ineke.co.uk

My boyfriend asked me to text him updates from the #ENGTUN game as he's on his way home. You can't say it's not accurate. #WorldCup pic.twitter.com/fOIUKsMLus

— lightningstarr (@lightningstarr) June 18, 2018

Had a joint with my mate and she said “mad how the brain named itself” and I’ve fully had to come home and go to bed

— Scarlet (@ScarletWLand) June 22, 2018

Outstanding. Simply outstanding. pic.twitter.com/EZVffhtw57

— Hannah Williams (@flamingnora) June 22, 2018

Porktrait pic.twitter.com/unkl5x16NO

— MꙬse Allain (@MooseAllain) June 24, 2018

Just some feedback… #saintsfc pic.twitter.com/RbG6k2Uh8O

— Southampton FC (@SouthamptonFC) May 9, 2018

One of the best things about live football on Twitter is Lord Sugar providing score updates as if none of the rest of us has access to the game. #ENGPAN pic.twitter.com/neNNZSoQV8

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) June 24, 2018

In 2009, a South African IT company proved that a carrier pigeon carrying a 4 GB memory stick transferred data faster than their local internet provider (over a distance of 60 miles). (Photo: Kenneth Allen.) pic.twitter.com/SQTuXJLy1O

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) June 24, 2018

This would be a bad game to lose from here #ENGPAN

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) June 24, 2018

Brilliant and totally deserved. Next time Panama can we play your footballers not your wrestlers.

— Tim Vine (@RealTimVine) June 24, 2018

June 25th. 6 months until Christmas. 6 months and a day until you can buy an Easter Egg.

— innocent drinks (@innocent) June 25, 2018

So there’s a book of these tweets for Christian leaders somewhere, right? #tweet #christian #wisdom pic.twitter.com/nMDVIlus47

— Phil Hoyle (@hoylus) June 25, 2018

Is Penny short for Pennifer or Peonard?

— MꙬse Allain (@MooseAllain) June 25, 2018

shut. the. fuck. up. don’t. even. look. over. here. Brian. I. mean. it. if. they. see. me. I’m. basically. fucked. pic.twitter.com/PLQEYUwCna

— amanda abbington (@CHIMPSINSOCKS) June 24, 2018

Harry Maguire picks the wrong time to practice for his Strictly Come Dancing audition for 2019.#ENG #ENGPAN #EnglandvPanama #WorldCup #MondayMotivation pic.twitter.com/zoAmq9USxO

— Martin Wake (@martinwake81) June 25, 2018

Rules of a #heatwave:
1. Leather sofas are out of bounds until mid-October
2. Temperatures must be compared to ‘since records began’
3. No one – and we mean no one – is allowed to say ‘It’s too hot’

— innocent drinks (@innocent) June 26, 2018

4. Car bonnets are now legitimate methods of cooking
5. Sandals must be worn
6. Socks must not

— innocent drinks (@innocent) June 26, 2018

A Colombian man helps his deaf and blind friend experience the joy of their team's #WorldCup campaign pic.twitter.com/wsZruvjgAR

— Sky News (@SkyNews) June 25, 2018

So there’s a book of these tweets for Christian leaders somewhere, right? #tweet #christian #wisdom pic.twitter.com/nMDVIlus47

— Phil Hoyle (@hoylus) June 25, 2018

Dear @BBCSport,

If England reach the world cup final, please could you arrange to have Alan Partridge commentate via the red button.

It's what everyone wants and deserves.

Thank you.#WorldCup #ENG

— mushybees (@beesesteeses) June 25, 2018

It shouldn't be 'brave' to talk about mental illness. To live with it, yes. But to talk about it? Let's make it as normal as talking about a migraine. All this bravery talk underlines the stigma that it is something shameful.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) June 26, 2018

Turn the pillow and stick a leg out. That’ll make it better… for a second

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) June 26, 2018

Had a dream last night (genuinely) that I was arrested and taken from my hotel by a team of VAR referees, in full kit, for disagreeing with a VAR decision. I may need a day off. 😬

— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 27, 2018

In all fairness selling seashells by the seashore is a terrible business plan because people can just pick up their own seashells there for free.

— Dave (@davechannel) June 27, 2018

#Heatwave: Councils across the UK rejoice after melting roads begin to fill in their own potholes.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) June 27, 2018

1998 France win WC 🇫🇷
2002 Out in the group stage

2006 Italy win the WC 🇮🇹
2010 Out in the group stage

2010 Spain win WC 🇪🇸
2014 Out in the group stage

2014 Germany win the WC 🇩🇪
2018 Auf Wiedersehen
Bottom of the group!#WorldCup⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ #KORGER#Vardenfreude

— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) June 27, 2018

Making friends in my local community pic.twitter.com/YEUrMqMnAv

— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) June 20, 2018

First *man.*@MiaHamm did it first. https://t.co/CLNhhyNAjI

— Liz OCG 🌺 (@evgennari) June 26, 2018

Someone at the museum got a sense of humour. (📷 via MXXD on Reddit) pic.twitter.com/F2LGbXpzio

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) June 28, 2018

Man tries to kiss Brazilian TV journalist Julia Guimaraes as she reports on World Cup. Watch her response. pic.twitter.com/TRz2ULP4OK

— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) June 26, 2018

Awkward. pic.twitter.com/kqevALNIoZ

— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) June 28, 2018

Who are England playing today? Don't worry, we've got all the info you need. pic.twitter.com/8JIm4Oeqv1

— Dave (@davechannel) June 28, 2018

calling in sick to watch england, legend https://t.co/svlzAQU0bY

— wilson🇵🇹 (@ActuallyKadoh) June 28, 2018

Seems Europe is ok with immigrants in their national teams but not on their streets as citizens. Either you celebrate us all the time or you don’t. pic.twitter.com/zjgwhITPe2

— Nimco Ali 🔻 (@NimkoAli) June 28, 2018

I have now watched this 198 times. pic.twitter.com/2HOk9WAaH0#ENGBEL

— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) June 28, 2018

“We would like to assure all customers that football is still coming home but due to unexpected delays on the line a replacement bus service is now in operation”

— Dave (@davechannel) June 28, 2018