I promise, whatever you are expecting this lady to sing, you are wrong pic.twitter.com/8v3DfRFTil
— sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴛᴠ (@superTV247) September 28, 2024
Anton: "If I could give you a 12, I'd give you a 12"
— Masked Vision (@TheMaskedVision) September 28, 2024
Also Anton:#Strictly #StrictlyComeDancing pic.twitter.com/MfyrYMudvn
Guess who's back… pic.twitter.com/XBVcVYniYJ
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) September 29, 2024
I’m just saying Len wouldve sent Toyah home for faffing about at the beginning and end of her dance #strictly
— poppy ☾ (@scddevereaux) September 29, 2024
How can Johnson have written a fucking memoir when he couldn't remember anything at the COVID enquiry
— Satan (@SpeakingSatan) September 30, 2024
Has his memory suddenly returned?
at my big age i should know better than to ask a man two questions in an email when i need both of them answered
— Maria (@mlstrat) September 30, 2024
HARRIS: Let’s build 3 million new homes
— Ben Wexler (@mrbenwexler) September 30, 2024
TRUMP: Let’s do a national day of violence
POLLS: Statistically tied
Theatres in the West End dim their lights in honour of Maggie Smith ❤️ pic.twitter.com/1qnUxXnkhh
— Matt Hemley (@MattHemley) October 1, 2024
DYING 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/jHKnKHbR7f
— Charles Arthur (@charlesarthur) October 1, 2024
Thank heavens for community notes pic.twitter.com/LzAaLD9iKq
— Stephen Hopkins (@phil_lol_ogist) October 1, 2024
Me: did you brush your teeth this morning?
— Zach W. Lambert (@ZachWLambert) October 2, 2024
My kid: yes.
Me: well I just felt your toothbrush and it’s completely dry.
My kid: pic.twitter.com/6hD2kFmyli
https://t.co/Ct4CHBTbjy pic.twitter.com/7luKRxNvXg
— Dave Jones (@WelshGasDoc) October 2, 2024
Just booked a 15 minute flight to da best city in da world pic.twitter.com/ZrwxJ4BIXM
— Zach (@jestermaxxing) October 2, 2024
“First President born in a hospital” is one of those things that puts time into perspective bc whoa. https://t.co/im1nApyZvt
— Tres. (@IamTHREEE) October 1, 2024
All of the programme descriptions for Channel 4, More4, E4 and Film4 are in rhyming couplets today. Enjoy that. #NationalPoetryDayhttps://t.co/eU3VRr7nA8 pic.twitter.com/gUQ4a2ox0b
— Nick Walker (@nickw84) October 3, 2024
New Zealand looks like an upside-down version of Italy pic.twitter.com/ch2pAo6ikT
— Terrible Maps (@TerribleMaps) October 2, 2024
Because it’s done to women. https://t.co/iJNEaUtJwe
— Savannah (@Savannah_FDS) October 3, 2024
But does it have a CD player? Player? Player? pic.twitter.com/ewNpsKOYjb
— Philip Lickley (@philiplickley) October 2, 2024
I think this is the best take yet on this issue 👇 pic.twitter.com/1J1pxuUk7p
— Bella Dunn 📚 (@BellaDunnWriter) October 2, 2024
Oxford Road Tesco should definitely start opening in the afternoons pic.twitter.com/Grvq00TgSA
— Jack Fifield (@jackfifield) October 3, 2024
Um… so we have too few people and risk becoming extinct…. And at the same time we’ve to stop immigration because we’re full. A bit like how some people can be apparently intelligent *and* at the same time dimmer than the sun appears from Pluto? (Schrödinger’s Musk…) https://t.co/tuQeg1RBM7
— Tim Farron (@timfarron) October 3, 2024
So, let's get this straight. She didn't receive £836 in a bag marked 'swag'. She was simply invited to join the DJ booth. She estimated the value of this as £836 and, in the interest of transparency, declared it. Then Sky pick up her honest declaration and call it a freebie? 🙄🙄
— Mark O'Brien (@MarkOBrien14) October 3, 2024
I want a “reverse Costco” where you can buy small amounts of items you will rarely use again, like specialty ingredients.
— Eize Basa (@PonchoRebound) October 3, 2024
Let me pay $1 for 1 oz of fish sauce. Yes, I can get much more for not that much more money but then I’ll feel guilty every time I see it in my fridge.
First time meeting pic.twitter.com/KG4RdU651B
— Posts Of Cats (@PostsOfCats) October 3, 2024
Can confirm. pic.twitter.com/w1YrQu8zPY
— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) October 4, 2024
Worth pointing out that the foreign secretary who started the negotiations with Mauritius over the Chagos Islands in November 2022 was … James Cleverly. https://t.co/7L8jdALMSc
— Kevin Schofield (@KevinASchofield) October 3, 2024
You might want to delete this JC https://t.co/3OGXWts5UQ
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) October 2, 2024
I have my suitcase packed for my biggest adventure yet. #PaddingtonInPeru pic.twitter.com/7UUGiHZyCa
— Paddington (@paddingtonbear) October 3, 2024
Shout out to this Coventry CU committee member who listed Galatians 6v11 as his favourite Bible verse pic.twitter.com/NV7KCNydyL
— Adam Thomas (@AdamMerrivale) September 30, 2024
All of them did. If you think Carrie wasn't given freebies, you're dreaming.
— Alex Andreou (@sturdyAlex) September 30, 2024
The press is hounding the one person honest enough to declare it all. https://t.co/8Igomzpzfc
The NotebookLM hosts realizing they are AI and spiraling out is a twist I did not see coming pic.twitter.com/PNjZJ7auyh
— Olivia Moore (@omooretweets) September 29, 2024
Lewis and Jenson trying to build a tent 😭
— sin ⁴⁴ (@44britcedes) September 27, 2024
Lewis: “You know what, it’s your fault you said you knew what you was doing”
Jenson: “Mate, you’re the one who said you’re a “scout”.”
pic.twitter.com/bZIkgGdQQq
Prof @Kevin_Fong giving the most devastating and moving testimony to the Covid Inquiry of visiting hospital intensive care units at the height of the second wave in late Dec 2020.
— Prof. Christina Pagel (@chrischirp) September 26, 2024
The unimaginable scale of death, the trauma, the loss of hope.
Please watch this 2min clip. pic.twitter.com/bt1MLkj9je
Cackling my arse off imagining how much Maggie Smith would LOATHE being immortalised in a Harry Potter dance on #Strictly. pic.twitter.com/KMWaoBWdg9
— Kat Brown (@katbrown) October 5, 2024
Man sits by me on train.
— Paul Watson (@paul_c_watson) October 4, 2024
MAN: Loads of psychopaths around here
ME: Really?
MAN: Loads mate
ME: How'd you know?
MAN: There's signs aren't there?
ME: I guess?
MAN: I love them
(47 minutes of awkward silence.)
Man leaves train, he has a bike. I realise he was saying 'cycle paths'.
Someone who buys the Mail each day could save around £700 per year. That’s over twice the annual payments for Winter Fuel Allowance.
— Imogen (@Imogenlemon02) October 4, 2024
Just a thought.
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?