Elf!

28 12 2014

This evening I introduced my parents to the film Elf – definitely one of the best Christmas films there is – and one of them stayed awake the whole time…!

It’s such a quoteable film, I wrote down all my favourite one-liners, and bunged in a couple of YouTube clips for when you can’t explain it with words… Enjoy!

    “The three rules for elves:

  1. Treat every day like Christmas
  2. There’s room for everyone on the nice list
  3. The best way of spreading Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear”

“I’m a cotton headed ninny-muggins.”

“Of course you’re not an elf. You’re six-foot-three and had a beard since you were fifteen.”

“You did it, congratulations! World’s best cup of coffee! Great job everybody, it’s great to be here!”

“I’d love to ride the rest of the way up, with you but this is where my Dad works – Oh I forgot to give you a hug!”

“I’m here with my dad
And we never met
And he wants me to sing him a song
And I was adopted, but you didn’t know I was born
So I’m here now
I found you, Daddy
And guess what, I love you, I love you, I love youuuuuuuu!”

“What’s a Christmas-gram?! I want one!”

“I like to whisper too!”

“Hey! Have you seen these toilets? They’re gi-normous!”

“I just like to smile, smiling’s my favourite!”

“Santa!!!! I know him, I know him!”

“I’m singing
I’m in a store and I’m singing
I’m in a store and I’m singing!!!”

“You sit on a throne of lies”

“You smell like beef and cheese, you don’t smell like Santa”

“I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.”

“Well technically I’m a human, but I was raised by elves.”

“I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.”

    “We elves try to stick to the four main food groups:

  • Candy
  • Candy Canes
  • Candy Corn
  • Syrup”

“[I slept] great! I got a full forty minutes, and even had time to make that rocking horse!”

“First we’ll make snow angels for a two hours, then we’ll go ice skating, then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookie dough as fast as we can, and then we’ll snuggle.”

“So, good news, I saw a dog today.”

“Son of a nutcracker!”

“I think you’re really beautiful and I feel really warm when I’m around you and my tongue swells up. So… do you wanna eat food?”

“That’s a nice purple dress, very purpley”

“Francisco, that’s fun to say!”

“You have such a pretty face you should be on a Christmas card!”

“Buddy the Elf, what’s your favourite colour?!”

“This place reminds me of Santa’s Workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.”

“What about this: a tribe of asparagus children, but they’re self-conscious about the way their pee smells?”

“I’m sorry I ruined your lives and crammed cookies in the VCR.”

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