ineke.co.uk

Earlier today my kids discovered that a raspberry makes a really groovy hairstyle for a Lego figure. pic.twitter.com/RYkVbW81CY

— Big Green Bookshop (@Biggreenbooks) July 3, 2021

I refer you to 6 hours ago https://t.co/vMcIKCc4KJ

— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) July 3, 2021

I am once again asking @BBCSport to get Lord Sentamu onto their commentary team. https://t.co/4TgrImDBNK

— Fergus Butler-Gallie (@_F_B_G_) July 3, 2021

England 8 Denmark 0 https://t.co/FRQRS2zeRm

— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) July 3, 2021

You're welcome.
When people ask why are you on social media… ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/xAWchM099O

— Julia Bradbury💙 (@JuliaBradbury) July 3, 2021

When you're testing a microphone pic.twitter.com/HjWP5LUwSN

— liam! withnail 🤠 (@liamwithnail) July 3, 2021

Average junior doctor salary £28K/yr

Average junior nurse salary £22K/yr

Average Harry Kane salary £200K/wk

I’m glad we are compensating the real hero’s this season?? 😕

— Royal Sussex County & Princess Royal Hospitals ICU (@BSUH_icu) July 4, 2021

THREAD: Where are we in UK with cases, where are we going and should we care?

TLDR: nowhere good, somewhere worse, absolutely yes.

1/24 (yes, I know, another long one. Still worth a read I hope!)

— Prof. Christina Pagel (@chrischirp) July 2, 2021

Surely wearing masks on public transport and in shops isn't too big an ask. We know they restrict infection and protect people.

We wear seatbelts and ban smoking indoors to limit health risks, surely we can do the same with masks.

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) July 5, 2021

Wearing a mask is like giving your seat to someone on a train – it protects them more than you and it helps someone vulnerable feel a lot safer. It's no bigger an insult to your freedom than that.

— Meryl O'Rourke (@MerylORourke) July 4, 2021

I don't understand why we're even talking about changing mask rules, or why the UK was so behind on mask-wearing in the first place, when it's such an effective and low-cost way of reducing transmission. Why do people have such a problem with masks?

— Sophie McBain (@SEMcBain) July 4, 2021

This govt dropping the mask mandate when cases are rising (which cld put those with low immune systems, those who cannot be vaxxed, kids etc at risk) is just boggling. It’s literally the smallest thing to do for others as all restrictions lift.

— Bella Mackie (@bellamackie) July 5, 2021

Wearing a mask is the opposite of spitting at people. Think of it that way.

— Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) July 5, 2021

⚽️ The most amazing football pitch locations in the World. Thread:

1. Castelmezzano, Italy
📸Sebastien Nagy pic.twitter.com/7RrH7oLYqr

— Joaquim Campa (@JoaquimCampa) July 3, 2021

Genuinely wondering if all the toilet roll hoarders from March 2020 have run out yet…

— Phil Knox (@philknox) July 5, 2021

Congratulations to all current and past NHS staff on being awarded the George Cross by the Queen.

Next award to them and all key workers should be a pay rise to ensure they get at least the @LivingWageUK real living wage.

— Martin Lewis (@MartinSLewis) July 5, 2021

The @Telegraph’s getting generous pic.twitter.com/Gt41upKzJZ

— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) July 5, 2021

my aunty accidentally fried breakfast in this & everyone just ate it & commented on “such apple-y eggs” pic.twitter.com/x9Rd7frYOF

— Jack Rooke ❤️’s John Stones 4eva (@jackrooke) July 4, 2021

This is my wife! On our anniversary!! I'm a 'B' lister in my own home 😂 https://t.co/GAWUle2Tfo

— Clive Tyldesley (@CliveTyldesley) July 5, 2021

Can’t shake the feeling that, exactly like Brexit, our Prime Minister is just bored of COVID and can’t be bothered with dealing with it for a second longer.

— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) July 5, 2021

Lesson learnt. Next time will look at British meaning of words too. Thanks for the memes🙏https://t.co/ezgKJzzHHk pic.twitter.com/S9RlTZOVV8

— Nonce Finance (@noncefinance) July 5, 2021

‘Exercise your best judgement’ says Boris Johnson to country that elected him Prime Minister.

— Matt Charlton (@Matt_Charlton) July 5, 2021

The PM just told the nation not to be demob happy on the occasion his government has christened “Freedom Day”.

— Niall Paterson (@skynewsniall) July 5, 2021

The Tories: The British public will use their common sense when it comes to fighting this virus

The British public: pic.twitter.com/32NwLl5iQp

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) July 5, 2021

I shall be continuing to wear a mask. Apart from anything, I look better with most of my face covered.

— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) July 6, 2021

To anyone who is vulnerable, and rightly terrified of getting Covid, I'm so sorry for the anxiety you must be feeling right now.

To everyone else: we must not forget our friends and neighbours for whom our 'freedom' means their increased restriction and worry.

Love one another.

— Martin Saunders 🤦🏻‍♂️ (@martinsaunders) July 6, 2021

Ironically, the word "minimum" is the maximum amount of fun to type on a qwerty keyboard. Fight me.

— Matt Parker (@standupmaths) July 6, 2021

No big deal my train is just having a crisis pic.twitter.com/ijRFzR2pWI

— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) July 6, 2021

After a new Covid strain arrives in the UK from Peru, govt releases first pictures of potential super-spreader: pic.twitter.com/CLGb6yKeJu

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) July 6, 2021

Just remembering the time as a medical student that I did a whole consultant led ward round wearing my race for life medal instead of my lanyard and no one told me until the reg bought us all coffee 4 hours later and said "so, what's the deal with that medal?"

— Emily (@_emelily_) July 6, 2021

A medal is lovely. But I’d prefer it if we didn’t have to pay £20 after loosing our ID badge in a cardiac arrest, weren’t turned a way from the canteen when wearing scrubs on call, or not have to pay £100s for a parking permit but be ‘not guaranteed a space’.

— George Hulston (@medichulston) July 5, 2021

It happened to me playing for the national team in U16s against Wales. I remember it to this day. No explanation for it and it never happened again. You should be very proud of yourself. The country is proud of you. Glad to read your feeling better. Onwards and upwards 🎾🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 https://t.co/sokkubBlLN

— Marcus Rashford MBE (@MarcusRashford) July 6, 2021

For anyone who ever wondered about the origin of our name…#ItsComingHome pic.twitter.com/CWxuVurPgC

— Tesco (@Tesco) July 6, 2021

Itsainsbury's Coming Home?

— Sainsbury's (@sainsburys) July 6, 2021

pic.twitter.com/gDdidMmQpM

— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) July 6, 2021

I love how sniffy some people get about “football’s coming home”. It was originally a reference to hosting Euro 96 and is either said jokingly or sung joyously. If other people being happy annoys you, you’re the problem #EURO2020 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

— Matt Forde (@mattforde) July 6, 2021

oops. pic.twitter.com/Urihs3wLK3

— not the bible (@thenotthebible) July 6, 2021

Piers Morgan saying that Emma Raducanu cannot handle the pressure

Also Piers Morgan: pic.twitter.com/D6vGPDz1Sp

— dave ❄️ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) July 6, 2021

Church folk who love to sing: I know you’re pleased and excited. Can you please just bear in mind that people who live with chronic illness are now feeling it’s unsafe to come to church with no masks and cautions overturned. Freedom and responsibility – we belong to each other.

— Heather Cracknell (@revheath) July 6, 2021

Health minister not following science. Great country we have. https://t.co/3fFwq8qdO5

— Bella Mackie (@bellamackie) July 6, 2021

#football pic.twitter.com/3pP5HLNfm5

— Dan Schreiber (@Schreiberland) July 6, 2021

Well of course Italy won on pennes

— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) July 6, 2021

I’m no body language expert but this was the moment I knew Italy would win it pic.twitter.com/2fD97S9bvH

— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) July 6, 2021

All the Spanish dads at Wembley are now desperately trying to get their kids to cry on camera

— Elis James (@elisjames) July 6, 2021

I love the "masks and vaccines don't offer complete protection so there's no point" crowd

Sure Clive bunchofnumbers, one time I did a rectal examination and some poop got on my arm in spite of wearing gloves, so from now on I'm going in with NO GLOVES

— Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) July 6, 2021

Physics, Mathematics, Dogs.

Spontaneous formation of counter-clockwise vortex opens portal to parallel universe. https://t.co/txsAdeFljL pic.twitter.com/f8fqjPYiv9

— Cliff Pickover (@pickover) July 5, 2021

Current build over at @legowith is INCREDIBLE pic.twitter.com/31n4WrmhIv

— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) July 6, 2021

YES Iceland! https://t.co/0YSlweVQiA

— Louie Stowell (@Louiestowell) July 6, 2021

#C4News asked minister @nadhimzahawi at what level of NHS occupancy they will have to put the brakes back on. The answer is that the NHS is an emergency service (implying it will deal with whatever comes). The #ProtectTheNHS days are apparently over

— Krishnan Guru-Murthy (@krishgm) July 6, 2021

It’s time that ‘IT’ came home.
Come on England. @allontheboard #ItsComingHome #ENG #England #ThreeLions #ENGDEN #EURO2020 #allontheboard

All On The Board book – https://t.co/sOrkgCWuNE pic.twitter.com/iFtmXPKhMD

— All On The Board (@allontheboard) July 6, 2021

Chief scientific adviser @uksciencechief on Mon: “Vaccines have weakened the link between cases and hospitalisation, but it’s a weakened link, not a completely broken link."
PM @BorisJohnson on Weds: "Scientists… absolutely clear that we have severed the link."

— David Hughes (@DavidHughesPA) July 7, 2021

Every time a journalist implies someone has a panic attack because they are weak they stigmatise every person who has panic attacks. I had panic disorder for a year. Every time I want to be strong I think of the courage I had during that time. So much misunderstanding out there.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) July 7, 2021

well done Italy etc but more importantly can someone who knows about football tell me which Italian player has a full tattoo sleeve of the characters from Madagascar? pic.twitter.com/1vHwPRgvVV

— push gilbey (@pushgilbey) July 6, 2021

It looks like Djokovic is playing himself as expletive on Centre Court. pic.twitter.com/v27SuB0qQm

— Richard Coles (@RevRichardColes) July 7, 2021

Taking bets, Southampton admin… Scottish or Welsh ? https://t.co/SFVQDAQoLP

— Ben Collick (@bencollick37) July 7, 2021

so…what's everyone watching tonight??

— Netflix UK & Ireland (@NetflixUK) July 7, 2021

Not Dave

— Dave (@davechannel) July 7, 2021

I never blamed Southgate for missing that penalty. He had the guts to get up and take one. I blamed Paul Ince who sat in the centre circle with his back turned to the goal having bottled it.

— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) July 7, 2021

Shout-out to everyone who pre-booked tickets to see #BlackWidow tonight not realising that England could be playing in the Euros this evening pic.twitter.com/CBPeejIx2N

— Ali Plumb (@AliPlumb) July 7, 2021

Before kick-off, Harry Kane presented Danish captain Simon Kjaer with an England shirt with Eriksen's name on it, signed by all the England players.

What an incredible gesture 👏🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇩🇰#ENGDEN pic.twitter.com/23v0B7Blpc

— Metro (@MetroUK) July 7, 2021

What I wouldn’t give for Raheem Sterling’s eyelashes. Maybelline could never.

— Hannah Al-Othman ⚽️➡️🏠 (@HannahAlOthman) June 29, 2021

Well. You learn something new everyday: you can't be offside from a throw in. #ENGDEN

— Jo C (@joacie) July 7, 2021

He looks like football’s butler pic.twitter.com/wwkHkyxVFv

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 7, 2021

Me and Mrs A are mainly after a 2-1 England win so Emma Raducanu was right.

— Chris Addison💙 (@mrchrisaddison) July 7, 2021

Are Baddiel and Skinner slightly concerned that the song is done if it comes home…? 🤔

— Chris Stark (@Chris_Stark) July 7, 2021

Genuinely driving from Looe to Bath today. If anyone lives in a place called Sink, do let me know.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) July 8, 2021

Might just show a live stream of some paint drying on Sunday evening now tbh not much point otherwise.

— Dave (@davechannel) July 8, 2021

This is probably going to overshadow Chicken Run coming back to Netflix this weekend, isn't it.

— Netflix UK & Ireland (@NetflixUK) July 7, 2021

Kettering is en fête! #ENG pic.twitter.com/jE1xf6z4iU

— Richard Coles (@RevRichardColes) July 8, 2021

Train manager said ‘please move your bag sir or the tea trolley will not be able to make it through’, and he was right but it’s the most British moment I’ve been involved in.

— Your friend and mine, Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) July 8, 2021

In today’s episode of One Rule For Us, One Rule For Them: https://t.co/bzNj2eHOlv

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) July 8, 2021

Same energy https://t.co/0XlGyzCUkA pic.twitter.com/OkMznNRlqy

— the0500 (@the0500) July 7, 2021

If over 30 year olds were on Love Island 🏝 pic.twitter.com/JNIwZLhfM8

— Emma Doran Comedian (@EmmaLouDoran) July 4, 2021

Man with a salary of £1,575 a week tells people who have to live off £96 a week that he reckons they'll be fine getting by on £76 a week. https://t.co/gj1HpN8u4N

— Tom Pollard (@PollardTom) July 7, 2021

If you’re lucky enough to get a ticket for the final, please, please don’t boo the Italian anthem. A/ It’s an absolute belter and worth listening to. B/ It’s bloody rude, disrespectful and utterly classless.

— Gary Lineker 💙 (@GaryLineker) July 8, 2021

I know we’re all sick to the back teeth of COVID and restrictions and on and on and on but every time I see these graphs I’m at a loss as to what on Earth this govt thinks it’s doing. https://t.co/365NYpquEr

— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) July 9, 2021

🚨 | NEW: From an office in Birmingham pic.twitter.com/pSJaTYlRNB

— News For All (@NewsForAllUK) July 9, 2021

Greatest ever catch? https://t.co/Uybd8u3oPA

— The Church Mouse (@thechurchmouse) July 9, 2021

We fully support waving at the end of your #MicrosoftTeams calls. 👋

— Microsoft Teams (@MicrosoftTeams) July 9, 2021

“Mindful of Sunday evening, I have turned to scripture for help, where I find, encouragingly, at Ezekiel 40:28 these words: “He brought me to the inner court – that is to the prize and victory we long for – by the south gate.” @CottrellStephen

— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) July 10, 2021

Anyone know which level we’re at now? pic.twitter.com/a975QfJyhR

— Neil 💉💉 (@osborne_neil) July 9, 2021

I love this touchy feely stuff. I really do. pic.twitter.com/ATpYaXaUmp

— Stig Abell (@StigAbell) July 9, 2021

Boris Johnson asking people to take personal responsibility is like Boris Johnson asking people to brush their hair.

— Chris Addison💙 (@mrchrisaddison) July 5, 2021

Call me crazy but I don't think that we should be taking advice from a PM who ended up in ICU because he decided to ignore the science and shake hands with covid patients.#July19th #DowningStreetBriefing#BorisJohnsonOut

— Katy (@KatyJayne101) July 5, 2021

Agnes' internet is being cut off due to illegal activity pic.twitter.com/zUZtTGBCQf

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) July 10, 2021

Hang on, I’m still thinking. https://t.co/S6K200FHIH

— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) July 10, 2021

I got 30 brilliant comedians together and recorded a song to raise money for the NHS.

🌈 Please download & donate at: https://t.co/FdAzoIsO6Z 🙏🏼@NHSCharities #CantWait #StandUpNHS pic.twitter.com/PISZINFwhH

— Simon Brodkin 💙 (@SimonBrodkin) July 6, 2021