ineke.co.uk

Window is from a Viking word for 'wind's eye'. Before that it was an 'eye-thirl', eye-hole (a nose-thirl was a nose-hole, hence nostril).

— Susie Dent (@susie_dent) October 1, 2016

I can't face another referendum pic.twitter.com/mKAih0yEfN

— Joe Thomas (@producerjoe) September 29, 2016

I like to use @richardosman's term for the lingering state between sleep and wakefulness: buffering. I've been buffering for an hour.

— Susie Dent (@susie_dent) September 29, 2016

En nuestro número de octubre: pic.twitter.com/xhMFnU9ttR

— Letras Libres (@Letras_Libres) September 28, 2016

You reach into your wallet for the photo you carry of Mel, Sue, Paul and Mary. But they're disappearing. There isn't much time. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/BHL4QiFXIg

— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 21, 2016

Paul Hollywood sits in a tent with life-sized bread copies of Mel, Sue and Mary. "Can't wait for series 8," he says. They don't answer #GBBO

— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 22, 2016

FUNFACT

is German for 'five act'.

I imagine.

— Dave Gorman (@DaveGorman) September 23, 2016

Word of the day: prozvonit (Czech) – to call someone’s mobile so that they have your phone number

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) September 25, 2016

"Shall I just order a bit of everything and we can all share?"

No

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) September 25, 2016

Things Monday would do:
– add milk first
– talk in a lift
– eat the last biscuit
– pop round unannounced
– sit in your reserved seat

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) September 25, 2016

Hillary Clinton belongs in the White House. Donald Trump belongs on my show.

— Jerry Springer (@jerryspringer) September 27, 2016

One day, Donald Trump is going to look a reporter straight in the eyes on national TV and say "I never ran for President."

— matt aukamp (@mattaukamp) July 19, 2016

At Tory Party Conference, Theresa May says it is vital to take control of our borders, mainly to stop our doctors leaving.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) October 4, 2016

1. Cant believe its not butter
2. Mad its not butter
3. What can I do to make it butter
4. Sad its not butter
5. I accept it is not butter

— vince (@vints) September 19, 2016

Swedish wasn't the official language of Sweden until 2009.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) September 17, 2016

A reminder of how close Donald Trump is to the end of his list of things to say or do to get out of being President. pic.twitter.com/XgSEfMOv4c

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) September 17, 2016

Right but why do they hold the Genovian Independence Day Ball in San Francisco and not Genovia?

— Aaron (@AaronBoardley) September 16, 2016

There's only one thing I hate more than lying and that is skimmed milk which is water lying about being milk…

R. Swanson

— Dr Krish Kandiah OBE (@krishk) September 16, 2016

Can someone please tell the characters in Eastenders that they could sell their houses for £1m tomorrow and leave all their problems behind?

— Julian Dutton 🎭📚T🎟️🇬🇧 (@JulianDutton1) September 19, 2016

the thing about Brexpitt is they are both now in the *single market*

[gets bundled into a car]

— Esther Webber (@estwebber) September 20, 2016

Now #Brangelina have split, I guess they'll revert to the original names of Brange and Lina

— Michael Hogan (@michaelhogan) September 20, 2016

pic.twitter.com/PQPfGDAHmL

— Viz Comic (@vizcomic) September 3, 2015

pic.twitter.com/XxGGBXhEyG

— Viz Comic (@vizcomic) March 19, 2015

pic.twitter.com/xTnqAbKwhj

— Viz Comic (@vizcomic) April 16, 2016

pic.twitter.com/NVn6hACNoL

— Viz Comic (@vizcomic) January 16, 2016

October 7th. Half the country has that bug going around. The healthy live in fear, stockpiling Lemsip, wondering when their time will come.

— innocent drinks (@innocent) October 7, 2016

I am a patriot. Patriots love their country, nationalists hate their neighbours – our Prime Minister has the two confused.

— Tim Farron (@timfarron) October 5, 2016

I'm sick of people saying bread isn't good for you… Jesus did not say he was the broccoli of life ok??? Give us this day our daily kale??

— tweets (julia’s version) (@JustbeingJuls) September 28, 2016

The Very Hungry Caterpillar taught me that I can binge eat carbs and then take a two week nap and I'll become beautiful.

— Naazihah (@naazihah) January 23, 2013

Do I just call you or should we resolve this quickly with 200 text messages?

— Sandra (@Sanbel11) June 15, 2016

genius idea alert: @vanmoof bikes had problem with shipping damage. So it put flat TVs on its boxes. Problem solved. pic.twitter.com/dsomNATUoY

— Jason Gay (@jasongay) September 4, 2016

Test Of A True Christian? https://t.co/1pV4l2nAeE pic.twitter.com/SnHepeS3da

— The Church Sofa (@TheChurchSofa) September 26, 2016

.@alex_brooker caused quite a stir last night when he talked about his hero Alex Zanardi @lxznr #thelastleg pic.twitter.com/3AzT4ajxE7

— The Last Leg (@TheLastLeg) September 16, 2016

. @RevKevDeYoung looks at what the Bible says about gender identity and gender confusion. #TheNewNormalhttps://t.co/A0oL5JK3Jq pic.twitter.com/3WJ75sk9tQ

— Christian Concern (@CConcern) September 23, 2016

It's fine. Nothing will actually happen until Mary Berry triggers Arctic Roll 50. #Breadxit #GBBO

— Claire Davies (@cloudavies) September 12, 2016

Following the news that has shocked celebrity watchers worldwide, we can confirm we have separated Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's figures. pic.twitter.com/2juLFaZJED

— Madame Tussauds London (@MadameTussauds) September 21, 2016