ineke.co.uk

This is the face I see every time I fill the dishwasher. pic.twitter.com/A5De2Yy4Jw

— Rosie Ramsey (@Rosemarino) November 24, 2019

Went to see Frozen II (it was good) but there was a parent taking photos (with flash 📸) of their kids standing in front of the screen DURING the movie. People have officially lost the plot. Like, you are all insane.

— Liam Geraghty (@Liam_Geraghty) November 23, 2019

Tourist in Venice, Italy 😂🤣

I'm going to hell for laughing 😭 pic.twitter.com/o6iWPa0zzu

— StanceGrounded (@_SJPeace_) November 25, 2019

Following dubious pledge of 50k ‘new’ nurses, Boris Johnson promises a free Christmas Tree for everyone, although this does include the Christmas tree you already have.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) November 25, 2019

This isn't complicated.
For the last 9 years, have the following got better or worse?
▪️ Social and political harmony?
▪️ In-work poverty?
▪️ Our global reputation?
▪️ Business confidence in the UK?
▪️ Hate crime?
▪️ State of the NHS?#ToriesOutDecember12

— Femi (@Femi_Sorry) November 26, 2019

MEP Robert Rowland learns that it’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. Well handled @MollyMEPpic.twitter.com/qZON4NFyve

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) November 26, 2019

I'm very concerned about the sale of .org to a private company. If the Public Interest Registry ends up not being required to act in the public interest, it would be a travesty. We need an urgent explanation. #SaveDotOrg

— Tim Berners-Lee (@timberners_lee) November 27, 2019

There’s talk that Boris Johnson might not agree to be interviewed by @afneil on the BBC. I’m confident he will (voters don’t like proven cowards) but if he refuses then I’ll take his place…

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) November 27, 2019

I tried donating blood today…NEVER AGAIN!
Too many stupid questions: Whose blood is it? Where did you get it? Why is it in a bucket?

— John Downey (@REALjdowney) November 27, 2019

ATTENTION EVERYONE

It is just three days until December. If you start detangling the fairy lights now, you should be done by New Years.

— innocent drinks (@innocent) November 28, 2019

If Boris Johnson isn’t prepared to go on TV and be asked proper grownup questions by a proper grownup interviewer for just 30 minutes, then he doesn’t deserve to be called Prime Minister. He deserves instead to be called a pile of cold giblets hiding in a PM costume.

— Armando Iannucci (@Aiannucci) November 28, 2019

Today I thought I would share some things that are good:
– the way a bus driver waves
– the harmonica solo in “Say you’ll be there” by the Spice Girls
– zips

Why not reply with another thing that is good? Have a good day!

— Paul Bell (@paulbellmusic) November 28, 2019

Channel 4 have actually gone ahead and replaced Boris Johnson with a melting ice sculpture pic.twitter.com/V5fMmoSQCH

— Ashley Cowburn (@ashcowburn) November 28, 2019

Greater Tokyo vs Greater London #Map #Maps #Amazingmap #Amazingmaps #London #Tokyo pic.twitter.com/lxKBCOPx5e

— Amazing Maps™ (@amazingmap) November 28, 2019

DEAL OF THE DAY

Anti-Black Friday hypnotherapy, now free #BlackFriday pic.twitter.com/oHQgveVLWc

— innocent drinks (@innocent) November 29, 2019

Say it ain’t so
I will not go
Turn the lights off
Carry me home pic.twitter.com/rhWCwncbr0

— Chris Ramsey (@IAmChrisRamsey) November 29, 2019

The key to understanding how anyone could vote for someone on "the other side" is knowing that people on the left typically believe that fairness = equality and people on the right typically believe that fairness = proportion.

— Henners (@Joe_Henegan) November 29, 2019

There comes a point in the history of a nation where stupidity is indistinguishable from wickedness. That's where we are now.

— Philip Pullman (@PhilipPullman) November 28, 2019

These fellas are amazing. The terrorist has already killed 2 people, injured others and they chase him down with a whale tusk and a fire extinguisher. He’s wearing a suicide vest which they don’t know is fake.
Incredible. True heroes. #LondonBridge pic.twitter.com/0hduOInM9I

— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) November 30, 2019

I get very upset by misuse of the term ‘quarter-finals’ on every reality TV competition. #StrictlyComeDancing2019

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) November 30, 2019

When Jim Carrey was playing the Grinch, he needed torture-endurance training from the CIA to help him survive the daily 8.5 hours of make-up required for the role.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) November 30, 2019

The coolest cat in the world (sound on)pic.twitter.com/OIfbBc4FnA

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) November 25, 2019

Here's a Taskmaster thing I'm doing that you can get involved with. Please do… @SloughHomeless @trinityhomeless pic.twitter.com/m7uaQQw4DU

— Alex Horne (@AlexHorne) November 28, 2019