ineke.co.uk

I’m a devout republican but The Crown is just fabulous TV. And it’s more about the changes in post-war Britain than it is the royals. You could put a frame around every shot and hang it on your wall. Also – crisp clever writing that refuses to dumb down.

— Rob Williams 🐝 (@BobJWilliams) December 14, 2017

Mother Teresa said, “It is very fashionable to talk about the poor…unfortunately it isn’t as fashionable to talk to the poor.” @ShaneClaiborne #MakePovertyPersonal

— Jenli Oh (@Jenli777) December 22, 2017

Poor Nigel Farage. What’s the world coming to when you can’t even get a knighthood for stoking hatred and xenophobia and conning this country into setting itself on fire? pic.twitter.com/oO7wYsaOZD

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) December 23, 2017

2015: Can’t believe it’s already Christmas.
2016: Can’t believe some of my heroes actually made it to Christmas.
2017: Can’t believe the whole planet actually made it to Christmas.

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) December 24, 2017

Merry Christmas from the Twitter account that keeps on giving. https://t.co/SvScvByRsv

— PresidentialTrump (@MatureTrumpTwts) December 24, 2017

who says people don't go to church anymore …? https://t.co/obH5pvNBUO

— Emma Ineson (@e_ineson) December 24, 2017

Christmas Eve – when there's twenty times more food in the house, but you're not allowed to eat anything.

— innocent drinks (@innocent) December 24, 2017

I really want Mary Berry to be an #motd pundit. “A really SUPER goal from Jamie. Not too overworked and with a lovely lightness, but always beautifully controlled and executed. Mourinho’s face, mind, looked like a sunken soufflé”.

— Richard Coles (@RevRichardColes) December 23, 2017

Remember to terrify your children by hitting F12 and editing the NORAD Santa Tracker page: pic.twitter.com/o9DDjsbVdi

— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) December 24, 2017

Getting a lot of grief for this for being dull. Which shows people don't really understand anxiety. You sometimes have to seem boring to stay well. Big up to all the people feeling fragile this year. https://t.co/CR4y6XSrmZ

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) December 24, 2017

I obviously LOVE my books selling well. The only exception is the slight tinge of sadness I get when, every year, sales of Reasons to Stay Alive begin to spike straight after Christmas.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) December 26, 2017

Boxing Day mostly involves the removal and replacement of cling film.

— Rob Temple (@RobTemple101) December 26, 2017

Not totally sure which yet but narrowed today down as being either Friday, Thursday, Wednesday, Sunday, Saturday, Tuesday or Monday.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) December 26, 2017

I’d love to know what happened that they had to put a sign up. pic.twitter.com/UVu2ywGh0X

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) December 26, 2017

The granddaughter of Clement Attlee, the Prime Minister who oversaw the creation of the NHS, married the grandson of Sylvia Beckingham, the first patient ever treated by the NHS.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) December 26, 2017

We always get each other ironic gifts, my little niece killed it this year. pic.twitter.com/lYaK6RN8yK

— Mr. Drinks On Me (@Mr_DrinksOnMe) December 25, 2017

I’ve working to ensure rough sleepers always have somewhere warm to sleep. Emergency shelters across the capital will now open whenever sub-zero temperatures are forecast in London. Find out how you can help rough sleepers in London https://t.co/KzpnYvrwdX #HelpRoughSleepers

— Mayor of London (@MayorofLondon) December 27, 2017

Conduct interviews to find a new family https://t.co/E2KOKQsaw1

— Waterstones (@Waterstones) December 27, 2017

How to know when something won’t be fun:

– Someone will say “come on, it’ll be fun”

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) December 27, 2017

Poor kid. pic.twitter.com/djZzGOMy3x

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) December 25, 2017

Have a lovely Christmas, world – and thank you to all the people who aren't having one because they're looking after things that allow the rest of us to have one

— Hugh Laurie (@hughlaurie) December 25, 2017

Merry Christmas to everyone checking their phone to get a tiny break from their family.

— innocent drinks (@innocent) December 25, 2017

My Dad’s just told me that on New Year’s Eve, every single adult in the world will have been born in the 20th century and every child will have been born in the 21st century, and that’s the only day that’s true for, and my mind is suitably BLOWN

— bp (@_bethbethbeth_) December 23, 2017

BREAKING: Google reveals UK’s most-searched map route. pic.twitter.com/tAHsnmJlTX

— James Martin (@Pundamentalism) December 28, 2017

For those of you lucky enough to still be off work, you'll be generally unaware what day it is and will be spending a lot of time laying around and eating. Congratulations, you've become a cat

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) December 28, 2017

A miscalculation was made. pic.twitter.com/N0yPGgU5Ba

— Clint Falin (@ClintFalin) December 27, 2017

Things that won't get you kicked out of Tory party:
– lying to parliament
– gross incompetence
– using the n word
– jacking it at work

Things that could get you kicked out
– having a sensible opinion about brexit https://t.co/cq94BObJuh

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) December 28, 2017

Rates of anxiety and depression in the UK, as elsewhere, are rising. The scandal isn't about being hooked on pills, the scandal is that people are needing the pills in the first place. Our society does not respect mental health. Neither does your terrible paper. pic.twitter.com/m7Vkn95m5o

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) December 29, 2017

antidepressants don’t make you “happy”. they’re not recreational. at best they support & stabilise whilst you do the hard work to get well. there’s zero shame in taking them. more people getting mental health treatment can only ever be good. so fuck you @DailyMailUK 🖕🏼 https://t.co/898QqFAFII

— beth mccoll (@imteddybless) December 29, 2017

We must not fall into the trap of thinking this is at all not weird just because it happens so often. The real life president is a real life absolute fucking moron. And the real life consequences are terrifying. https://t.co/FtKkkO2GtB

— Jay Foreman (@jayforeman) December 29, 2017

NASA: The oceans are warm@realDonaldTrump: But baby, it's cold outside
NASA: The arctic is gone @realDonaldTrump: but baby, it's cold outside

— BRYN_BORANGA (@BRYN_BORANGA) December 29, 2017

Reminder that Trump's Irish golf course just got permission to build seawall.

The original application for the wall cited global warming and rising seas as a reason for needing the wall https://t.co/C4RQDM1z5Q https://t.co/pI8SEZzmdC

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) December 29, 2017

Using climate change as an argument against climate change is quite an amazing accomplishment https://t.co/WGGYE9H74a

— Nate (@BarstoolNate) December 29, 2017

And they think Remain voters are the 'snowflakes' 👀 pic.twitter.com/cTZlianRe9

— Jono Read (@jonoread) December 26, 2017

Couple beside me at the airport is arguing over money. He just told her if she loved him she’d turn down the promotion bc everyone would know she’d be making more money than him and he’d be humiliated. Holy shit is that really still a thing? wtf

— b̈́͐̐̊́͠͝͝ȁ̈́̓̅̂̓̏̄t͒ (@mzbat) December 19, 2017

At least 10% of divorces can be avoided by buying bigger blankets

— X Alqee (@Xalqee) July 9, 2012

‘Enjoy the brief moment your brain says this is a photo of a crowd at a concert’https://t.co/t8GULoEAfI pic.twitter.com/SFx95jBfNG

— The Poke (@ThePoke) December 28, 2017

The One with the Show Everyone's Been Asking Us to Add.

— Netflix UK & Ireland (@NetflixUK) December 30, 2017

*Heaven*

God: you may ask me 1 question

Me: Why aren't there lowercase and uppercase numbers?

God: what?

Me: I wanna write loud numbers

— brandAn New Year (@LeBearGirdle) July 19, 2017