The Correct Order of Biscuits – by Adam Sharp

11 06 2025

I have zero recollection where I discovered this book, I’d have guessed it was on twitter, but I realised yesterday that I wasn’t even following the author, so who knows, but either way, a book of lists can only be a good thing!

I don’t think this was quite everything it could have been, some of the lists got a bit same-y (eg. there were a lot of lists of literal translations of idioms from other languages), but not in a way that stopped it being enjoyable.

A few lists got confusing where they definitely started as lists of things that were real, but then some were clearly made up, but it wasn’t abundantly clear when that changed. I think when I see a list, I like it to be all real or all made up, but not a mixture.

Anyway, overall it was good fun, and here is a list of some of my favourite lists:

  • A list of unnecessary, needless, and gratuitous tautologies
    • eg. “Nodded her head (what else would she nod?)” and “Past experience”
  • A list of contemporary curses for your worst enemy
    • eg. “May you forever put your USB in upside down” and “May all your snacks be really healthy”
  • A list of fun alternatives for existing words
    • eg. “Food library (fridge)” and “Milk racist (lactose intolerant)”
  • A list of proposed to meanings for existing words
    • eg. “The word flattery should mean flat battery in a car (because it gets you nowhere)”
  • A list of the worst types of list
    • Most of these were things like “click bait lists”, and “to-do lists”, but also, “colonialists”
  • A bonus list of the single best title for a research paper ever
    • “In March 2006 Professor Daniel M. Oppenheimer published a paper that argued writers seem more intelligent when using simple words than fancy ones. His paper was titled ‘Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity'”

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