Different ways people approach a simple addition sum.
Life as a British kid before the internet.
Life tips. (Cos “Life hacks” is a stupid phrase.)
People who did not do their jobs well.
https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10150995848895703&set=a.494965395702
Is there some sort of law that there must be a new version of Batman every two years?
— Bryony Gordon (@bryony_gordon) August 23, 2020
What Mondays are made of:
12% "How was your weekend?"
8% Trying to remember your password
14% Trying to remember how to do your job
6% Trying to remember your own name
9% Turning the camera off so no one sees you napping
51% Injecting coffee straight into your eyeballs— innocent drinks (@innocent) August 24, 2020
An opinion thread on #London railway termini.
VICTORIA: Huge. Half-station, half-shopping centre. Could probably do with another tube line. Never close enough to the coach station as you need it to be. Buses to everywhere. Was doing free toilets before all the others were. pic.twitter.com/f0kh33zs8D
— Connor McGovern (@connorjmcgovern) August 23, 2020
Sister-in-law had her driving test today. There are three possible spots they use to test reversing round a corner, and one of them she just couldn’t master. So Stepdad Ken went and parked his car there so the examiner had to pick one of the other two. Anyway, she passed.
— Anita O'Hara (@nitsohara) August 24, 2020
Kindergarten class. China. Amazing.
Basketball, bruh…pic.twitter.com/BvLX5l4RX2
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) August 24, 2020
I AM SOOO HAPPY https://t.co/J9T0Z0hfzg
— Dr. Sarah Gordy MBE (@sarah_gordy) August 24, 2020
I know that TV is getting back to normal, because we're filming a Christmas show this Friday.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) August 25, 2020
Summoning the delivery you’ve been waiting in for all day by placing one foot in the shower
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) August 26, 2020
People who say we shouldn't apologise for the slave trade because it's in the past are 100% the exact same people who say "WE SAVED FRANCE IN WORLD WAR 2" like they personally stormed the beach of Normandy as a sperm
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) August 26, 2020
British postage stamps are the only ones not to feature the country of origin’s name.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 25, 2020
Never wanting to use an exclamation mark yet worrying you'll come across as miserable without one
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) August 26, 2020
Read the small print bottom right!! 🤣 pic.twitter.com/E5jLmksAz4
— Stuart Antony (@STU_ACTOR) August 26, 2020
I felt like this video clip needed appropriate music to accompany it.
[sound up] pic.twitter.com/9M2eP8z4hm— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) August 25, 2020
My pettiness level:
Got told to fuck off by the Mum of the family in Greggs who were stood right up my arse when I politely asked if they could stand back a couple of meters.
As a result I was forced to buy the last slice of pizza that their son said he wanted & he cried.
— Fromage a trois (@Paul_Hawkins83) August 26, 2020
Hey guys, wanna feel old?
I'm 40.
You're welcome.
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) August 26, 2020
Make going to the supermarket more exciting by playing the Crystal Maze theme tune as you navigate the one way system and time yourself between hand sanitiser stations.
— Dave (@davechannel) August 27, 2020
Oh good, it’s the time of year where I have to explain to the TV Licensing Authority why King George III hasn’t paid his TV licence since 1820 pic.twitter.com/9vYma2DSlz
— Rachel Mackay (@rachmackay) August 27, 2020
Idea: an app which informs you that you have in fact got five jars of cumin in the cupboard when you’re in the supermarket and you definitely don’t need to buy another one “just in case”
— Isy Suttie (@Isysuttie) August 26, 2020
Visited friends who have built their new house and it has a DOG SHOWER. pic.twitter.com/ZVaDqIEbdl
— Richard Coles (@RevRichardColes) August 26, 2020
Asking someone who has closed eyes, an open mouth and a drooped head that’s loudly snoring if they’re asleep. Their answer: No.
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) August 27, 2020
Stop scrolling twitter and go do that task you’ve been putting off for two weeks that will take you ten minutes
— Billie (@_BillieBelieves) August 27, 2020
Poundland Jedward pic.twitter.com/bhoMnlHsRJ
— JEDWARD (@planetjedward) August 27, 2020
Sunflowers have been planted around Fukushima to help absorb radioactive caesium in the atmosphere.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 27, 2020
It’s absolutely fine to take a break from Twitter without warning us first
— Alice Jones (@alicevjones) August 26, 2020
Ok, this is terrifying.
A 4-year old girl was found drifting nearly a mile out to sea — off the coast of Greece — on an inflatable unicorn.
Wow…pic.twitter.com/xxN4M6bbXp
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) August 27, 2020
Pro tip. pic.twitter.com/kfLSbTcs4Z
— You Had One Job! (@_youhadonejob1) August 27, 2020
This is the job spec for CEO of @MattHancock’s new version of Public Health England.
No experience in health required.
Yep, you read that right. In the middle of a pandemic.
Sheer and utter madness. https://t.co/6wn6MDCSHo
— Rachel Clarke (@doctor_oxford) August 28, 2020
This is Ruthie. She’s still figuring out doors. This is her solution for now. 12/10 very powerful we respect it pic.twitter.com/Qqa0kSH9lL
— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) August 28, 2020
Whichever librarian managed to get not just the "The Twits" but also "Betrayed"; "Resistance" and "Fahrenheit 451" in the shot behind Johnson has my admiration. https://t.co/i1RYB00lcr
— Sam Freedman (@Samfr) August 26, 2020
sorry to shitpost but i watched this and was like “who tf would say 10am?” and my h*sband said “me” pic.twitter.com/yd4BYNVRxd
— Amanda Rosenberg (@AmandaRosenberg) June 20, 2020
We're all going to get a turn at leading the Lib Dems, aren't we. https://t.co/502kDwESuN
— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) August 27, 2020
Melania Trump couldn’t decide which dress to wear so she wore a green screen to let twitter choose for her pic.twitter.com/X2rSVl3QdG
— Mara Laine (@FoundMyCarKeys) August 28, 2020
Whoever picked the dress for Melania knows nothing about green screen editing. @RexChapman @Trevornoah @ProjectLincoln @donwinslow pic.twitter.com/S1mbtPpfHC
— toade (@toade99) August 28, 2020
Everyone will be talking about Melania's dress after this is all over. #RNC2020 pic.twitter.com/KosqGenMwc
— Scott Brown (@ScottBrownDC) August 28, 2020
Gorgeous dress pic.twitter.com/JV0Da0RLrU
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) August 28, 2020
MASSIVE LEAD SPLASH:
GET YOUR LAZY ARSES BACK TO WORK OR GET SACKED IT’S PERFECTLY SAFE YOU MALINGERING SHITS
ᵗⁱⁿʸ ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉ ᵇᵒˣ ᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵒᵗᵗᵒᵐ:
ʰⁱᵍʰᵉˢᵗ ᵈᵃⁱˡʸ ʳᵃᵗᵉ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵃˢᵉˢ ˢⁱⁿᶜᵉ ʲᵘⁿᵉ ˢᵖᵃʳᵏˢ ᶠᵉᵃʳˢ ᵒᶠ ˢᵉᶜᵒⁿᵈ ʷᵃᵛᵉ pic.twitter.com/6yVnYn7j6n
— 🏳️🌈 Max 🏳️🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) August 27, 2020
They do realise people who work from home are still at work, right? https://t.co/kMK8ZphKBN
— John Hyde (@JohnHyde1982) August 27, 2020
Grant Shapps tells the country it's safe to go back to the office….. from his home office. 🤔 pic.twitter.com/I0E61Tp6kB
— Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺 (@Haggis_UK) August 28, 2020
The logo for Sony’s Vaio computers symbolises the change from analogue technology (sine wave) to digital technology (binary 1s and 0s). pic.twitter.com/6COrAwgKr8
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 28, 2020
I can't WAIT for this. Me and my brother interviewing each other at the Cheltenham Literature Fest. We will be discussing our novels, and which one of our is our Mum's favourite son. https://t.co/LpgWMQ0rGw
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) August 28, 2020
Next time someone tells me, "Just the one child? Not good – she needs siblings," I'll tell them about the ectopic pregnancy that cost me a tube, and the miscarriage of my much wanted 3rd pregnancy.
Feel like interrogating someone about the number of children they have? Don't.
— Lorrie (@LorrieHartshorn) August 27, 2020
I work in Manchester. My office job pays me £22,000 a year and can be done from home. The government want me to now spend £250 a month on trains and give up 40 hours a month in travel to buy a £6 sandwich from Pret everyday with whatever’s left of my disposal income. Hmm.
— #BlackLivesMatter (@staysocialism) August 29, 2020
Weird reversal : 'I buy a sandwich because I have to travel a long way to work" to "you must travel to work in order to buy a sandwich". If you really believed "The Market", shouldn't it seek new opportunities, not demand customers have a duty to turn up.
— Solomon Hughes (@SolHughesWriter) August 27, 2020
People in pandemic films:
*takes sensible precautions not to become infected*People in real life:
“Just heading to pack myself into Trafalgar Square to march for my right to spread around a disease with hundreds of other germ-riddled virus deniers, see you later diabetic gran”— James Felton (@JimMFelton) August 29, 2020
If you're wondering how stupid Britain is right now, a group of people who refuse to wear masks to prevent the spread of the coronavirus are gathering in trafalgar square to protest a second wave of coronavirus
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) August 29, 2020
Because of dust in the atmosphere, sunsets on Mars are blue.
(Image: NASA) pic.twitter.com/0VQVlBQty9
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 29, 2020
For those who may be disbelieving that the health secretary actually said this … here is the evidence @WeGPNs @Gpnsnn @BAMEGPNs @rcgp @BMA_GP @CNOEngland
Matt Hancock please take up our offer to meet with general practice nurses. pic.twitter.com/mZkHaXUrTt
— RCN GPN Forum 💙 (@RCNGPNForum) August 27, 2020
Guy’s security camera catches kid tearing it up on his driveway almost every day, so he decides to do something about it. pic.twitter.com/ZDVb7zLgZo
— Mike Sington (@MikeSington) August 27, 2020
Filming bats upside down looks like a goth nightclub 😂 pic.twitter.com/JSj7kc9RK9
— Animals Being Jerks (@MeanAnimals) August 25, 2020
It’s long but worth it. Incredibly sad news about Chadwick Boseman who was clearly a lovely manpic.twitter.com/bZcAyT7V8B
— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) August 29, 2020
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Anything to add...?