ineke.co.uk

Yesterday my colleague called me a 'book murderer' because I cut long books in half to make them more portable. Does anyone else do this? Is it just me? pic.twitter.com/VQUUdJMpwT

— Alex Christofi (@alex_christofi) January 21, 2020

it's nearly February, for a start https://t.co/yHuEeh734K

— Declan Cashin (@Tweet_Dec) January 24, 2020

During WWII, the USSR gifted a visiting Royal Navy submarine with a reindeer. Lacking any other form of transit, the reindeer (named Pollyanna) joined the crew for a six week return voyage.

During her tour, Pollyanna slept under the captain's bunk.

(Image: @NatMuseumRN.) pic.twitter.com/rjfjqLSVGP

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) January 19, 2020

💛
You cannot read this too many times. pic.twitter.com/0oeYFRVGIw

— Shirah Bamber (@shirah_bamber) December 30, 2019

A guide to which emojis are and aren't penguins:

🐼 Not a penguin
🐄 Not a penguin
⛄️ Cold but not a penguin
🦨 Not a penguin
🍳 Right colours but not a penguin
🦡 Not a penguin
💾 Forgotten what this is
🏁 Not a penguin
🐧 Penguin
🎱 Don't count on it#PenguinAwarenessDay

— innocent drinks (@innocent) January 20, 2020

Isn’t that what Judas Iscariot did #MOTD pic.twitter.com/oYTuDx3hX1

— Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) January 18, 2020

Kelly Kapoor losing her shit pic.twitter.com/M4XGauAnKo

— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) January 20, 2020

This ruined my day. BAP TO THE FUTURE was there for the taking. I’ll never get over it. pic.twitter.com/MpUjCVvL6x

— Greg James (@gregjames) January 21, 2020

GOOD THINGS TO DO IN JANUARY:

• Enjoy a gorgeous sunrise at 10am
• Buy shares in a gritter company
• Breathe outside, pretend to be a dragon
• Stock up on shorts whilst they're cheap
• Enjoy a gorgeous sunset at 11am

— innocent drinks (@innocent) January 22, 2020

The BBC refusing to comment on what the BBC is reporting about the BBC is the most British thing of all British things https://t.co/8ApEVq0SNQ

— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) January 22, 2020

A vegan said to me, "People who sell meat are gross!"

I said, "People who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."

— Dad's Puns (@DadsPuns) January 23, 2020

“Erm… can I borrow you a sec… I think I might have… done something… quite bad?”

Translation: I’m quite sure I accidentally just deleted the entire company’s database

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) January 24, 2020

It is bitterly disappointing that after a victory in the Lords the government have voted down my amendment in the Commons. What could be more humane than asking that unaccompanied child refugees stranded in Europe be able to join relatives in this country? https://t.co/XiwoY0FIiz

— Alf Dubs (@AlfDubs) January 22, 2020

If you re-edit the Two Ronnies' Mastermind sketch so that Ronnie B is asking the right question, the audience is just pissing themselves laughing at the correct answers. pic.twitter.com/vPKyKJpRHX

— Darren Dutton (@Darren_Dutton) January 19, 2020

Let’s get this version round American twitter as a classic British comedy sketch and confuse them.

— t.ghelani (@tghelani) January 19, 2020

Sir Michael Palin has paid tribute to his fellow Monty Python star Terry Jones.

This is heartbreaking. pic.twitter.com/qzguEbZ25t

— Cinephilia & Beyond (@LaFamiliaFilm) January 22, 2020

1. The original Mr Bean TV series is now on @NetflixUK
2. The subtitles on the Latin opening theme have revealed that the actual lyrics are simply:
“Behold the man, who is a bean.”

After 28 years my mind has been blown to pieces and I laughed so hard. pic.twitter.com/8WbBePnYUQ

— James Green (@jamesgreenfilm) July 7, 2018

WE🇪🇺STILL❤️YOU🇬🇧

— Donald Tusk (@donaldtuskEPP) January 24, 2020

On Good Friday in 1930 the BBC evening news announced "There is no news." Then they played piano music instead.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) January 24, 2020

What font is she set to? pic.twitter.com/hbdlw3WdBf

— Oddly Pleasing (@Oddly_Pleasing) January 21, 2020

WHY CAN’T CHARITIES JUST RUN EFFECTIVE PROFESSIONAL PROJECTS SITTING ON THE GROUND OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN WITH NO COMPUTERS OR PAID STAFF LIKE SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSES DO🤷‍♂️ https://t.co/Pv1koKR3kN

— Ben Wittenberg (@ben_wittenberg) January 24, 2020