ineke.co.uk

Jimmy Carr, "The world is in turmoil. You know the guy who used to present, you know The Apprentice in the States"

Lisa Kudrow, "Mmhmm"

Jimmy Carr, "There's a guy called Donald Trump who used to present that. And he's now got a new show, it's called: The News"

"It is f*cking… pic.twitter.com/71xeI4aBWf

— Farrukh (@implausibleblog) March 27, 2026

omg the audience's reaction when Conan made this joke during his Oscars opening monologue

"It's the first time since 2012 that there are no British actors nominated for Best Actor or Best Actress. A British spokesperson said, 'Yeah, well, at least we arrest our pedophiles.'" pic.twitter.com/A2rB49JNLy

— Spencer Althouse (@SpencerAlthouse) March 15, 2026

In 2021, after 6 years of shopping at my local Sainsbury’s and tracking where I parked each time on a spreadsheet, I completed all 211 parking spots the store had to offer. In 2024 I moved to a new town – and guess what I’ve been busy doing since 🙂 A thread 🧵

— Gareth Wild (@GarethWild) March 10, 2026

NHS hospital: I noticed the clock on the wall showed the wrong time.

A nurse told me they knew, but they wouldn’t report it because replacing the battery through the NHS would cost £70.

A £2 battery… £70. How? Why?

That's when I began to dig further.
🧵

— Rebecca Ryder 💙 (@rebecca_ryder21) March 13, 2026

Elizabeth I never marrying or having kids is the least mysterious things about her yet historians are like “Was she too ugly? Infertile? A control freak? Frigid?” Not a psychiatrist but your dad beheading your mum to marry 4 more women might make you question the institution.

— Sarasaurus 🎗️🇺🇦 (@sheebadigeebies) February 15, 2026

What's so amazing about Jim Henson as a puppeteer is that he could literally be explaining that Kermit is made out of felt and ping pong balls and yet Kermit still feels alive the whole time he's doing it! pic.twitter.com/Lt109Cvr51

— MaaikeDx 🖌 (@RembrandtsRoom) February 15, 2026

https://t.co/AcM6cE5CLd pic.twitter.com/tTkzSNOmc3

— Chu ⛸️ (@chu_sk8terboi) February 6, 2026

Take me back to the days when Phoebe Buffay was in charge of ice not Donald Trump pic.twitter.com/lTfL87QvhU

— Parody Chandler Bing (@ChandlerBing_12) January 26, 2026

Celine Dion has come out in support of farmers by removing all the consonants from her name.

— 💂🏻‍♀️👋🏻вєαя🍻🇬🇧™ (@BigBearF1) January 24, 2026

I have not been following the news closely today but as I understand it one of the Beckham children has sent a letter to the Nobel committee demanding he be allowed to get married on Greenland to a woman from the Chagos Islands.

— RS Archer (@archer_rs) January 20, 2026

The best way of describing someone who’s all talk and no action that I’ve ever heard in the UK, by far, is “they’re all wardrobe and no Narnia.”

— Adam Sharp (@AdamCSharp) January 22, 2026

Education is key.
Arf pic.twitter.com/uNtflPwr4g

— Elaine Miller | Venus Envy (@GussieGrips) January 22, 2026