ineke.co.uk

You type away on that jpg John pic.twitter.com/tnurdBuoQz

— Rick (@thebookbeard) January 2, 2017

Dry January? Why don't you drink sensibly all year round instead?

— ✈️ olly 🏳️‍🌈 (@olly_ski_sail) January 3, 2017

Hope everyone remembered their #backtowork badge today… pic.twitter.com/aWIflasrZD

— Channel 4 (@Channel4) January 3, 2017

Me to daughters: “Watch Dr Watson. Stable, strong, loyal.”

[Watson betrays wife, is rude to #Sherlock]

“Girls it’s past your bedtime now”

— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) January 2, 2017

'We are not bodies with souls. We are souls with bodies.' C.S Lewis #shine #madeforeternity #bright pic.twitter.com/WipaMEu0oZ

— Rachel Gardner (@RachelGardnerRA) January 2, 2017

Fish and chip delivery person told to “get me some Benylin on the way … I'm dying sick” https://t.co/GZluagnyQh

— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) January 2, 2017

People that have 364 days annual leave per year –

1. Santa
2. The Easter Bunny
3. Jools Holland

— The Poke (@ThePoke) January 1, 2017

Wow, Enid Blyton has turned it up a notch in 2017. https://t.co/Mqst4WhoYd

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) January 1, 2017

Happy new year everyone! In the words of Nelson Mandela- 'May your choices reflect your hopes not your fears'. X

— Tim Vine (@RealTimVine) January 1, 2017

You literally have 76 tantrums a week on social media when a woman shows a boob https://t.co/f0tncQ40Zk

— Jack (@j4ckwalsh) December 29, 2016

Worst. Perfume. Name. Ever. pic.twitter.com/9dSIMx3MWf

— Joe Harland (@TheJoeHarland) October 8, 2016

ME: I'll see you in a month
WIFE: Don't forget to write
ME: It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, Sharon

— Marty Lawrence (@TeaAndCopy) July 26, 2016

Rare photo of the UK leaving the EU. pic.twitter.com/beA3LsJ8f0

— Matt Keay (@solilokeay) July 24, 2016

Looks like the government's job ad for ambassador to the EU is already up.
(done for @huffpostukcom) pic.twitter.com/e9OoMIdpCh

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) January 4, 2017

Here's a bit of trivia that I'm 'all shook up' about…#NationalTriviaDay pic.twitter.com/gRFoVsiYVb

— Hacker T Dog (@HackerTDog) January 4, 2017

Idiots aside, people have different views to you because they're standing sonewhere different. Wave across the valley, don't throw stones.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) January 4, 2017

This map shows the shortest pub crawl that’ll take you through every pub in the UKhttps://t.co/Vw2KwejEAy pic.twitter.com/lCf1Rb4y9p

— The Poke (@ThePoke) January 4, 2017

Dear followers, get off to a good start to 2017 and watch the end of a friendship. Thank you #pointless. Thank you. pic.twitter.com/V87JicODIA

— T! (@Tartantrums) January 2, 2017

Happy New Year to all, including my many opponents who fought hard for what they believe. May 2017 bring us unity, peace, harmony and love. https://t.co/WtTDpqcnuU

— PresidentialTrump (@MatureTrumpTwts) December 31, 2016

I reckon this bottle actually holds way more than 500ml. pic.twitter.com/Q4b2DlMD8T

— Adam Hills (@adamhillscomedy) January 6, 2017

I just realised it's the 1 yr anniversary of the greatest Come Dine With Me moment of all time – if you've never seen it, watch it now pic.twitter.com/j99nAgyCNV

— Luke Bailey (@imbadatlife) January 4, 2017

"A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle."

Benjamin Franklin

— Steve Chalke (@SteveChalke) January 7, 2017

being violent and drunk in Japan sounds amazing pic.twitter.com/mfTETfjQwj

— Thomas Gorton (@AngstromHoot) January 6, 2017

These robotic cats are designed to soothe the suffering of people with Alzheimer's and dementia pic.twitter.com/WA5PjgemYV

— Sky News (@SkyNews) January 7, 2017