ineke.co.uk

Pogo like nobody's watching. Bounce like nobody's next to you. Nut the air like you're not wearing a wonderfully sharp suit. #SewingBee pic.twitter.com/P7CBfJFNho

— Sewing Bee (@sewingbee) March 3, 2019

WEATHER SUMMARY

Last week
☀️☀️☀️

Yesterday
☔️☔️☔️

Today
🌪🌪🌪

Tomorrow
🥞🥞🥞

— innocent drinks (@innocent) March 4, 2019

The four shows on BBC2 which regularly get viewing figures over 2 million (v good figures), are University Challenge, Only Connext, Sewing Bee, and Inside The Factory. I like what this says about us as a country.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) March 4, 2019

CLASSIC PANCAKE TOPPINGS
Lemon and sugar
Nutella and banana
Blueberries and yoghurt
Bacon and syrup

UNCONVENTIONAL PANCAKE TOPPINGS
Rhubard and custard
Salt and vinegar
Fish and chips
Sage and onion
Batman and Robin
Ham and pineapple#PancakeDay

— innocent drinks (@innocent) March 5, 2019

It’s finally here. The most magical day of the year.
“HE’S BEEN, HE’S BEEN,” children cry, as they excitedly rip open bags of flour and clutch dripping stockings full of batter. #PancakeDay

— innocent drinks (@innocent) March 5, 2019

Wait for it…#PancakeDay pic.twitter.com/lk6zwmsZdu

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) March 5, 2019

Is this a good innovation?
Boxed water?
Carton is recycled and recyclable.
Tastes OK.
What do you think friends?
It's definitely better than single use plastic bottles. pic.twitter.com/PVDEpLvcZR

— Dr Krish Kandiah OBE (@krishk) March 5, 2019

Some Europeans who live in flats have installed cat ladders so their pets can get in and out. This one is particularly spectacular. (Image: Buetal) pic.twitter.com/027m8LMQo8

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) March 5, 2019

“So the last will be first, and the first will be last.” (Matthew 20:16) https://t.co/WuUQlWsD0M

— Archbishop of Canterbury (@JustinWelby) March 5, 2019

We’ve hired the exact same ad van that @Nigel_Farage used for his foul poster and have taken it to Smith Square in Westminster, the same place he launched it. But we’ve given it a bit of a re-design. pic.twitter.com/NryM95WvxF

— Led By Donkeys (@ByDonkeys) March 7, 2019

This is your gentle reminder that one time in the Bible Elijah was like “God, I’m so mad! I want to die!” so God said “Here’s some food. Why don’t you have a nap?” So Elijah slept, ate, & decided things weren't so bad. Never underestimate the spiritual power of a nap & a snack.

— Joy Marie Clarkson ☀️ (@joynessthebrave) February 28, 2019

9……periods……per year…….how are men allowed to be this stupid https://t.co/Nx6MxzNR4S

— v e g g i e s l u t (@vegan_vexation) March 6, 2019

As someone who Quite Likes Maths I cannot believe I hadn’t realised this until the age of 47. https://t.co/4MFf8DuB6s

— Rhodri Marsden ⏏️ (@rhodri) March 6, 2019

I mean, fucking hell, WHAT A JOKE. pic.twitter.com/haXdTNpWAn

— John Rain 🥇 (@ItsJohnRain) February 24, 2019

There is one, its in November.#IWD2019 #triggerwarning

— MrsTooth (@DebbieTooth) March 8, 2019

I’ve created a spreadsheet which notes everything I’m gonna give up until Easter

It’s excel lent

No you shut up

— vivienne clore (@Vivienneclore) March 7, 2019

pic.twitter.com/oIKC1nRu3D

— Claudia Winkleman (@ClaudiaWinkle) March 8, 2019

Met this girl on Monday? Yeah, Monday
Took her somewhere, erm, Tuesday
We were making love by when? Eh?
And on Thursday, possibly Friday and Saturday (maybe)
Forget what we did on Sunday

Vague David

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) March 9, 2019

Many people first encountered literature in school where they were taught to dissect books like a dead animals in a biology class. No wonder many dislike reading! We need to rediscover books not as lifeless things, but as worlds of wonder, destined to be enjoyed not dissected.

— Joy Marie Clarkson ☀️ (@joynessthebrave) March 9, 2019