ineke.co.uk

Thank God Trump pulled out because of the weather. This weather looks terrible. No one could survive in this weather. https://t.co/dRrl0Rt5uy

— Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) November 10, 2018

Hillary had fucking pneumonia and attended a 9/11 memorial anyway and fainted and Trump and his supporters went bonkers and said she was about to die.

Trump won't stand in the rain for a few minutes to honor the veterans of WWI.

It's astonishing.

— Clara Jeffery (@ClaraJeffery) November 10, 2018

.@justintrudeau drops umbrella (& the mic): “As we sit here in the rain, thinking how uncomfortable we must be these minutes as our suits get wet, and our hair gets wet…it’s all the more fitting that we remember on that day in Dieppe the rain wasn’t rain, it was bullets.” pic.twitter.com/lRUTRtt5FB

— Lis Smith (@Lis_Smith) November 10, 2018

On beaches from Cornwall to the Shetland Isles, and Pembrokeshire to Donegal, portraits of the fallen were sculpted in the sand, to say thank you for their sacrifice, 100 years since the end of the First World War pic.twitter.com/wMRfztSObF

— Press Association (@PA) November 11, 2018

Japanese company Piala Inc. have awarded their non-smoking staff 6 extra days holiday to make up for the time they spend in the office while their colleagues are smoking.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) November 11, 2018

Ironic. pic.twitter.com/XS0rCnuvc3

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) November 11, 2018

The original version PARKLIFE 😆 pic.twitter.com/Lw5ApT7KBe

— Ryan Butterworth (@RJButterworth11) November 11, 2018

Brussels sprouts infused with Marmite – taste sensation or fetch me a bucket? pic.twitter.com/XsrpCV0RSv

— Money Saving Expert (@MoneySavingExp) November 12, 2018

#OnlyConnect is super hard this evening. Someone once described House Of Games as ‘Catchphrase meets Only Connect’, which I liked very much.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) November 12, 2018

Careful Harry doesn’t leave you halfway through to join @bbcstrictly 🙄 #saintsfc https://t.co/j8s03vC5tQ

— Southampton FC (@SouthamptonFC) November 12, 2018

So, Britain’s Got Talent’s casting team got in touch to ask if I’d like to apply to be a contestant. SHOULD I DO IT??? OMG! I COULD END UP DOING 3 LIVE AT THE APOLLOS! OR HAVING 12 SELL-OUT EDINBURGH SHOWS! AND MAYBE EVEN TOURING ALL OVER THE COUNTRY FOR TEN YEARS!!! #giddy

— Shappi Khorsandi (@ShappiKhorsandi) November 13, 2018

Latest bus update. #BrexitDeal pic.twitter.com/6dzCMofD8h

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) November 13, 2018

Just had a sneaky look at the #BrexitDeal – hope none of you are too attached to the Crown Jewels. Or Cornwall. #kitileaks

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) November 13, 2018

I feel I should take the job of Brexit Secretary now. If only so that when I resign, Theresa May can finally be proved right than No Deal is better than a Baddiel.

— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) November 15, 2018

In answer to various inquiries: yes, I have been sitting on that one for a while.

— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) November 15, 2018

Listen, let’s ALL resign.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) November 15, 2018

Pretend you're a politician at work today by doing a terrible job, resigning and blaming everyone else in the office.

— Dave (@davechannel) November 15, 2018

Reminder that there's no #HIGNFY tomorrow due to Children in Need.
Fortunately it's been a slow news week.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) November 15, 2018

Fun fact: Jacob Rees-Mogg is younger than Kylie Minogue

— Rafael Behr (@rafaelbehr) November 15, 2018

Let's pause a moment to admire the total success of David Cameron's plan to use the Brexit referendum to heal the divisions in his party.

— Robert Hutton (@RobDotHutton) October 6, 2017

This tweet has aged very well 😉 https://t.co/RuNBkCwx6T

— Heather Floyd (@hscf) November 15, 2018

MAY RESIGNS https://t.co/56Uv4S01fc

— Matt Chorley (@MattChorley) November 15, 2018

Of course we all know who the lyrics "How wonderful life is now you're in the world" were written about…#JohnLewisChristmasAd #EltonJohnLewis pic.twitter.com/7JXmB5UVBr

— Jesus Tweets You (@JesusTweetsYou) November 15, 2018

‘He got the runs in the end’ 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 #iam11 https://t.co/fcRfbk9VA4

— Shappi Khorsandi (@ShappiKhorsandi) November 15, 2018

My Mum lost her password for 23andme. Instead of getting a new one, she ordered another spit kit, gave another sample, and had another DNA test!

Today, she rings me: baffled, but excited and happy, that they’ve found a twin she didn’t know about!#DNA

— 🔶 Writer in Pyjamas #FBPE (@WriterInPyjamas) November 14, 2018

This is all leading up nicely to Theresa May being free for ‘I’m A Celeb’ on Sunday.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) November 15, 2018

Lots of people asking me if I’m going to quit. Easy to answer: No.
My country needs more, now more than ever, so I’m going nowhere.
Now it’s your turn, Gove… pic.twitter.com/h7HanBSIMV

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) November 16, 2018

“The Prime Minister offered me the position of Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union. After careful consideration for three seconds, I have declined the offer” pic.twitter.com/M572yFLQhN

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) November 15, 2018

In case I walked out.https://t.co/9PBK1lvl3x

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) November 14, 2018

I'd like to accept the job of brexit secretary

Day 1 AM – go to Brussels to apologise
Day 1 PM – Cancel Brexit
Day 2 AM – Organise big national festival. 50% remainer discount
Day 2 PM – Cancel new 50p
Day 3 AM – Scotland yard to investigate all leave bigwigs
Day 3 PM – prosecco

— EU Flag Mafia (@EUflagmafia) November 16, 2018

BRITS: What must the rest of the world think of us right now?!

REST OF THE WORLD: We have hated you literally forever, and today is the same.

— Carl Kinsella (@TVsCarlKinsella) November 16, 2018

Panic attacks aren’t always ABOUT something. They can be about themselves. You can be panicking about the horror of the panic. And the deeper it gets the worse you feel it could be. This isn’t being flustered. It’s physically and mentally all-encompassing. An erosion of you.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) November 17, 2018