ineke.co.uk

Uzbekistan shuts down the Internet during the nation’s standardised annual university entrance exam, and disables all text messaging.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) April 8, 2018

The evolution of the English alphabet, by @usefulcharts (source: https://t.co/QSI113jRZn) pic.twitter.com/kVvsPV4JN0

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) April 8, 2018

Siri. Show me a tweet which sums up life under the Tories.https://t.co/5kFo9sMIc3

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) April 8, 2018

Let the royal baby countdown begin: barriers and parking restrictions have been brought in outside the Lindo Wing at St Mary’s Hospital, Paddington today in a planned move. The Duchess of Cambridge is due to give birth to her third child in the next couple of weeks.

— Richard Palmer (@RoyalReporter) April 9, 2018

i won’t stop talking about this video for such a long time pic.twitter.com/xSI1x5Q0Xo

— alena 𓍯 (@tragicalena) April 8, 2018

Being an adult is 90% feeling tired, 10% worrying and 10% getting simple things wrong because you're so tired from all the worrying

— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) April 9, 2018

Ok so, one last thing, you need to choose a national animal and remember… nothing silly!

England: "Lion!"
What a lion? They're not even native to…
Wales: "Dragon!"
No, sorry that's just…
Scotland: UNICORN!
Right that's it, we've had enough of this!

#NationalUnicornDay

— Dave (@davechannel) April 9, 2018

Astronauts have to sleep near fans so they don’t suffocate in their own exhaled breath.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) April 10, 2018

Women are not all the same.
Men are not all the same.
Muslims are not all the same.
Jews are not all the same.
Black people are not all the same.
White people are not all the same.
Gay people are not all the same.
Depressed people are not all the same.

Humans are not genres.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) April 9, 2018

You know when booksellers duck behind the till, ostensibly to get more bags, or swap a till roll, or change the paper in the printer? Well, they're not. They're eating maltesers, every time.

— Waterstones Swansea (@swanseastones) April 10, 2018

Donald Trump has today tweeted that Russia should "get ready" for missiles to be fired into Syria.

Boy is he going to feel silly… https://t.co/Y7EVHwK8Dx

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) April 11, 2018

2013 Donald Trump really hates 2018 Donald Trump. https://t.co/scYEiJ5Uq3

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) April 14, 2018

Any time a celebrity talks in public there will be people who think it is a 'fashion' or 'attention seeking'. But for every one of those people there will be a hundred people struggling in silence who will be helped by knowing they aren't alone.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) April 11, 2018

So Mum bought a £40 toilet seat from ikea, gets home and starts freaking out because it’s bright blue and she’s chucked away the receipt.. after about 30 mins of accepting it she’s finally got her head around the idea of having a blue toilet, until I come and read the label 🙄 pic.twitter.com/50OXqJo4wN

— Amber (@amber_stent) April 1, 2018

This guy @mikebreakfast is such a total pro pic.twitter.com/XnoSYm4eSn

— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) April 12, 2018

There is an angry man with a microphone outside Euston station, ranting that the moon landings were fake. Not once has he said ‘Euston we have a problem’ #disappointed

— Alex Chapman (@itsalexchapman) April 11, 2018

Chefs seem obsessed with removing more and more of the original structure of foods:

Salmon mousse
Basil foam
Strawberry dust
Parmesan air

Where does it end?

Venison déjà vu
A memory of broccoli
A vicious rumour about carrots

— Adam (@ThereWillBeGin) April 12, 2018

LOL. pic.twitter.com/JQq0AMRypt

— Robert Weißgraeber🇪🇺 (@robert_we) April 11, 2018

Percentage of patients seen in four hours or less major A&E departments first quarter
2005 96%
2006 96.6%
2007 96.8%
2008 96.5%
2009 96.8%
2010 96.9%
2011 94.8%
2012 93.7%
2013 91.1%
2014 92.7%
2015 87.5%
2016 81.8%
2017 81.4%
2018 76.8%
What happened in 2010?

— Socialist Health Asn (@SocialistHealth) April 12, 2018

Syria latest: Trump “needs more intelligence”, in greatest understatement of presidency to date.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) April 13, 2018

Trump's desire to help the people of Syria would mean a lot more if he allowed them into his country than if he bombed them.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) April 14, 2018

When you look at something once online, and the ads for it follow you around the Internet forever. pic.twitter.com/d71KO4M6MZ

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) April 14, 2018

A person in his building died and he’s bragging about the building https://t.co/OKA7Hbf12L

— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) April 8, 2018

If City don’t win the Premier League this season it would be quite a collapse. In fact, if they don’t I’ll do the first MOTD of next season in just a thong.

— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) April 7, 2018

Everyone at home kept watching Netflix using my profile. Messed up all my lists and history… so I renamed “Dad” to “Install Windows Updates Now.” Problem solved. pic.twitter.com/33tpvghLCf

— mike angiulo (@mikeangiulo) April 7, 2018

I have some concerns pic.twitter.com/1woEt8oFR3

— Falcom Brand Ambassador (@mrfeelswildride) April 5, 2018

tfw you aren't being grilled by the Senate Judiciary Committee pic.twitter.com/0gbOmDtJq8

— Jeffrey Young (@JeffYoung) April 10, 2018

Positive reply by fictive job applicants with the same CV in Germany (University of Linz study)
Sandra Bauer: 18.8%
Meryem Öztürk: 13.5%
Meryem Öztürk (with headscarf): 4.2%https://t.co/vlSCUPcBQ2 pic.twitter.com/VUwOqpaerV

— Alper Üçok (@AlperUcok) April 9, 2018