ineke.co.uk

I don't think that's the correct use of heavy machinery. pic.twitter.com/uQSCBr4Ggc

— Work Safety Fails (@FailsWork) May 21, 2017

Good morning. Another day, another 5ft squirrel trying to break into my car. pic.twitter.com/8Er21o3wla

— Paul Bronks (@virtuallydead) April 28, 2017

Theresa May has been PM for 10 months and has U-turned on: Brexit, NI rise, workers on boards, snap election, her entire social care policy

— Jon Stone (@joncstone) May 22, 2017

If the General Election is a tie, then Louis Walsh gets to decide the winner.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) May 22, 2017

Huh? pic.twitter.com/VKoteWWX9Y

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) May 21, 2017

Tories now rewriting their election manifesto FOUR DAYS after publishing it. This isn't "strong and stable", but weak and wobbly! PLS RT!! pic.twitter.com/uokwx6vM1X

— Thom Brooks (@thom_brooks) May 22, 2017

Entrance to the Tower of London used to be free if you brough a cat or dog to feed the lions.

— The QI Elves (@qikipedia) May 20, 2017

PM says she is "100% committed” to Brexit and has been since she told everyone it was a terrible idea and voted against it.

— HaveIGotNewsForYou (@haveigotnews) May 22, 2017

Tory Manifesto.docx
Tory Manifesto 2nd Draft.docx
Tory Manifesto FINAL.docx
Tory Manifesto FINAL FINAL.docx
Tory Manifesto FINAL FINAL2.docx

— Dan Douglas (@dandouglas) May 22, 2017

It feels so trite to say 'praying' in the face of tragedy but it's all I have to give. #prayingformanchester victims and emergency services

— Katharine W-R (@kwelbyroberts) May 23, 2017

Maybe, just as the political parties suspended campaigning, we should all suspend tweeting. Not sure how flinging rage at each other helps.

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) May 23, 2017

Blaming 1.7 billion Muslims – a quarter of the world – for the actions of one person is ludicrous and dangerous and a disgrace.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) May 23, 2017

Fantastic work by #Newsround. They should just take over the rolling coverage:

pic.twitter.com/UxSNBlxukP

— Tamal Ray (@DrRayBakes) May 23, 2017

Did you know antelope can jump higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs. Also, the average house cannot jump…

— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) May 24, 2017

We're British. I don't get scared until the threat level hits "Replacement Bus Service".

— Jeremy Cook (@Jeremy_JCook) May 24, 2017

Donald unaware his exorcism was about to start. pic.twitter.com/vlymUyI9Xm

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) May 24, 2017

#BritishThreatLevels David Attenborough trending

— Thomas Jones (@tomj191) May 24, 2017

You tiny, tiny, tiny little man.
pic.twitter.com/mP3mad6cMt

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 25, 2017

Katie Hopkins is an extremist. People need to understand that you can look like a middle manager at M and S and be an extremist.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) May 25, 2017

The long view of terrorism in Britain pic.twitter.com/ROsqEqKx1z

— Tom Wainwright (@t_wainwright) May 25, 2017

A record number of Americans now consider behaviors that the Bible condemns to be “morally acceptable.” https://t.co/jiB9kSaNbt

— The Gospel Coalition (@TGC) May 25, 2017

Next he'll be stalking you on the internet. https://t.co/uFXR8Ki1d1

— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) May 25, 2017

My daughter actually submitted this feedback at school. Not sure if I should ground her or buy her ice cream… pic.twitter.com/4v8Gjb9riv

— Mason Cross (@MasonCrossBooks) May 25, 2017

pic.twitter.com/Kz89wXt8It

— Manchester City (@ManCity) May 24, 2017

Humpback whale shoots a rainbow out of its blowholehttps://t.co/hxZrHvUlBN pic.twitter.com/zbfRnzHeIZ

— The Poke (@ThePoke) May 24, 2017

I was arguing with my husband and my son screamed "yay! TWO christmases!" from the other room.

— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) May 6, 2017

@RevRichardColes Discovered on-air today that it is now illegal to take your own extracted tooth home from the dentist. Comes under "body part" apparently.

— Danny Baker (@prodnose) May 27, 2017

Behind every warning sign there's a story. pic.twitter.com/U6bhvDfVAI

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) May 27, 2017

When it comes to a #heatwave, us Brits know what we're doing. pic.twitter.com/HNVBlGpk4o

— E4 (@E4Tweets) May 27, 2017

This seems the right day for the word petrichor: the beautiful, earthy smell that follows rain after a spell of hot and dry weather.

— Susie Dent (@susie_dent) May 27, 2017

Love this. pic.twitter.com/rhFQrZTwJL

— Daniel Mendelsohn (@DMendelsohn1960) May 25, 2017