ineke.co.uk

Just found a great quote for my maths classroom – attributed to @standupmaths pic.twitter.com/oUOmUph2Xl

— Aquinas Maths (@AquinasMaths) August 23, 2017

So @innocent's FAQ page is one of the best pages on the internet. pic.twitter.com/gr6YJURG5c

— James Ball (@James_Ball) August 23, 2017

Nearly all mammals, regardless of size, take about 21 seconds to pee but only 12 seconds to poo.

— The QI Elves (@qikipedia) August 23, 2017

I've spent the entire day getting over hearing from a friend on Facebook that TESCO is short for "The English Shopping Company".

— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) August 22, 2017

🇬🇧 Privatised
🇧🇪 Nationalised
🇮🇹 Nationalised
🇫🇷 Nationalised
🇵🇱 Nationalised pic.twitter.com/KOV1ViHRK4

— LeftDesignCollective (@UK_LDC) August 22, 2017

2005: bf mom told me I wasn't smart enough for her son. Dumped him. >>>PhD, Oxford 2016. She's in my thesis acknowledgements 😈 https://t.co/J0vHHIKHUo

— Caitlin M Gale (@DrCaitlinMGale) August 22, 2017

Finally got a letter printed in The Times… pic.twitter.com/0Bzi1X6B5d

— Ian Rankin (@Beathhigh) August 22, 2017

I fixed giraffes. pic.twitter.com/QtavtoFRAt

— Josephine A. Sayers (@joeyalison) August 22, 2017

WOW! Kirsten Jorgensen in Lewiston, ID was about to pack up & go inside then saw the plane. She ran to the camera & click!#Eclipse2017 pic.twitter.com/6RxcXURrl3

— Mike Seidel (@mikeseidel) August 22, 2017

EXCLUSIVE: First picture of the total #SolarEclispe2017 from the USA 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/HEcVSL0Qb8

— Dave (@davechannel) August 21, 2017

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of, so they can see that it's not the answer.
-Jim Carrey

— Nicky Gumbel (@nickygumbel) August 21, 2017

MPs' sudden interest in Big Ben reminds me of the time I taught myself to make gnocchi when I had a 4,000-word feature on the Coen bros due.

— Robbie Collin (@robbiereviews) August 21, 2017

BIG BEN BONGS NO MORE. TIME NO LONGER EXISTS IN THE UK. CHAOS. NO ONE KNOWS WHEN TO MAKE TEA. WHEN IS EASTENDERS ON. HELP US.

— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) August 21, 2017

The Clock Tower (Big Ben) has a prison cell for unruly MPs. It was last used in 1880 when an atheist MP refused to take the oath on a Bible.

— The QI Elves (@qikipedia) August 21, 2017

a woman had me double bag her tampons because the bag was see thru and her husband would be embarrassed..sweetie throw the whole husband out

— queen G (@ifthehoefits) August 21, 2017

More than a third of all sick leave is taken on Mondays.

— The QI Elves (@qikipedia) August 21, 2017

This time next Monday, you'll still be in bed #MondayMotivation

— innocent drinks (@innocent) August 21, 2017

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

— Sara Stewart (@twowitwowoo) August 21, 2017

Lord, if you want Trump to resign, send us a sign. Like maybe make the sun stop shining tomorrow around 2pm.

— Shane Claiborne (@ShaneClaiborne) August 20, 2017

I now own enough Bags For Life to officially be immortal.

— Cromerty York 🎙 (@Cromerty) August 20, 2017

The dinosaurs didnt “rule the earth” they were just alive stop giving them credit for administrative skills they almost certainly didnt have

— Hippo (@InternetHippo) August 20, 2017

Net migration falls as government succeeds in making the UK a miserable place to live.

— HaveIGotNewsForYou (@haveigotnews) August 24, 2017

If you're getting GCSE results today stay calm and remember that whatever happens, Donald Trump became President.

Anything is possible.

— Greg James (@gregjames) August 24, 2017

The most honest political billboard ever: pic.twitter.com/GyQAW7ss8b

— Brilliant Ads (@Brilliant_Ads) August 23, 2017

I wonder whether there's anyone left in America who doesn't know what an acrostic is. https://t.co/nPXnaxm7kI

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) August 23, 2017

Who are the 1% who don't like their food served on a circular plate? So many questions from this survey https://t.co/EZLfPaBbiY pic.twitter.com/LHYFQZJYdc

— The Poke (@ThePoke) August 22, 2017

Tired of people using your cup in work. pic.twitter.com/bo0mnpKMGw

— Work Fails (@FailsWork) August 21, 2017

#AwfullyBritishFakeFacts depending on where you are, the order of how you put jam and cream on a scone matters more than your kids lives

— Danni🌼 (@candycain_) August 13, 2017

The English civil war was actually about whether you add milk first or after the tea. #awfullybritishfakefacts

— screamingguns (@screamingguns) August 13, 2017

Plans announced to test self-driving lorries on English roads next year after the successful trial of a rudderless ship by the Tory party.

— HaveIGotNewsForYou (@haveigotnews) August 25, 2017

When u get charged £1.85 by a cash machine to get ur own cash out and it has the cheek to tell u to cover ur pin to prevent getting robbed

— lewie (@Ixwie) August 25, 2017

May's visit to Teeside looks like the promo shots for a gritty new detective drama set in the North East pic.twitter.com/aXlTy2wIn8

— Gareth Baines (@DrGABaines) August 25, 2017

Bank holiday, let's be having you https://t.co/aNNVoBJM9i pic.twitter.com/ZkLW8JgpzC

— innocent drinks (@innocent) August 26, 2017

#recap ‘This is how the postman hid our package’https://t.co/v3FfSBHUIc pic.twitter.com/ndgG1Eq7RV

— The Poke (@ThePoke) August 26, 2017

So, @taylorswift13's #LookWhatYouMadeMeDo kindof reminds me of something. Wait for it… pic.twitter.com/oC8RnBFsfQ

— Chase Holfelder (@chaseholfelder) August 25, 2017