ineke.co.uk

Happy #NationalRobinDay 🙂 #surreyhillsphotography @WildlifeTrusts @Natures_Voice @WoodlandTrust @BirdPOTY pic.twitter.com/AOpe2dPBz2

— Jon Hawkins (@SurreyHillsPhot) December 21, 2017

To clarify David Davis's position: the latest is that he only said he'd resign if Green was sacked for looking at porn. Green was sacked for lying about looking at porn. Davis, a man of infinite subtleties, won't be resigning.

— Paul (@PaulOnBooks) December 21, 2017

BAND AID: there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time!
AFRICA: actually we-
BAND AID: where nothing ever grows!
AFRICA: that's not the issue, colonisation-
BAND AID: no rain or rivers flow!
AFRICA: if you'd just listen
BONO: tonight thank god it's them
AFRICA: what the fu

— A Muppet Christmas Carl (@TVsCarlKinsella) December 20, 2017

Spare a thought for poor Nigel. This sad man is stuck in his multimillion pound townhouse after 18 years trapped on a Brussels gravy train he hates with just a £73,000 EU pension to keep him from penury in the future pic.twitter.com/FFMXbRTH0U

— Ian Birrell (@ianbirrell) December 16, 2017

To clarify David Davis's position: the latest is that he only said he'd resign if Green was sacked for looking at porn. Green was sacked for lying about looking at porn. Davis, a man of infinite subtleties, won't be resigning.

— Paul (@PaulOnBooks) December 21, 2017

On Oxford Street, shopping. I find it amazing that some people do not believe in a literal hell.

— Giles Fraser (@giles_fraser) December 21, 2017

Why I live in Britain.
No one in any other country would come close to understanding this.

(via @MarkHeardman, @NoelEdmonds) pic.twitter.com/baAVgwpFM9

— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) December 21, 2017

Don’t worry, I’ve got this. https://t.co/Fa1gUkVys5

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) December 21, 2017

You: “Only three days until Christmas!”

Your body: “Here, have a cold!”

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) December 22, 2017

Another example of where, by law, retractions should be the size and page that the original story was on

— Martin (@martinjguk) December 20, 2017

People with higher incomes generally prefer their loo paper to unravel over the roll, while those with lower incomes prefer it to go under.

— Quite Winteresting (@qikipedia) December 20, 2017

Nick Clegg once did community service for setting fire to a rare cactus collection while drunk on a school trip.

— Quite Winteresting (@qikipedia) December 20, 2017

Erm…TOTALLY acceptable answer.

'Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."'
-C.S. Lewis https://t.co/A9PD2hAkNN

— Waterstones (@Waterstones) December 20, 2017

Just to say; thanks to everyone suggesting a Loser of Losers Taskmaster speicial; excellent to see people enjoying people’s failures. Definitely healthy.

— Alex Horne (@AlexHorne) December 19, 2017

This is absolutely appalling. Trees made uninhabitable to birds – for the sake of car parking 😠 https://t.co/beuXUimZxQ

— Green Party (@TheGreenParty) December 19, 2017

The first plastic artificial Christmas trees were produced by a toilet brush manufacturer using the same bristles, they just dyed them green.

— Quite Winteresting (@qikipedia) December 19, 2017

Be patient when it gets weird. The angels explained things to Joseph after he'd talked to Mary, not before.

— Bob Goff (@bobgoff) December 18, 2017

you'd be amazed at how many crime writers have never even murdered ONE person. https://t.co/pYwW3f6qZg

— Gavia Baker-Whitelaw (@Hello_Tailor) December 18, 2017

In 2004, the Church of England General Synod replaced ‘wise men’ with ‘Magi’ in the prayerbook because ‘the visitors were not necessarily wise nor necessarily men.’

— Quite Winteresting (@qikipedia) December 19, 2017

READERSHIP: And the comment of the day is… pic.twitter.com/lBzYKEn81O

— The DM Reporter (@DMReporter) December 15, 2017

Anyone see the problem here. pic.twitter.com/QzyTiWk2cG

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) December 18, 2017

Pigeons don’t bob their heads if they are walking on a treadmill.

— Quite Winteresting (@qikipedia) December 18, 2017

Here we have two pomegranate robins discussing if Die Hard counts as a Christmas film. pic.twitter.com/J9Z9WXRig4

— innocent drinks (@innocent) December 17, 2017

A country that would spend £500m to change the colour of a passport while children sleep on the streets is a country whose priorities are wholly out of whack. https://t.co/h8omuRjNr5

— James Caan CBE (@jamescaan) December 22, 2017

The more I see of Disney's 'Hall of Presidents' Trump, the more I'm convinced they made a Hillary one first and had to redo it pic.twitter.com/vJTMnZPak8

— maple cocaine (@historyinflicks) December 19, 2017

pic.twitter.com/RBpuAbdJET

— Dr. Mike Watts #FBPE (@mikerwatts) December 23, 2017

Parents all over the country are excited this weekend for the return of their own personal IT departments.

— James Martin (@Pundamentalism) December 23, 2017

Then, if I remember the story right, she’s visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future…https://t.co/ormjfTtt8Q

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) December 22, 2017

I live in hope that the presence of Farage and Trump in the public eye are just @DaveGorman jokes which have got slightly out of hand.

— Huseyin Huseyin (@HusX2) December 22, 2017

Great map of U.K. river basins. pic.twitter.com/mpzjB8gpZG

— KAndrew (@KAndrew20) December 14, 2017

If you see this car ring the police
It's stollen. pic.twitter.com/jPHQvABHH6

— 🎄Cracker Joke Man ☃️ (@DadJokeMan) December 15, 2017

The past tense of "snow" used to be "snew". pic.twitter.com/6XAiDmlSzP

— Quite Winteresting (@qikipedia) December 17, 2017

Does anyone apart from the Queen wear a headscarf for other than religious reasons?

— Richard Coles (@RevRichardColes) December 17, 2017

The M25 was so popular when it opened that people from Norfolk booked bus rides around it.

— Quite Winteresting (@qikipedia) December 17, 2017

No US President has served with a full beard since 1893.

— Quite Winteresting (@qikipedia) December 16, 2017