ineke.co.uk

If they remake Clueless in 30 years, Paul Rudd could still play Josh.

— Fat Benatar (@ElaDemonio) May 8, 2019

@bitternepark bitterne park school seem to be laying it on a bit thick pic.twitter.com/uGdc0Tzsby

— Southamptondogwalker (@uptowndogswalk) November 29, 2016

Parking was a nightmare this morning pic.twitter.com/f0CABkHniK

— Burger King (@BurgerKingUK) December 4, 2019

Thats terrible new’s https://t.co/KgnHINbdx7

— Helen Ingram (@drhingram) December 1, 2019

The reason the terrorist in London went on a "stabbing spree" instead of a "shooting spree" is because they have tough gun laws and serious penalties in England. Thus the toll was 3 dead (awful) rathe than 3 dozen (horrific).

— Stephen King (@StephenKing) November 30, 2019

Ecclesiastical cartoon controversy. It appears it might be my fault people don’t come to church these days. https://t.co/jFXvWQCHW8

— Dave Walker (@davewalker) November 30, 2019

Regular reminder. STOP. USING. HIS. FIRST. NAME. He's not your mate. He's not a celebrity. You don't do it with the others. He's got you to do it over the years to make him seem more pally. He's not. It's branding. He's playing you all like an effing flute.

— Stephen McGann (@StephenMcGann) December 1, 2019

This is what top-quality entertainment looked like #OnThisDay in 1972. pic.twitter.com/TeXxPRQPl3

— BBC Archive (@BBCArchive) November 16, 2019

MONDAY MOTIVATION
If you can make it through Monday without eating your entire advent calendar then you can make it through anything.

— innocent drinks (@innocent) December 2, 2019

Please note: If you already ate your entire advent calendar yesterday then that's equally impressive, just in a different way.

— innocent drinks (@innocent) December 2, 2019

I just saw someone drinking from a bottle of water while having a wee. Make your mind up mate.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) December 2, 2019

A #taskmaster leaderboard update! It's now 'Dave complete', including some tweaking for Point Per Rabbit and Point Per Laminator, as well as accounting for Katy Wix's two episode absence. @EdGambleComedy takes the top spot! pic.twitter.com/glRuwTmcpK

— Alex McMillan (@UndeniablyAlex) December 3, 2019

A beautiful Christmas ornament at Number 10. Plus someone’s hung something on the door…
(Photo @PoliticalPics) pic.twitter.com/D7YACIFrOQ

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) December 4, 2019

“If I don’t see you before have a good Christmas!”

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) December 3, 2019

Thanks. pic.twitter.com/Dqgdwff0in

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) December 4, 2019

Can't believe @BBCTheOneShow without Matt Baker!
This was one of the greatest questions — pic.twitter.com/F8EWnldOOc

— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) December 4, 2019

My sister said Melania Trump always looks like she’s trying to read the chippie menu and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since pic.twitter.com/Sw1VwgXXgK

— Laura (@ElleEmSee) December 2, 2019

If I had to rate our solar system.

I’d give it one star.

— Dad's Puns (@DadsPuns) December 4, 2019

Brain scans of dogs have shown that they enjoy receiving praise as much as they enjoy receiving sausages.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) December 5, 2019

Brit 1: “I’m so sorry, I’m going to have to cancel”
Brit 2: “Oh don’t worry, let’s do something in the new year”

<Both Brits nearly pass out with relief>

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) December 5, 2019

Matt Baker shares an emotional message with all of #TheOneShow's viewers. pic.twitter.com/8B3nziIoNR

— BBC The One Show (@BBCTheOneShow) December 4, 2019

Despite repeated discussions with Conservative Central Offical I’m afraid Boris Johnson is running scared and refusing to appear on Pointless Celebrities. If he’d had the guts to appear I wanted to ask him about Kurt Russell films and to name a Christmas number one from the 1970s

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) December 6, 2019

Someone who knows about Bible stuff- help please. In the nativity story in Matthew 2, the man who has a *prophetic dream* to go to *Egypt* with the *threatened youth* Jesus is called Joseph. Coincidence? Or deliberate mirroring?

— Martin Saunders 🤦🏻‍♂️ (@martinsaunders) December 6, 2019

One of the madder laws we have in the UK…what if I stand up? No tax then? pic.twitter.com/4B9clnO5pE

— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) December 6, 2019

Disney princesses re-imagined as cement mixers, please spread awareness for cement mixer equality. pic.twitter.com/TbmebwxBxu

— Childish Gamdeano (@dean_jaric) January 9, 2016

New! Cassetteboy vs Boris Johnson pic.twitter.com/b7QKvGJBwn

— Cassetteboy (@Cassetteboy) December 5, 2019

THREAD. Let me tell you a story. Though my ma, Claire, died in 2010 and my dad in 2015 my sister and I weren't able to get their ashes together until earlier this year (for reasons I won't bore you with). We'd long planned to scatter them in appropriate places. In april we did 1/

— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) December 3, 2019