Elf!

28 12 2014

This evening I introduced my parents to the film Elf – definitely one of the best Christmas films there is – and one of them stayed awake the whole time…!

It’s such a quoteable film, I wrote down all my favourite one-liners, and bunged in a couple of YouTube clips for when you can’t explain it with words… Enjoy!

    “The three rules for elves:

  1. Treat every day like Christmas
  2. There’s room for everyone on the nice list
  3. The best way of spreading Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear”

“I’m a cotton headed ninny-muggins.”

“Of course you’re not an elf. You’re six-foot-three and had a beard since you were fifteen.”

“You did it, congratulations! World’s best cup of coffee! Great job everybody, it’s great to be here!”

“I’d love to ride the rest of the way up, with you but this is where my Dad works – Oh I forgot to give you a hug!”

“I’m here with my dad
And we never met
And he wants me to sing him a song
And I was adopted, but you didn’t know I was born
So I’m here now
I found you, Daddy
And guess what, I love you, I love you, I love youuuuuuuu!”

“What’s a Christmas-gram?! I want one!”

“I like to whisper too!”

“Hey! Have you seen these toilets? They’re gi-normous!”

“I just like to smile, smiling’s my favourite!”

“Santa!!!! I know him, I know him!”

“I’m singing
I’m in a store and I’m singing
I’m in a store and I’m singing!!!”

“You sit on a throne of lies”

“You smell like beef and cheese, you don’t smell like Santa”

“I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.”

“Well technically I’m a human, but I was raised by elves.”

“I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.”

    “We elves try to stick to the four main food groups:

  • Candy
  • Candy Canes
  • Candy Corn
  • Syrup”

“[I slept] great! I got a full forty minutes, and even had time to make that rocking horse!”

“First we’ll make snow angels for a two hours, then we’ll go ice skating, then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookie dough as fast as we can, and then we’ll snuggle.”

“So, good news, I saw a dog today.”

“Son of a nutcracker!”

“I think you’re really beautiful and I feel really warm when I’m around you and my tongue swells up. So… do you wanna eat food?”

“That’s a nice purple dress, very purpley”

“Francisco, that’s fun to say!”

“You have such a pretty face you should be on a Christmas card!”

“Buddy the Elf, what’s your favourite colour?!”

“This place reminds me of Santa’s Workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.”

“What about this: a tribe of asparagus children, but they’re self-conscious about the way their pee smells?”

“I’m sorry I ruined your lives and crammed cookies in the VCR.”





Wisdom from the Jones ladies on Worship

16 07 2013

Just before I went to uni I had drinks with my friend Kim and her mum Shona. All of the ladies in this family have the most beautiful voices, and we had the immense privilege of having Shona leading worship in church on Sunday’s with that beautiful Scottish lilt we miss so much.

The beauty of their voices came up in conversation, and I joked how obviously I’d never match up to them, and they shared this wonderful concept with me, which I now share with you if you’ve never had much confidence in your own ‘worship’ voice.

They told me how God has this worship filter. Where we hear the quality of the voice, that’s all sifted out. What He hears is the pureness of heart, the meaning and sincerity behind what is being sung. That which is sung in all honesty and passion is what sounds most beautiful to Him. You could have the most beautiful voice in the world, but if you didn’t mean a word you sang, it’d sound tone deaf to Him.

What a lovely thought!





Great lines from: 10 Things I hate about you

29 06 2013

A while ago I talked about my favourite chick flicks, so here’s some of the best lines from 10 Things I Hate About You 🙂


“Yea but see there’s a difference between like and love, because I like my sketchers, but I love my Prada backpack”

“But I love my sketchers”

“That’s because you don’t have a Prada backpack”

“Oh!”


“I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?”

“I think you can in Europe!”


“Where did you come from? Planet Loser?”

“As opposed to planet look-at-me look-at-me?”


“Maybe if we were the last two people alive, and there were no sheep. Are there sheep?!”


“My fenders don’t exactly whip me into a verbal frenzy”


“Woops?! My insurance does not cover PMS!”


“Mr Stratford it’s just a party!”

“And hell is just a sauna”


“Now that, right there – who needs affection when I have blind hatred!”


“Just because you’re beautiful it doesn’t mean you can treat people like they don’t matter”


“Now, I know Shakespeare’s a dead white guy, but he knows his ****, so we can overlook that”


“Cos I know you’re a fan of Shakespeare”

“More than a fan, we’re involved”

“Ok…”


“That was until she kissed me”

“Where?”

“In the car”


“You’re looking at this from entirely the wrong perspective, we’re making a statement”

“Oh goodie! Something new and different for us!”


“Why should I live up to other peoples expectations rather than my own?”


“I’ve got news for you, kissing isn’t what keeps me up to my elbows in placenta all day long”


“What’s normal? Those Dawson’s River kids sleeping in each other’s beds and what not?”


“*That*’s for making my date bleed, *that*’s for my sister, and *that*’s for me”


“I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair,
I hate it when you drive my car, I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind,
I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you’re always right, I hate it when you lie,
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact you didn’t call,
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,
not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”


“It’s not every day you find a girl who’ll flash someone to get you out of detention”


“You can’t just buy me a guitar every time you screw up you know?”

“Yea I know. But then there’s always drums and bass and maybe even one day a tambourine!”