ineke.co.uk

He looks like he’s trying to cheat off the other kids & he STILL did it wrong. Stare into an eclipse more, ya goober. https://t.co/a0mLuKw5nE

— Caissie (@Caissie) August 25, 2018

As Donald Trump says his impeachment would cause a market crash, financial experts argue sales of champagne and party hats would actually give the economy a boost.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) August 24, 2018

Fact of the day – the first ever episode of Thomas The Tank Engine was broadcast LIVE in 1953 and one of the model trains derailed so all the kids watched a giant hand come down from the sky and put the Henry back on the rails

— Alex Bell (@alexbell) August 24, 2018

#NationalDogDay pic.twitter.com/9xt4j5VEwu

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) August 26, 2018

And now the #BankHolidayMonday weather pic.twitter.com/xfuuRQ4pXs

— Dave (@davechannel) August 27, 2018

Alan Alda met his wife when they were the only two people at a party willing to eat a cake off the floor.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 26, 2018

Percentage of Bake Off spent marvelling at the baking: 49%
Percentage of Bake Off spent marvelling at the magic slidey oven doors: 51%#GBBO

— innocent drinks (@innocent) August 28, 2018

Soul Survivor, what are you doing to my poor bank account?! pic.twitter.com/mkSNtqt6am

— Martin Saunders (@martinsaunders) August 28, 2018

Shops to be banned from selling energy drinks to children, despite concerns among Brexiteers it will affect their performance in the chimneys.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) August 30, 2018

"Also racist." https://t.co/uJ2hPL3dKi

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) August 31, 2018

This remains one of my favourite things to have happened on Facebook. pic.twitter.com/pJZqDOzPNJ

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) September 1, 2018

70% of people take twice as long to turn off a robot if it tells them it’s scared of the dark or begs them not to do it. The other 30% won’t be able to bring themselves to turn it off at all. (https://t.co/Fr5l4Sy9C2) pic.twitter.com/cEMjoH2P68

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) September 1, 2018

Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its pupils. – HECTOR BERLIOZ

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 31, 2018

If women don’t want to take their husband’s name when they get married that’s absolutely cool, whatever their reason, but my favourite reason for a woman not taking her husband’s name is my friend Emma’s.

Emma married a man with the surname Dale.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) August 31, 2018

As Wonga goes into administration, borrowers respond by bundling all their lacks of sympathy into one easy-to-manage lack of sympathy. pic.twitter.com/pQPZP2XDz2

— The Poke (@ThePoke) August 31, 2018

Looks like a beautifully diverse, accepting, thriving street to me. Proud to live in London and to mix with people of all cultures and beliefs without prejudice. You'll never experience that glow which I pity you for, genuinely. https://t.co/Ds0CL6IbyR

— Duncan Lindsay (@DuncanLindsay) August 25, 2018

George W. Bush sneaking a piece of candy to Michelle Obama is warming my heart . pic.twitter.com/pAtDdIcSeB

— Roland Scahill (@rolandscahill) September 1, 2018

Congratulations. Is the baby bigger than you?!🤣🙋🏼‍♂️😍 https://t.co/NZiHWAbR98

— Alan Shearer (@alanshearer) September 1, 2018

The best thing to do is make minimal effort with your look.
If you make a minimal effort, when you do make more of an effort people are like “Wow! You look great!” but if you make a maximum effort all the time, if ever you make less effort, people think you’re tired or ill.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) September 1, 2018

"You're selling us self-consciousness." Jameela Jamil explains why she thinks the Kardashians are "double agents for the patriarchy", in the latest Ways to Change the World podcast. pic.twitter.com/NWHfGH2wNs

— Channel 4 News (@Channel4News) August 31, 2018