ineke.co.uk

“Jesus Is Coming — Hopefully Before the Election” — church sign

— Lee Strobel (@LeeStrobel) September 12, 2016

Did you know that #Victoria's Dash played the dog in #TheYoungVictoria too? https://t.co/p88wH6InMu pic.twitter.com/DsvmKG7Q3b

— Radio Times (@RadioTimes) September 11, 2016

If you laugh and cry at the same time, a rainbow-coloured moustache will appear on your face.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) September 11, 2016

Elderly man in WHSmith.
Assistant: “Sir, would you like to use the self-service till?”
Man: “Absolutely not. I shan't engage with robots.”

— Al Fox (@MrAlFox) March 2, 2015

I'm a little Mozart
Schubert stout
Here is my Handel
Here is my Strauss
Verdi get all steamed up
Haydn shout
Liszt me up and Dvořák out

— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) March 19, 2015

Meanings of "interesting"
1. Interesting
2. Remarkably boring
3. Suspicious
4. Curious
5. I'm afraid I'm not listening
6. You've lost me

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) November 15, 2015

BBC lost bake off? I can't bear it. Breadxit

— Kirstie H (@kirstieh) September 12, 2016

Look at them all. Mary, Paul, Mel, Sue. This was filmed so long ago. They're so happy. They have no idea. THEY DON'T KNOW. #GBBO

— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 14, 2016

The Ultimate Headphone Catcher
•Lightweight
•One size fits all
•Super sassy pic.twitter.com/ihLSSgpFTt

— Carphone Warehouse (@CPWTweets) September 14, 2016

Perhaps they could combine the two into a single product called…oh I don't know, headphones? https://t.co/5M8xAZAjdU

— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) September 13, 2016

Ellen should give away more stuff like Oprah and rename her show Ellen de Generous https://t.co/W3rqFrS4p3

— Shower Thoughts (@shwr_thoughts) September 13, 2016

Looking into rumours that Games of Thrones is coming to Channel 4. With Jon Snow playing Jon Snow. #GBBO

— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) September 13, 2016

Without Mel and Sue it just isn't Bake Off. @Channel4 has just bought a tent. #GBBO

— Richard Burr (@RichardPBurr) September 13, 2016

Another one of my life mantras on #RoaldDahlDay (and it's true) pic.twitter.com/9AQfBPvs1Q

— Nat Ⓥ (@__nca) September 13, 2016

'Kindness – that simple word.To be kind' #RoaldDahlDay pic.twitter.com/cH9SsLkDZ5

— Age UK Oldham (@ageukoldham) September 13, 2016

how small does bread have to be to be a crumb

— Bea_ker (@bea_ker) September 15, 2016

Libraries aren't just about books. They are almost the only public space we have left which don't like our wallets more than us.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) September 15, 2016

Evolution of New York's Skyline since 1876. pic.twitter.com/C9JQI59amH

— Historical Pics (@HistoricalPics) September 14, 2016

My roommate that I haven't even met… pic.twitter.com/OkJwUF8LGp

— Winnie (@miniwinnieee) September 1, 2016