ineke.co.uk

helo darkness my old friend
why are u here its 4pm

— jonny sun (@jonnysun) December 11, 2016

Wish they did Black Friday on petrol

— James Knowles (@96jamesknowles) November 22, 2017

News has reached the park that there are reductions on bread at Asda today.#BlackFriday pic.twitter.com/vnzuZndPjh

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) November 24, 2017

Some of the responses 🎣🙈 https://t.co/XpIGuQf4PN

— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) November 25, 2017

BBC just called to say we are PROBABLY going to be named social media personality of the year but we would have to agree to an interview and a major photo shoot. We said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway!

— Give Blood NHS 🩸🩹 (@GiveBloodNHS) November 25, 2017

I’m sure Kay Burley didn’t intend to mislead, but this is a useful reminder that even trusted news sources aren’t always right about ongoing incidents. Well done to @BTP and @metpoliceuk for investigating the situation so quickly. https://t.co/lRCwQWSrd5

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) November 24, 2017

Don't forget…https://t.co/dObKv4FCEL (Via @barryfromwat) pic.twitter.com/3eJ8U6oXa5

— The Poke (@ThePoke) November 24, 2017

Can't remember a cartoon that better nails Brexit https://t.co/FXwCC6dp0R pic.twitter.com/q3fgaqoZ0b

— The Poke (@ThePoke) November 24, 2017

I don't understand the #BlackFriday hype. Jesus saves everyday!

— Jesus Tweets You (@JesusTweetsYou) November 24, 2017

Why are #BlackFriday prices like Jesus on Good Friday?

Because they rise again on Sunday.

— Jesus Tweets You (@JesusTweetsYou) November 24, 2017

Of almost 4,000 mammals in the Berlin Zoo in 1939, only 91 survived the bombings of the Second World War.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) November 24, 2017

I am old enough to prefer Early-Closing Wednesday to Black Friday.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) November 24, 2017

Siri, put in a reminder to tweet "COMING OUT OF MY CAGE AND I'VE BEEN BONGING JUST FINE" when the scaffolding comes off Big Ben

— Marie Le Conte (@youngvulgarian) November 23, 2017

A giant seal tried to raid a shop in Ireland and went viral https://t.co/NHPgLmrhIT pic.twitter.com/jqESDzhhXZ

— The Independent (@Independent) November 23, 2017

Budget: First-time homebuyers won't have to pay stamp duty on first £300k, in great news for Londoners looking to replace their garden shed.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) November 23, 2017

Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans out there. Be thankful. Lock yourself out of your apartment with hilarious consequences. Get your head stuck inside a turkey. Invite Brad Pitt round for lunch. Realise your entire knowledge of Thanksgiving is based on episodes of Friends.

— innocent drinks (@innocent) November 23, 2017

When did we start doing November Fool? 😳 pic.twitter.com/DgVMnBdCqD

— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) November 23, 2017

He could have said “our country”, but went for “your country”. Stop and think for a moment about that. https://t.co/XD6lzyVbEw

— Jay Foreman (@jayforeman) November 23, 2017

In 2013, nine babies born in the UK were named Cheese.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) November 22, 2017

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. DOUGLAS ADAMS

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) November 21, 2017

In Washington DC, the Slovakian and Slovenian embassies meet once a month to exchange wrongly addressed mail.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) November 21, 2017

🎥 Take a look at some of the moments The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh have shared together over the last 70 years. pic.twitter.com/KRozbU5MKm

— The Royal Family (@RoyalFamily) November 20, 2017

Man in pub who has been mansplaining sexual harassment to me. Tells me me necklace gives me a certain Je ne sais quoi
Him:Do you know what je ne sais quoi means?
Me:I don’t know what.
Him:I’ll tell you. It’s a certain extra special something. I don’t know the literal translation

— Maud Dromgoole (@mauddromgoole) November 18, 2017

Eton College was founded to provide free schooling for poor boys.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) November 19, 2017