ineke.co.uk

Me, on December 1st. 🎄 pic.twitter.com/8BOfhh9nDP

— Metro (@MetroUK) December 1, 2018

I sometimes think of all the talented people in the world you never hear about because their talent didn’t come with ambition. It was just enough by itself. There was no hunger for appreciation or approval or external success.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) December 1, 2018

pic.twitter.com/VwrFLq6P5c

— Dick Van Dyke (@iammrvandy) December 2, 2018

NEVER in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down

— David Grant (@DavidGrantSays) December 2, 2018

The best advent calendar. EVER. pic.twitter.com/wXIHvHS7cZ

— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) December 1, 2018

My sister brought the Grinch an onion yesterday and I about died 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/BJn7mypxOz

— Spokesmayne (@Spokesmayne) December 1, 2018

#whamageddon begins today. pic.twitter.com/IEtz8zKnyW

— Romesh Ranganathan (@RomeshRanga) December 1, 2018

🗓 6th January 2018
👋 Mark Hughes sacked by Stoke

🗓 3rd December 2018
👋 Hughes sacked by Southampton

He becomes the first manager to be sacked by two Premier League clubs in one calendar year 😂 pic.twitter.com/Uf00Ufegly

— ODDSbible (@ODDSbible) December 3, 2018

Not great news for Theresa, especially as it’s currently lining my litter tray… https://t.co/Qvm4vNEolz

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) December 4, 2018

pic.twitter.com/RUs4bDDolS

— Matt Cartoons (@MattCartoonist) December 4, 2018

NOT NOW NIGEL https://t.co/ZsF7hqdAAX

— Jim Waterson (@jimwaterson) December 4, 2018

The issue of class, of where we all fit, and the boundaries that separate one class from another, are so complex and multi-faceted. But, basically, it all boils down to this. The later you open your presents on Christmas Day, the more middle class you are. #Sociology

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) December 4, 2018

“Are engagement rings anti feminist?” is one of those questions you only see on Twitter and never hear spoken by anyone in real life…

— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) December 4, 2018

Might as well tweet nothing but this from now on. #ContemptOfParliament https://t.co/N62uyuq5hK

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) December 4, 2018

If there's one thing my 3yr old loves it's me pausing the TV to point out that the dartboard is incorrectly numbered &then making a small presentation to explain my theory that they changed the 5 to a 2 because someone incorrectly thought the authentic design might be copyrighted pic.twitter.com/4rkDRRSIRU

— Dave Gorman (@DaveGorman) December 5, 2018

Well I've seen it all now. pic.twitter.com/g5FCa2JouP

— Jack Monroe (@BootstrapCook) December 5, 2018

Moon on flag vs. flag on Moon pic.twitter.com/l06Qo1UoBZ

— Terrible Maps (@TerribleMaps) December 5, 2018

Sometimes dreams do come true @gregjames lad…🦈🎄 Merry Christmas ya filthy animal #babysharkxmasno1 @BBCR1 pic.twitter.com/jw3pHq0rEq

— Tom Walker (@IamTomWalker) December 5, 2018

This is your "Christian" evangelical president. pic.twitter.com/u0478FoSyR

— Keith Boykin (@keithboykin) December 5, 2018

Lightbulb moment. https://t.co/9l2y0Ze6hx

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) December 5, 2018

Just as it became unacceptable to use racist, homophobic, or ableist language, phrases that trivialise cruelty to books will vanish as more people appreciate books for what they are. pic.twitter.com/PDDdmgyO8o

— WaterstonesTCR (@WaterstonesTCR) December 5, 2018

“It’s a bloody nightmare”
Meaning: Something is proving a mild inconvenience; typically used to describe slightly heavy traffic, or the internet not working

“It’s not ideal”
Meaning: Something terrible has happened and life is almost certainly ruined

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) December 6, 2018

As the brexit debate has been dropped by every other channel we would like to say that we are still available. We would provide a Taskmaster special between the PM and the leader of the opposition. It is what the public deserves.

— Dave (@davechannel) December 6, 2018

So… in summary:
ITV have spent a fortune
You advertise like there’s no tomorrow
You make it all about you while we are a team
The wonderful fella before me had done the job for 15 years…
And we still get double your audience 😬
I’ll send your silver medal for Christmas 🥈😂 https://t.co/0xfsN0K6Uy

— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) December 7, 2018

Last night on the radio the top news story was the O2 data outage and at that exact moment we reached Peak Entitlement.

— Martinsel Saundecorations (@martinsaunders) December 7, 2018

Finally finished my Christmas playlist on Spotify… pic.twitter.com/iQBM2swXWZ

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) December 7, 2018

Here's an idea. Let's sing it but in the 1940s. Not now.

— Dominic Angadi (@DominicAngadi) November 30, 2017

How to turn the @RoyalAlbertHall into a tennis venue in 60 seconds 👌@ChampionsTennis 🔥 pic.twitter.com/gvcVnoEJw0

— ATP World Tour (@ATPWorldTour) December 6, 2018

This makes sense and I am shook. pic.twitter.com/z9WqosVDI4

— James Ridgers (@englishguy) December 1, 2018

“Can I have some of this cheese?”
“NO! It’s for Christmas!!”
“Okay, I’ll just have a slice of bread”
“That’s Christmas bread!”
“How about I just… boil some rice?”
“CHRISTMAS!!!”

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) December 8, 2018