Incredible parenting tweets from Ryan Reynolds
How to make the most of Bank Holiday Monday:
1. Find comfiest furniture
2. Lie on it
3. Wait until Tuesday.— innocent drinks (@innocent) May 2, 2016
Saying "look I don't mind what we do" in increasing levels of frustration until the weekend's over
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) April 30, 2016
We should all be able to select our own Bank Holidays. What's the point of being off work if everyone else is too?
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) May 2, 2016
Knocking on the door of an introvert is like tapping on the glass of a fish tank https://t.co/KviHkU6BZj
— Shower Thoughts (@shwr_thoughts) May 1, 2016
Wise advice from the biggest bird himself! #MondayMotivation pic.twitter.com/H1tSBycY8R
— Sesame Street (@sesamestreet) May 2, 2016
This zoo will name a cockroach after your ex https://t.co/VRhVVjYuoj pic.twitter.com/KvMeHWeRIV
— indy100 (@indy100) May 2, 2016
Leicester City. Champions of England. pic.twitter.com/WRwfysTn2N
— Leicester City (@LCFC) May 2, 2016
Labour's problem with antisemitism holding you back from voting for them? This handy guide might help. pic.twitter.com/WsAv3ulqwY
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) May 4, 2016
Hats off to the Guardian Cryptic Crossword setter for using both 'Amazeballs' (11a) and 'Fnaar Fnaar' (22a) in today's puzzle.
— Dave Gorman (@DaveGorman) May 5, 2016
A sunny UK south coast today – where I grew up (not that I really ever grew up!) pic.twitter.com/lNF9tez3Rn
— Tim Peake (@astro_timpeake) May 5, 2016
Is this the worst newspaper poll ever published?https://t.co/oEWYd8okxS pic.twitter.com/8Q0uA9pOAN
— The Poke (@ThePoke) May 5, 2016
Bored businessman makes ridiculous requests to hotel staff to pass the timehttps://t.co/Mn9ZIgPuBY pic.twitter.com/o2TKq8rSwG
— The Poke (@ThePoke) May 5, 2016
You want kids to do well at school? Make them love learning. For its own sake. Stress kills natural curiosity, I reckon.
— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) May 4, 2016
And so it turns out that Nellie the Elephant was an apocalyptic prophecy:
"Off she went with a Trumpetty-trump. Trump. Trump. Trump."
— Martin Saunders ن (@martinsaunders) May 4, 2016
May 4th. Cold last week, but warm today. The brave venture out without a coat, others panic and leave the house in all the clothes they own.
— innocent drinks (@innocent) May 4, 2016
Here's some perspective – look how much the Leicester squad cost!
https://t.co/StZS0LKULJ #LCFCChampions#LCFC pic.twitter.com/ZQLzp48Ilj
— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) May 3, 2016
American TV think Tottenham won the league 😂 pic.twitter.com/WWcPZElhoG
— 90thMin (@90thMin) May 3, 2016
Hello @theJeremyVine Looks like the whole country has voted Lib-Dem! pic.twitter.com/PZdlhBHhYX
— Mr Benn (@therealmrbenn) May 5, 2016
KFC is making nail polish that tastes like chicken https://t.co/qAkvkUh86d
— The Independent (@Independent) May 5, 2016
If Sadiq Khan wins London, I will run naked down Regent Street with a sausage up my bum in protest #LondonMayor2016
— Katie Hopkins (@KTHopkins) May 4, 2016
It's Saturday. It's warm. Its going to be even warmer tomorrow. It's probably the happiest the nation has ever been.
— innocent drinks (@innocent) May 7, 2016
Also anxiety makes you a better writer. It can't not. You are tuned into EVERYTHING.
— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) May 7, 2016
View this post on Instagram#fairtrade #banana #fun #facts #illustration
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View this post on InstagramEat carbs not puppies. 📸 via @thefatjewish #animalantics
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View this post on InstagramPoor sharks. 📸 via @9gag #animalantics
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