Benefits of being unattractive.
People winding up scammers.
Things that as kids, we thought would be a way bigger deal.
Small details in films.
I've been thinking I was probably done with Twitter, mostly because of the lack of kindness these days. But two hours of communal #strictly watching has reminded me it can (occasionally!) be a lovely place.
— Jojo Moyes (@jojomoyes) September 25, 2021
Ok Shirley, not sure what your problem is tonight, but that clap back to Claudia was not necessary #Strictly
— Rachael Hare (@HareBrainedIdea) September 25, 2021
Sent to me by a doctor friend: pic.twitter.com/TfD7pZnNRV
— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) September 25, 2021
The top 12 states to live in pic.twitter.com/yBmM6nqtCP
— Terrible Maps (@TerribleMaps) September 25, 2021
In order to get my children to look after their pritt sticks I get them to give them names. It's mainly pointless but amusing for me. In maths today one boy knocked his off his table and yelled out "Come on Janet, pull yourself together"….floored me 🤣
— Mr H (@FourfieldsMrH) September 24, 2021
Dogs made a whimpery fuss about not managing to get on the sofa by themselves, so I bought them a special dog ramp, which they looked at and then jumped on the sofa unaided. pic.twitter.com/IYWpNqIgjG
— Richard Coles (@RevRichardColes) September 26, 2021
Your day will come, @LandoNorris. 🧡
— Mercedes-AMG PETRONAS F1 Team (@MercedesAMGF1) September 26, 2021
Exciting times! I've just learnt the arcane craft of doing italics on WhatsApp!
— Mariaaaaaaarrrgghh SKreyems 🎃💀🪦👻🧡 (@MarianKeyes) September 27, 2021
(You put a _ before and after the word. You're welcome 😊)
What makes us think that EU lorry drivers are going to pack in their secure well-paid jobs, leave their friends and family, and move to Britain for a job they'll lose in three months time?
— Patrick Grant (@paddygrant) September 27, 2021
To the rest of the world: if you want to see Britain go proper apocalyptic, wait for when the tea runs out.
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) September 27, 2021
When living with a chemist, never ask for Pb on toast.
— Paul Kerensa (@paulkerensa) September 28, 2021
It’s VERY crunchy.
I'm can't tell you how – I'll use this route again, but one interpreter I worried about is now out! With his family – five kids – he's spent weeks terrified and one step ahead of the Taliban who searched for them. Now they're safe. I am so grateful to some extraordinary people.
— Tom Tugendhat (@TomTugendhat) September 27, 2021
The 2021 John Lewis ad will show a family burning their belongings for heat and to cook a rat they caught for dinner whilst sadly looking at a photo of grandad who sacrificed his life for a litre of petrol as a breathy slow version of ‘Things Can Only Get Better’ by D:Ream plays.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) September 25, 2021
As 13 films have been released in the franchise, they should now be known as XIII-Men. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) September 27, 2021
Was just thinking about bringing back re-fuelling into F1. Maybe not #f1 #fuelshortages
— Damon Hill (@HillF1) September 28, 2021
Technically, it’s Jools Netherlands.
— Thomas James Gray (@ThomasJamesGray) September 28, 2021
It's International #AccessToInfoDay.
— World Health Organization (WHO) (@WHO) September 28, 2021
We are all being exposed to a huge amount of #COVID19 information ℹ️ on a daily basis, & not all of it is reliable.
Here are 7⃣ tips for telling the difference & stopping the spread of misinformation 👇https://t.co/zHONMeH7jW
How long before someone says jammy dodger and Channel 4 have to pay out millions in copyright?#GBBO
— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 28, 2021
The world inside the Bake Off tent: hello competitor in this competition, can you help me please? Thank you for helping. You're a great person
— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 28, 2021
The world outside the Bake Off tent: YES I NEED THESE 11 CANS OF PETROL. LEAVE ME ALONE#GBBO
Stupid sexy Flanders! pic.twitter.com/0bEPZEgpnR
— Sooz "Halloween" Kempner (@SoozUK) September 29, 2021
It’s easy to laugh, but these are big shoes to fill https://t.co/IKrUztRr8L
— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) September 29, 2021
Someone stick a poster up at Number 10. It’s rammed with them. https://t.co/dQxUV6SacG
— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) September 29, 2021
My daughter is 18 and we joke about me having a ‘Mum’s taxi’ sign in my car as I take her places and pick her up so much. I don’t think she actually realises that I do it not just out of love but because I’m truly terrified of her being out walking anywhere on her own.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) September 29, 2021
My husband says I should let our 18 year old daughter become more independent by not giving her lifts everywhere but I don’t think he actually realises just how terrified I am to let her be out walking on her own. Or how terrifying it can be to be a woman out walking on her own.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) September 29, 2021
Sorry we didn't think of using our reserve tanker fleet earlier. I had forgotten that we could use things that don't actually exist.
— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) September 29, 2021
Mole removal: $223
— Midge (@mxmclain) September 28, 2021
Crying: extra pic.twitter.com/4FpC3w0cXu
You wouldn't, no one would. Its terrifying. https://t.co/akn3j4BASJ
— Jess Phillips MP (@jessphillips) September 30, 2021
That’ll explain why the water was very dry and papery pic.twitter.com/PEx8r3d0JA
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) September 30, 2021
absolute husband material https://t.co/xm8TCo67sv
— Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) September 30, 2021
i saw a man bothering a girl standing alone at the train station tonight so i went over to her and pretended to know her and he walked away immediately, she was so thankful n offered me a lift home, pls do this if u see someone bothering a girl on her own !! girls protect girls !
— yasmin🖤🕸 (@g0thspit) September 29, 2021
This pic.twitter.com/chbEo2jrpi
— cluedont (@cluedont) September 30, 2021
modern accidental renaissance pic.twitter.com/PyfowCDUUO
— Rob N Roll (but spooky🎃) (@thegallowboob) September 30, 2021
And no, you do not have a licence to spill.#NoTimeToDie pic.twitter.com/qKe5Dl0mHv
— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 30, 2021
This is not the defence they think it is https://t.co/JoOZ4SuuDQ
— Louise Haigh (@LouHaigh) September 30, 2021
In a row, RIGHT?!!!😳 https://t.co/UdlHx0Ru7o
— Reginald D Hunter (@reginalddhunter) September 29, 2021
Today, I was privileged to meet & interview a number of inspirational people who happen to be refugees. All forced to leave their lives behind & start again in the UK. I've met a former med student, & an Afghan interpreter! Severel will be starting their Timpson careers soon. pic.twitter.com/jHovRzv4Fq
— Darren Burns (@darrenburns60) September 30, 2021
Just got stuck in the shower (don't worry, I got out) and no word of a lie, 'Torn' by Natalie Imbruglia came on the radio. It brings a whole new meaning to the line, 'lying naked on the floor' if you, yourself are lying naked on the floor, kicking the shit out of a shower door.
— Rosie Jones (@josierones) September 30, 2021
To help tackle the impact of plastic waste, we’ve introduced soft plastic recycling points in all of our large stores. Which means you can recycle all of your soft plastics, including crisp packets and salad bags, in-store! Find out more: https://t.co/o0SCIuXxpg #EveryLittleHelps pic.twitter.com/LgwPSPNHjH
— Tesco (@Tesco) September 24, 2021
Well THIS escalated. And boobing breastily has it: protagonist admires own family photo w/ particular admiration for her own lovely knockers. Bless https://t.co/8e33nl0JeR
— Charlotte Mendelson (@CharlotteMende1) September 30, 2021
We're framing this as 'how to prevent another Sarah Everard', and not 'how to prevent another Wayne Couzens'.
— Ash Sarkar (@AyoCaesar) October 1, 2021
Jess Phillips put it well, and simply, on Radio 4 this morning – “I’d have got in the car.”
— Ash Sarkar (@AyoCaesar) October 1, 2021
Most of us would. I would. And that’s because I’d be too scared of what would happen to me if I was deemed to be resisting arrest.
I just saw this on TV and I actually cannot stop laughing pic.twitter.com/xswCrPZy9u
— Zainudeen (@ZainudeenT) September 30, 2021
My all-time favourite pic.twitter.com/HF9AZJKfnj
— j (@JamieTeather) September 30, 2021
Just remembered the time I was looking for a photo frame that holds several photos and found this review for one that still makes me laugh. pic.twitter.com/sYY8PwQZCD
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) September 30, 2021
👣 We are delighted to share that we have named our daughter Sienna Elizabeth Mapelli Mozzi.
— Princess Beatrice of York (@yorkiebea) October 1, 2021
We are all doing well and Wolfie is the best big brother to Sienna. pic.twitter.com/6abMIXDSLT
Since 1960 the warmest 3 month period of the year in the UK has been on average June 13th to September 12th. This #dataviz shows the warmest 3 month period between 1960 and 2021,each day is coloured by temperature. The earliest start to period is 23rd May and latest is 5th July pic.twitter.com/EztHv3t9ws
— Neil Kaye (@neilrkaye) September 30, 2021
Angela Merkel's term compared to other world leaders. Source: https://t.co/MzNI9gSb2z pic.twitter.com/dO2X8cJ622
— Simon Kuestenmacher (@simongerman600) September 30, 2021
Bus drivers can look you dead in the eye and drive off even if you're AT a bus stop. You think they're gonna stop if you're looking distressed anywhere else? https://t.co/5FTsBb9O55
— Faima Bakar (@FaimaBakar) October 1, 2021
Bus drivers must be interested to learn they have as of today been granted third party policing powers by the Met, requiring them to arbitrate in public arrests as requested. No word as yet on compensation/training for this enormously expanded remit. https://t.co/yfOEEY0lvu
— Catherine Bray (@catherinebray) October 1, 2021
Oh My!!! this is both terrifying and funny at the same time…but it certainly puts our position in the World in perspective!! https://t.co/BJ6sKORn6v
— Deborah Meaden 💙 (@DeborahMeaden) September 29, 2021
It’s sort of amazing we now live in a country where a banker can pay @borisjohnson £147k for a seat in the cabinet and I haven’t seen a single peep about it on any news bulletin. #3rdworldcountry
— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) October 1, 2021
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?