Bloke read and summarised Michael Flatley’s (horrendous) Autobiography so you don’t have to!
We have a very different idea of quality, @qpark_uk pic.twitter.com/cwxvm29EwQ
— Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) May 6, 2018
Can someone tell @thesundaytimes about how siblings have the same parents and so it's not "uncanny" that they look similar pic.twitter.com/8iHWAQbpdm
— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) May 6, 2018
We can't carry a cross in one hand and a gun in the other. I'm pretty sure when Jesus said, "Love your enemies"…
he meant that we shouldn't kill them.— Shane Claiborne (@ShaneClaiborne) May 6, 2018
Why is the second digit of the numbers 10 to 15 in a different font? I mean, look at that 11. And am I the only person who notices this sort of thing? #WhoWantsToBeAMillionaire pic.twitter.com/LwFAtdNOXm
— Graeme Cole (@elocemearg) May 5, 2018
A sunny bank holiday weekend? What witchcraft is this?!
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) May 6, 2018
Neanderthals are shown as slouching because the first one to be reconstructed happened to have arthritis.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) May 6, 2018
"Bless you boys."
"Homer, those are ice-cream men."
"I know…" pic.twitter.com/0odHiAqhTc— SimpsonsQOTD (@SimpsonsQOTD) May 6, 2018
Bank Holiday Mondays exist to give humans a taste of what every Monday is like for cats…
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) May 7, 2018
If you ever want to see what the real issues are in the UK simply check the rejected petitions section on the parliament website pic.twitter.com/rLvkSewWqY
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) May 7, 2018
As Trump pulls out of deal that everyone agrees was the best possible, with no plan for what to do next, the UK says you’d never catch us doing something so stupid.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) May 9, 2018
A map of the world but it’s just the time zones pic.twitter.com/VURJXLeROc
— Terrible Maps (@TerribleMaps) May 9, 2018
I've been with my wife for 15 years. Just realised she turned the thermostat down when I was out last night. I stared at the dial, whispered "I don't think so" and turned it back up. Wait till she finds out the spices are no longer in alphabetical order #LoveIsABattlefield
— Susan Calman (@SusanCalman) May 10, 2018
The internet. pic.twitter.com/mCwptuSTGa
— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) May 10, 2018
Yesterday I had to teach my students, in under 3 hours, what the EU was and why #Brexit was happening. It seemed like an impossible task. Then I found this MEP had done it in 2 minutes.
This is very important. Please watch and RT. pic.twitter.com/MCU5CkfTBk
— Polly Polak (@PolakPolly) May 5, 2018
The ‘H’ in NHS is our last bastion against everyone saying ‘haitch’. We must protect it at all costs.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) May 10, 2018
Dear Australians watching #Eurovision– we're not quite sure how these time zone things work, but we hope you're having a terrific Monday morning.
— innocent drinks (@innocent) May 10, 2018
For all the stick Twitter gets, an interaction such as this would happen on no other website. pic.twitter.com/j0pudQkTwS
— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) May 4, 2018
Smart doggo. pic.twitter.com/MQWAk1cSfa
— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) May 10, 2018
When engineers shred documents. pic.twitter.com/5XTO4XO9nN
— Work Fails (@FailsWork) May 10, 2018
Aaaargh. Aaaargh. AAAAAAAARGGHJDJDJDJ pic.twitter.com/dmdQADgkcY
— Alan White (@aljwhite) May 9, 2018
This Tweet is spreading like wildflowers. https://t.co/26d0xlJzVv
— Twitter UK (@TwitterUK) May 10, 2018
WTF? pic.twitter.com/cOqkSuBHWc
— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) May 10, 2018
Russia 'shocked' as Eurovision's voting system proves to be more secure than those of most Western governments.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) May 11, 2018
Loving this in The Times today! Huge 👏🏼👏🏼 to the @coopuk for this idea to reduce plastic bottles being thrown away at festivals. Water refill stations will also be available 😊 #lessplastic #2minutebeachclean pic.twitter.com/evD9aCUgSe
— LouiseW (@Cogs39) May 11, 2018
Which country is the roundest? pic.twitter.com/3CfEQzPqyg
— Terrible Maps (@TerribleMaps) May 11, 2018
England fans have been asked to pick a slogan for the World Cup bus…
Any suggestions? 👀 pic.twitter.com/7nKs5woRY2
— SPORTbible (@sportbible) May 9, 2018
OH DEER OH DEER!! That moment when you definitely know the answer, except you don't.
😬😬😬 #Awks
🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐#Millionaire @MillionaireUK pic.twitter.com/vRja4sgy1L— ITV (@ITV) May 11, 2018
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Anything to add...?