Chief Executive of ‘Don’t Visit Cornwall’. Or as we know them, the Chief Executive of ‘Visit Devon’. https://t.co/OLMn7WzZ7k

— Greg James (@gregjames) August 12, 2018

Lots of people posting this video to praise the dog – I think he should mind his own damn business…pic.twitter.com/tCia0uqHgE

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) August 13, 2018

the gilmore girls revival but the main character is the next gilmore girl, rory's daughter, and she's getting married and she doesn't know which of dean, jess and logan is her father so she invites them all to her wedding and they all sing a lot of abba

— Gilmore Girls revival but… (@ggrevivalbut) August 9, 2018

This just works so WELL. Lorelai can even come in and sing I kissed the teacher with Max @rhiannaoliviab

— Millie Ryan (@millieryanblog) August 10, 2018

Omg and then plot twist tristan turns up at the wedding and he's the dad @kristen_gaunt16

— 𝔸𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕪𝕒𝕙 (@Aaliyah_thomasx) August 10, 2018

All roads lead to Kelly Bishop singing Fernando.

— KEVIN BIANCHI 2: Here We Go Again (@thekevb) August 10, 2018

Okay but like imagine the kickass numbers Miss Patty would choreograph 😍

— Lena Costello (@harmony_archer) August 11, 2018

I've been with my wife for 15 years and she's always been really understanding, caring and forgiving of my foibles. Last night I said, casually, that I'd never seen Toy Story. She was shocked. I then revealed I'd also never seen The Lion King and now it seems my marriage is over

— Susan Calman (@SusanCalman) August 15, 2018

When the Superman comics were rebooted in the 1980s, the new Lex Luthor, Superman’s arch-nemesis, was based on Donald Trump. Luthor was a Wall Street executive who, in a 2001 story, became US President.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 15, 2018

After Mo Salah is caught using his phone while driving, Arsenal contact Liverpool offering to take the 6 points.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) August 15, 2018

I don’t think it’s possible for a British person to say the words, “shopping mall” and sound even remotely comfortable.

— Dave Gorman (@DaveGorman) August 15, 2018

A lot of people assuming that I just think it's an unpleasant Americanism. It's not that. I mean we just can't pronounce the 'mall' part of it properly. As someone who's spent time in the States & had to meet someone at a mall, I've tried. It's not mawl, maul, mal or marl.

— Dave Gorman (@DaveGorman) August 15, 2018

“James Bond isn’t black!”
“Dr. Who isn’t a woman!”

Here’s the thing. Those two are fictional characters. You know who was a real person though? Jesus of Nazareth. And he wasn’t white. But y’all been fine with that.

— RevDaniel (@RevDaniel) August 15, 2018

Getting your A-level results? Remember Prince Charles only got a B and a C yet still went to Cambridge and is next in line for the throne. #alevelresults2018

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) August 16, 2018

The weather is having a moment, so we've put up our umbrellas, wandered outside and done some research for you. pic.twitter.com/2q1LVZeVL9

— Dave (@davechannel) August 16, 2018

You. Have. Literally. Just. Taken. Away. Their. Freedom. To. Move. To. Germany. https://t.co/aeCFdQodJv

— James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) August 16, 2018

Half of the population of Uganda is under 16.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 16, 2018

I’m not saying this campsite is posh, but our neighbours on both sides have children called Rufus.

— Martin Saunders (@martinsaunders) August 16, 2018

Omg who made this masterpiece? pic.twitter.com/wnXToTLSYr

— sarah (@SarahDuggers) August 14, 2018