ineke.co.uk

Anyone out there who is finding it a bit Too Quiet: I thoroughly recommend this website. All the ambience of a café from the comfort of your own bunker. They even have PARIS: https://t.co/m0NuRuQUsZ

— Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) March 21, 2020

as always, cheese is the answer pic.twitter.com/1B0SPtXeNC

— Greg James (@gregjames) March 22, 2020

WHO DID THIS pic.twitter.com/Q2srkdgTib

— Andy Parmo (@andyparmo) March 22, 2020

turns out you can change your Zoom background to videos too so tonight the group is watching Parasite with my mate Jonny cameoing in every shot pic.twitter.com/YYrh7zMgqg

— Alex Bell (@alexbell) March 22, 2020

Timpsons is shutting for the foreseeable future though they’ve said their locksmiths business will remain open. That’s obviously because they are key workers.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) March 22, 2020

@SurreyRoadCops will someone come and deal with this please? Tesco Brooklands, est 100 vehicles, some drifting, bikes wheelying. Trying to run a site here with a 76 ton crane, Tesco staff terrified to go outside. Called 999, still waiting pic.twitter.com/NzNHz2Y271

— Buck Tarbrush (@bucktarbrush4) March 22, 2020

THIS THIS THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN. THIS. Please watch and share. Brilliantly and simply put. pic.twitter.com/LAlAvq0jg7

— Greg James (@gregjames) March 22, 2020

Day 6 of Quarantine: C-Section went smooth. The Cuties are in great shape and mother is recovering pic.twitter.com/wAyLkYiKxh

— Makiya Tony Starks Daughter (@selenamua_) March 20, 2020

No need to explain what a key worker is. Because he didn’t say key workers. That’s the point. He said travel to and from work only if “absolutely necessary”, which means many different things to different people. The vagueness is infuriating and easily exploited. Just say it.

— Sali Hughes (@salihughes) March 23, 2020

After the latest announcement my wife said “it’s just the two of us now. I can teach you to play chess. We have all the time in the world”. Then she smiled like an utter psychopath. So I’m sure it’s all going to be fine. pic.twitter.com/Vu9YFSKHYV

— Susan Calman (@SusanCalman) March 23, 2020

Anyone else losing their minds but then slowly recovering…several times a day?

— Melanie Murphy (@melaniietweets) March 23, 2020

My other half and I just identified a weird change in our behaviour: we’ve both been instinctively holding our breath as we walk past people in the street. The human brain, there.

— Rhodri Marsden (@rhodri) March 23, 2020

We’ll get through this folks. And then you can spend the rest of your life scoffing at younger people: “I think if I got through the coronavirus, I’ll be able to survive [blank]”.

— Dara Ó Briain (@daraobriain) March 23, 2020

So it turns out I was on BBC Radio One this morning. Thanks to @gregjames for the shout out! pic.twitter.com/q8XQlvcxiN

— Michael Fry (@BigDirtyFry) March 24, 2020

🙌 https://t.co/LsPOrLO7Gx

— Royal Mail (@RoyalMail) March 24, 2020

I can't speak for House, obviously – no one's written clever words for me to say – but I'm pretty sure he'd tell you it's not a matter of 'solving' Covid. This is an epidemic, not a diagnostic problem. We solve it together by staying apart.

— Hugh Laurie (@hughlaurie) March 24, 2020

After he claims the US will have overcome COVID-19 by Easter, scientists suggest Donald Trump has socially distanced himself from reality.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) March 25, 2020

Everyone is a runner now. And a rambler. And an outdoorsy type. Only a month ago no-one ever left the house except to get a new iPhone charger.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) March 25, 2020

Acrostic poems
Contain a word
Running down
On the
Side of the poem using the first letter of each line
That's what acrostic poems are
In
Case you weren't sure what acrostic poems are

— innocent drinks (@innocent) March 25, 2020

If there's a baby boom in 9 months, it'll consist entirely of first-born children.

— Winston Chang (@winston_chang) March 24, 2020

I’ve made a chart to help illustrate to people how far apart to stand. pic.twitter.com/sYs8CEwISj

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) March 25, 2020

Same for me earlier. I feel if there is any challenge the British can rise to its the one with polite queueing https://t.co/xza4i0JDm2

— Jess Phillips MP (@jessphillips) March 25, 2020

Remember mostly just talking about rain? Good times

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) March 25, 2020

“Six cases of gin, 200 cans of fever tree tonic, a few packets of rich tea biscuits, three tubes of BBQ Pringles, a steak the size of the arse of a cow, some antiseptic wipes, and a few tins of beans with those little sausages. Got that, Johnson? Leave it by the gate.” pic.twitter.com/JVehpVWPSo

— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) March 25, 2020

Finland has just closed their borders.

No one will be crossing the finish line.

— Dad's Puns (@DadsPuns) March 25, 2020

My wife just went to the supermarket. They were letting ten in, ten out. Everybody queued politely and 2 metres apart. When she got in, the shelves were full. Everyone was polite. We can do this.

— Stig Abell (@StigAbell) March 25, 2020

This guy has just won the internet. pic.twitter.com/wQWvKw4jco

— Teeta (@anitamassey86) March 25, 2020

the human has been working from home the last couple days. and every so often. they let me participate in the video calls. all the other humans cheer when they see me. i am the only thing holding their company together

— Thoughts of Dog® (@dog_feelings) March 10, 2020

“I hope this email finds you inside”

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) March 26, 2020

During a Coronavirus update/meeting this Mayor excused himself to the restroom but forgot to turn off his microphone — and I am now dead…🤭🤣😭💀💀 pic.twitter.com/WZ18JQq7cO

— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) March 16, 2020

Tears streaming down my bloody face! Remember this. Look after these wonderful people through all the better times. The NHS is only expensive until you remember how much we need it in our darkest days. Then it's priceless. #clapforNHS

— Stephen McGann (@StephenMcGann) March 26, 2020

Quick message to all those making bread at the moment. Keep the water you’ve cooked potatoes or pasta in. It will help the bread’s texture and rise.

— Nigella Lawson (@Nigella_Lawson) March 26, 2020

fortississimo
fortissimo
forte
mezzo-forte
mezzo-piano
piano
pianissimo
pianississimo
anti-vaxxers right now

— Adam Kay (@amateuradam) March 26, 2020

I won’t lie, this will test my willpower… pic.twitter.com/kyC6Ti8US9

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) March 27, 2020

I hope it’s not just me that gets a bit panicky now when watching a TV programme or film and see people standing close together or outside in a group or touching each other.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) March 27, 2020

Now this had me laughing… pic.twitter.com/TLJkpHBXWm

— Tom Elliott (@TomElliott_UK) March 27, 2020

We have attended reports of a group of youths coughing at NHS staff stating they have Coronavirus.

The youths will be prosecuted as will their parents.

Parents/ persons with PR make sure your children STAY INSIDE. You too can and will be prosecuted if you fail to do so

— Warrington Police (@PoliceWarr) March 27, 2020

The current era is crap enough without having to feel guilt that we aren't learning Greek and painting watercolours of daffodils. If you brushed your teeth today and got showered and ate something and spent ten minutes not looking at the news then well done it's an achievement.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) March 27, 2020

In 2012, Sainsbury's realised that by making their toilet roll tubes 11mm slimmer while keeping the sheet count the same, they could avoid 500 extra lorry trips a year.

— Quite Interesting Facts (@qikipedia) March 28, 2020

So our wedding has been postponed for obvious reasons and we had 115 chocolate Lindt bunnies as wedding favours – time for a bunny wedding of course! #CoronavirusLockdown #lindt #COVID19 #wedding pic.twitter.com/wELsXWS6Lc

— Mark in Bangkok (@thaispicytravel) March 25, 2020

To anyone who minimised their tax returns so they could pay less child maintenance: our users are thinking of you at this difficult time. #coronavirus #singleparent pic.twitter.com/wTlRmKecRi

— Mumsnet (@MumsnetTowers) March 28, 2020

I was bored. pic.twitter.com/bVoC0hyNzC

— Andrew Cotter (@MrAndrewCotter) March 27, 2020

omg our favourite family have returned to bbc world news pic.twitter.com/lP7vIqD37V

— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) March 26, 2020

can kill a couple of weeks of self isolation with thispic.twitter.com/h3JRwv2UAg

— end of daves ❄️ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) March 15, 2020

video calls that could have been calls are the new meeting that could have been an email

— Esther Webber (@estwebber) March 24, 2020

I know most people understand but the coronadodge where I walk out into the middle of the road when someone is coming the other way still feels a bit rude. I would smile at them but worry that might come off as sarcasm.

— Robert Webb (@arobertwebb) March 25, 2020

Update: Not all sports are cancelled pic.twitter.com/VHmxFinflV

— Marty O (@martoo14) March 14, 2020

Self-isolation update https://t.co/QlxLtcmrqF

— Katie Mack (@AstroKatie) March 16, 2020

Day 1 of self isolation and this is what we’ve got #coronapocolypse #coronavirus pic.twitter.com/oabj1pa9Id

— Bridget Grimm (@bgrizzleswizzle) March 16, 2020